At Last My Day Has Come Along

My long wait is over
The weekend is like a song...

Etta James sang it differently, but I mean it just as much.

Friday is here, finally!

I say this word a lot on this day, to keep me from uttering that other famous f-word and getting fired from my icky day job. The one that keeps me in undies, chocy and internet, all of which I need, not necessarily in that order. I can do without undies. Who'd know besides my insane hubby? And he is nutters, his addiction to Star Wars, Barry Manilow, Shark Week and Raisin Cain's, not to mention myself, proves this beyond all shadow of a doubt.

Oh yeah, I put myself in there with his quirky little things he can't get enough of, surely you don't think I don't know my own faults. I'm goofy, weird, bitchy, zany. I have a smart mouth, a sharp tongue (not like that, but now that you mention it, that is probably one reason he puts up with about 99% of the crap he does mmm) and basically, I'm just not always the best of people to have around. Plus, I'm not always there, whether it's emotionally or physically, or both. I go into Lala land at every opportunity, if pushed, I'll fly there at the speed of freak and glare at you from my perch in the Bitch Monkey Tree all the better to spit curses at you from a safe distance.

He knows it, and yet he stays.. why? I don't know why, hell, but I'm glad he does.. most days.

But.. he .. hovers.. thinking I'm a fragile little hothouse flower unable to care for myself. *insert big old heehawing snort here* I love him though for thinking this.. but er.. yeah ..

Case in point..

I want to go to New Orleans this OCT for the KCon.. I know it is sold out, and I know I have a snowball's chance in hell of actually seeing the great SK, but you just never know, right? I do know I will get to see the Glamazon, Madame Meme, and Nee Eye Jo though, and that's good, seeing the creator of the Dark Hunters would be gravy. Plus, I'd probably keel over and choke on my spit if I did see the woman who kick started me into actually writing something that got me started writing at all!

That's right.. Sheri.. is my MUSE.... *sighs* I lurve her.

I only hope there will be room for me in Glamazon's extra room she rented for all her damned SHOES! Neener neener.. can't get me .. well, at least not til October huh?

Jenn
Every Rose has its Thorn..
Mine are tipped with razor sharp barbs loaded with poison, and if that isn't bad enough, the flower talks, and it nags nags nags.. bring it on NOLA, I'm yo huckleberry.

Word Count what does it mean?

To an author, that's sort of like when men go on trips and brag about how quick they got there. Well, for redneck men anyway.

And what is a story but a trip for the mind? Like legal LSD, its a mental trip for you take down a road. If you read one of my books, I've stated up front its a psycho-scenic journey full of zany, quirky characters that will jump out contaminate you with my own brand of weird. I'm contagious, I'm not fatal, but I am terminal.

You can't say I didn't warn you:

Dateless in the Dodge:

Sharlene Hammons didn't volunteer to play the dating game, but that's just what's happened since she moved into Peony Heights. Since then, her so-called friends have paraded a ton of beefcake past her door all in the name of love. When she, Jake and her boss, Cade Barton, go undercover to bust a dating service for its nefarious deeds, she thinks she'll get a break from the madness by pretending he's really her boyfriend. Unfortunately, Cade is a double agent working for the Neighborhood Inquisition.
*********

This excerpt could be subtitled Adventures in Babysitting:

Sharlene paced back and forth in front of the blanket, pausing every few seconds to crouch down in front of the baby. She put her hands out to touch her but Gabrielle shied away, screaming even louder.
"Damn." She stomped her foot and paced again, putting her hands over her ears for a few seconds of peace. What did she know about babies? When they were wet you changed them, when they were hungry, you fed them. When they cried, you... Sang.
"Hush, little baby, don't you cry." Sharlene warbled to her, crouching in front of her again.
For a heartbeat Gabrielle stopped crying, she sniffled.
"Mama's gonna be back by and by."
At the word mama, her delicate face crumbled and she fell on her back, her head thumping on the floor.
"Oh, no, don't do that!"
She took a deep breath and let out the most horrendous howling noise. "Daaaaaaaa!"
"Gabrielle, please." This was ridiculous. She went to pick her up but the baby jerked away from her. "Look here, missy!" She made her voice firm and got kicked in the boob for her trouble.
"Ow! Fine, if that's how you wanna play it." Sharlene simply lay down beside her so that they were eye to eye.
Gabrielle's cries stopped and this time, they didn't start again. Ah, blessed peace. Her ears were ringing from all the noise; she could sue for hearing damage.
"DA!"
"He is out on a date with your mother. Remember she's the one that carried you for nine months in her stomach, mm?" Sharlene propped her head up on her hand.
"Pfth." Spit was her answer.
"Yeck."
More spit slid down her mouth onto the blanket.
"What are you a drool factory?"
"Mmmm." Gabrielle moaned piteously. She popped one of the twenty pacifiers lying on the blanket in her mouth and chewed fiercely on it before spitting it out for another. This went on until she'd exhausted her supply. She eyed Sharlene, as if sizing her up for her next meal.
"What?"Was all she got out before the baby pounced on her. "Ack! Hey, stop that! Ew!"
Gabrielle's mouth gaped open and sucked her whole chin inside. Her tiny gums slid back and forth over her skin. "Mm. mm. Mm." She made little grunting noises as she repeated this process, while her fingers tangled themselves in Sharlene's long blonde hair, all the better to hold her in place.
"My brains are being sucked out through my chin. What are you a zombie?"
"Mmm." This was more like a growl, and she tugged her hair a little harder.
Sharlene lay flat of her back with the baby on top of her like a slightly more attractive face sucker from the movie Alien. However, there was one good thing about this new development. With her mouth full of Sharlene's chin, she couldn't very well scream.
"I am so glad you're happy."
"Gah."
"Yeah, gah to you too." Sharlene's stomach growled, as unlike Gabrielle, she wasn't eating someone’s face. "I'm starving. Do you think maybe we could stop sucking face long enough for me to order a pizza?" She pulled on the baby, got a growl, and increased suction for her trouble. "Ok, fine. But, I'm not explaining the huge hickey to your daddy. You're a little young to be coming out of the closet too. Sheesh."
The doorbell rang, and she struggled to stand, not an easy feat with a small child attached to your face. She peered through the windows on the side of the door and sighed. "Any chance of you letting go for a few minutes?" She stared into the bright blue eyes so close to her own. An extra hard suck answered her and she winced before opening the door. "Hi Cade, what can I do for you?"
****
Cade stared for a long minute before stepping inside the door. Sharlene’s blonde hair fell in long tangles around her face. Her t-shirt was shoved up, exposing the bottom of a hot pink bra. His brow rose as he took this in, as well as the short black shorts that rode low on her hips. She had a pair of legs that wouldn't quit.
Oh, he knew he shouldn't be looking, but he couldn't quite help himself, besides, she was distracted by the baby sucking her face off right now, so he may as well look while the looking was good. And, it was damn good.
"Cade!" Her voice was muffled, but he caught the pissy tone.
"Mm?"
She pulled Gabby back enough to speak clearly. A small squeal rewarded this treatment. "For the third time, do you know anything about babies?"
"Yeah."
"Then. Help. Me." The force of her glare helped to quell his libido, somewhat.
"Oh!"He snapped his head back and nodded. "Sure." He held his hands out. “"Give her to me."
"I would if I could. She’s been like this for almost an hour. I can't break the suction, believe me, I've tried." She pulled, but Gabrielle held tight.
"Let me try. C'mon, Gabby." He put his hands around her belly, his fingers inadvertently brushing against Sharlene’s breast as he did so. She jerked and her eyes shot up to his. "S-sorry."
"Touch what you want, just get her off my face. She’s killing me. I swear, I can feel a brain-slide starting and it’s heading for her mouth. I doubt that’s part of her daily diet plan."
He laughed, but she didn't join him, so he tried again, this time avoiding any areas that might keep him in a cold shower tonight. "Gabby, let go of Auntie Shar's chin." He pulled and the baby growled at him. "Hey now."
"Ow! She's pulling my hair." Sharlene went up on her toes following him and the baby. "Auntie Shar, my... Ouch!"
Cade stumbled and they both wheeled slowly toward the couch in a slow motion dance destined for what he knew would end in disaster. "Oh, hell."
"My hair!"
"Mmm!" Gabby bit down even harder, her grip tightening on Sharlene's hair.
Sharlene began to hiss, her eyes widening over the top of the baby's head.
"What is it?" He instinctively wrapped his arms around them pulling them close as they fell onto the couch. Her hips slid between his legs, something he would have enjoyed any other time. The soft swell of her breasts pushing against his chest took his breath away, or it could have been the baby's butt pressing against his windpipe.
Then Sharlene screamed, Gabby screamed and Cade wasn't ashamed to admit that he screamed too. Finally, they stopped he lay in the tangle of arms and legs and tears blinking up at the sight blood trickling down Sharlene's face. Blood? The phone rang before he could investigate further.
"Get the phone." She murmured, her voice as calm as always.

"God look at all the blood." As he picked up the phone, he swiped some off her chin and held it up for her and the baby to see. And that was when all hell broke loose.

Hope you like it.. And if them little freaky symbols are in there.. I DON'T KNOW WHY, I HATE THEM TOO.. *I think they are gremlins*

Jenna Leigh
aka
Jennzilla
Travellor of the Psychopath

Coffee Time Loop Chat

Champagne Books is having a Coffee Break!!

What? An all day loop chat.

Where? Coffee Time Romance/ Karen Find out About New Books

When? Friday July 28 Beginning 12 pm Eastern. That's 11 a.m. to us more centered individuals

So, come on over and see us, and find out about new books and all the ones coming out soon. We'll have excerpts, prizes and loads of fun. Hope to see you there.
What is Champagne Books all about?

Here is our link to browse around.
Champagne Books

Beach Baby Beach Baby Down on the Sand..

Come on over to Midnight Social and party with us!! We'll be there from 12 Noon Eastern until...

There's goin to be a treasure hunt, excerpts from Spellfire Moons as well as the Romps, Raptures and many other juicy, delightful, stories from the Midnight Showcase authors. So, you don't want to miss it! Join up on the Midnight Social loop early and have a blast. Think of it like this, you can have a beach party without the heat, the smell and the annoying sand in your bathing suit bottoms. It's a win win situation. Hope to see you there!



Click to join Midnight_Social

Hubby may be insane.. but..

He is also pretty smart, sometimes. And, yeah, he's hawt too. Yall don't think I put up with that dang thermostat crap for nothing right? Riiigght.

Hubby's Blog He poses a pretty neat question on there. What sitcom would your life or at least your work life be?

Heck, my life is nuts so, I dont' know, I guess my work place is pretty cool. There's xrays bouncing all over the dang place, too bad we can't be the X-files(wipes off David Duchovny drool) and have these scary monsters creeping out of the closet at regular intervals. *pauses* Wait a dang minute, this is me we're talking about. No, that aint happening, they don't pay me enough. Yeah, and besides, my supervisor has a gun, the episodes would only last long enough for him or the Dr's to get to their trucks and say YEEEHAW THAT'LL LOOK GREAT ON THE WALL! KA-BLAMM!! Cue Commercial break, that's all yall!

So, what? Rednecks on Parade? I'd have to make up my own dang show. Sort of like Survivor or Rockstar, but with some extra bits.. I'll have to ponder on this. But, I still wanna be Latka's girlfriend. *wiggles brows* And Glamazon is still gotta be Elaine.. But they'd better put me in that cage thing of Danny Devito's character Louie.. mmm.

Dibby Dibby Dah

The heat is on...

Ok this man is hot. I will admit there is a certain sort of heat, that I actually enjoy. I like to sweat when I look at him. When his smoldering gaze settles upon me alone among the millions of others, and I know it is me that he's looking at not YOU PEOPLE *pauses for a drink of tea* and there's a certain, you know, pooling of liquid, in my ..

Oh .. just.. stop looking at the damn picture.

What? I wasn't talking to yall, I was talkin to myself! Gah! Anyway.. That sort of heat is way cool, and I like it a LOT.. *sigh* Dayam. *shields eyes and types*

If you will recall, hubby and I had the thermo wars not a week ago, and yes, I did state in a not so nice manner that I would buy my own 'flashlight' and if he ticked me off, said 'flashlight' would have three speeds and some most delightfully wicked multi-functional thingimabobble doohickies on it, and it would be my new best friend. However, I did not know my new 'flashlight' wouldn't be a BOB but would in fact be a FAN. Yeah, Xrated has turned into oscillated.

He turned off my damned AC again! OMG! I can NOT believe him. I am between sleep and waking.. it's 2 am. Is this the bitching hour or something? I have to ask Meems, if she doesn't know the answer, she'll either know or she'll let me come live with her, where I am quite sure her hubby doesn't do this sort of heinous crapola. And if he does, then it is two of us against him, so nannie nannie boo boo. Anyhow, I am just there, blinking at the ceiling, wondering why I can't sleep, and then wondering why I'm sweating so profusely.

I again think of the menopause, and smile, but once again, my hopes are dashed upon the shores of the Summer of De'Spare (as in the bedroom, where he'll be sleepin if he does this again) My brain shifts into sweaty overdrive, panicking because I have to work in the morning on no sleep, by myself. What if I pass out, nobody else is there. OMGOMG!

Finally, I snap out of the fugue state, and stomp out of my room down the hall and slam the thing off 95! Yes, you heard me right, 90 frickin 5!! GAAAAAAAAH! I turn around and stomp back into my room and turn the bathroom light on, the one that he always yells about shining him in the eyes. *growls* And I stand at the end of the bed and I glare at him, loudly. Glares make noise, if you do them RIGHT! However, he sleeps on, so peacefully, looking so innocent and sweet that I wish to kill him with my second best knife. I won't use my first best because I will NOT have it languish in the evidence pen of some redneck podunk police department while I get off scot free for killing him. Because let me tell you not a jury will convict me once I tell them why I did it!

Prosecuter: Ma'am? Why'd you stab yo hubby 20 times?
Me: Well, he turned my dang AC off.
Defender: What month was this again?
Me: It was July and ..
Jurists: gasps!!!
Judge: chokes
Prosecuter: I object!!
Judge: To what? Hell, he needed killin! Case dismissed!
Jurists: Hell yeah! Killin's too good for him..

Ok, maybe not scot free, I may have to serve at least ONE term as governor. *sighs* But, after that, I'm not doin nothing else. No talk shows, and no baby kissin, they have germs.

I do love that man, though, and he must have felt guilty, because he bought me my fav salad and a Frosty for lunch.

But he's being watched.. Amazon Teen Queen's is my spy and if he so much as touches that thermostat, she comes and tells me. But the real danger lurks beneath the bed.. EFO the secret agent cat/assassin, he's decided that the time has come to ventilate the MFU (male feeder unit) Meowch!

I hope that we make it through August without killing one another in the Thermo-wars. I'm If I win the Lotto, my first purchase shall be a house at the North Pole, I'm moving there for the remainder of the summer.

Viv La AC!! Blow baby blow

Jenn

One is the lon...

Ok, can't even finish that.. I'd be lyin..
Spellfire's number one for right now. For one hot minute, so Go look at it.. and SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! Thanks Jamie for the heads up!!
Fictionwise

Yeah yeah .. whoohoo!

Pay no attention to the woman behind the curtain

As she doesn't really exist you see. I am the all powerful, all knowing, all seeing Jennzilla. All shall worship me and despair. *coughs* Who in the crap left the smog machine on again? Fine, yes, I am updating my avatar. piccie.. leave me be!

LOS'ers doesn't mean what you think.

This is a story, of four very lurvly gurls.. they all had hair of.. Well, only our hair dressers know for sure. *coughs* Moving on..

Spellfire is Number 2! Yeehaw! Mae Powers and Jewel Adams, Melanie, Karen, Charissa, and yes, me are all in this digest together. Mae and Jewel are veterens you know. But, the other four, well.. we're so not. LOL.



We are newbies to the core. Hey, that rhymes! No, I'm not a poet, and even I know it. The point is that we ain't doin too shabby. So, if you haven't picked up a copy of Spellfire Moons.. then hey, try it you might like it.

Spellfire Moons



I have my very own page there, you know. Which sort of flipped me out.

Fictionwise Link
Available now by this author *blink blink* I still can't get my head around that.
Braless in the Buick/May 2006
Spellfire Moons /July 2006

In the immortal words of readers everywhere: What else is new? I'm workin on it! Honest, pinky swear. I've sent it out.. I did. Promise. I sent the wyvern to my publisher. I hope she loves me, I mean it and says yes, dear, we'll take it. *flutters lashes*

You know for me, at least, this all started because I like red. Fantasy Lover's book cover is red, and it's got a nekkie man chest on it. Darn you Sherilyn Kenyon.. this is all your fault. *sniffles* I love you, you know.

Jenna Leigh

Changes? Or, Hormones, Hot, and Jenn .. not a good combo

The EFO is a vile and wicked kitty. Today, I took a cat nap. Perhaps this is why I awoke to him sitting on my chest, he was jealous or somethin. When I opened my eyes he was giving me his patented glare.

At first, he only licked my nose, which I found sort of sweet in that grossed out, he can lick his own butt sort of way. Then, he made me pet his ears. When I stopped he BIT me on the finger really hard. I was still asleep enough to be traumatized well beyond the extent of my injury. I screamed bloody murder and hubby came running. He overcame his usual fear of the cat and pulled him off the bed, claw by claw and put him out of the room. This ended nap time for Jennjenn. *sighs*

This has not been a good week for me. I started out the week pink. PINK is NOT a good color for me to be. I was burned, dammit! I am not all that hawnky! Seriously, I shouldn't be burning in the sun. Pfth. But, I did. Now, I'm the Cocoa Goddess (shut it, I've wanted to be that for a while, SO DEAL!) and I'm happy, but Monday, I was the Pink Princess, and I did NOT like it.

So, what's changed bout me lately? I don't know, but something has. I'm becoming more and more angry, less inclined to give, more inclined to take, less happy, more .. bitch. Ok, those that know me say, what the hell else is new? I've been one for a while, yes, I know that. But, I've been the bouyant bitch, the happy shiney bitch that makes you laugh while she cuts your throat and bathes in your blood by the light of the silvery moon. *pauses* That's a song isn't it? If not, it should be. Anyway, lately, I've found myself having these tendencies, and they are darker, meaner, more inclined to land me in a jail cell full of women that will trade me for a pack of ciggies. I smoke ciggies, I refuse to be traded for them, dammitall.

Where are these thoughts coming from? The ones that come out late at night and laugh in their tiny little voices and tell me to do things with sharp and/or blunt objects to loved ones that may or may not be fiddling with my A/C thermostat. *blinks* If this seems to be a petty reason to kill, maim, or bludgeon someone, then you aint spent a summer in the South, my little northern friend. More than likely, you've got no dang A/C and if you do have one, you don't even use the dang thing, so shut up. Until you've walked a mile in my flip flops and had them stick to the melted alsphalt, then SHUT UP!

Sweaty Nights of Summer:

Night 1: 2 am.. I'm awake because I've slept most of the night away in a stupor.. I hear a clanging noise and sit straight up in the bed, smack hubby and go WHAT THE CRAP IS THAT NOISE OMGOMGOMG GO AND KILL IT! Hubby asks, "Why do I have to kill it?" I inform him that he is in the possession of both the flashlight and the penis, therefore, it is his duty in life to perform this action. He sighs, picks up his flashlight, adjusts the aforementioned penis and jerks open the door to the AC makin a godawful racket.

I tell him to kick the damn thing.. he taps it with his pinky toe. I say again to kick it.. he gives it a slightly harder tap. OMG is he not a man? Do not they ALL believe in kicking and/or hitting things like the hoods of cars and tops of TV's? So, hot and sweaty and having a Southern Belle fit I scream KICK IT he does, the noise stops. However, he goes INSANELY PARANOID, thus beginning my descent into Psychoville. For those of you that just thought that it shouldnt be a very long trip, I heard that. (and ye shall surely perish) To top the cotton, he keeps turning off the damn airconditioner!! AACCCKKK!!!


Night 2: 11 p.m. After I've told the Memster nighties, and made myself take the shower, I'm laying in the bed, and my hair is wet.. I mean wringing wet with sweat, I'm burning up!! I go OMG, am I dying? Or even better *big fat grin* Am I having what I've been looking forward to my whole adult female life? Yes, girls and boys, the MENOPAUSE!! As I know I'm not this lucky, I smack the hubby on the arm and ask him if he's screwed with the thermostat. "Um, dunno." is the answer.

We'd agreed not to, since, we'd supervised it all evening long and it'd been fine. But, he has gone behind my back and TURNED IT UP ON 95 DEGREES.. jeez. I'm laying here in Lake Jenn wondering why I can't breathe and he's trying to give me the St. William act. You know, I was born at night, but it wasn't last night. I am hormonal this week, therefore, I may have overreacted a tad by jumping out of the bed, stomping down the hall and slamming the thermostat down on 50. I hope it snows in the house and we all get frostbite. Did I hear Jinglebells ??? GOOD!


Night 3: Well, day three.. I come home and since he won't run the air while we ain't home. IT IS ROASTING TEMPERATURE IN THIS HOUSE... The cat IS ANGRY! Therefore, now you know why he bit me. This is why it's all his fault.. If I catch the Catscratch Fever, or whatever the crap it's called, I'm blaming hubby and his ditty bag of neuroses.. I shall also use it as defense at the murder trial, well that and PMS.. because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.. Oh, come on, yall knew that was comin'


Jenn
Aaahhh Those Summer Nights

Sent down the river

m

There be gators.. YES! THERE ARE GATORS!! Luckily for moi, my mommy not only brings the tater salad, she also has a pistol. Aint she the bestest ever? *sighs* She made us burgers.. *blinks* Come to think of it, I didn't see any damn gators. OMG! If I ate gator burgers I will be very very angry! *spits* I didn't see Steve Irwin either, I wonder if these two ate him. I bet he was crunchy and tasted good with hot sauce. What? We don't do ketchup, it's hot sauce or the highway yall.

Anyhoo...
This is the first thing you see when you walk up to the Nana Compound. The reptile smiles welcome you, they say come on in, relax, set a spell. Pah. At least they match the big fat concrete one down by the water. He's scary slimey and way too realistic looking for me.

So, this was my day. I went to the river, had to stay outside all fripping day LONG! My motto has been "Outside is the reason God invented inside." for a very long time. There is a variation on it that also fits. "Outside is the reason God invented air conditioning." Yes, that's right, I live in the south, it's hot.

We went to Nana Compound, where we were fed the food of the gods, at least according to my hubby. That's hamburgers to you and me. Then, we are herded into the death barge and carted down the river Stinks. *coughs* Oh fine! We went up the river to the sand bar. I didn't want to go, but I did. She made me. My mother made me go, against my will. I'm 30 *mutter mutter* years old and I'm made to go outside. *pouts*

When we pull up to the sand bar, at first I am most put out as there are these things there that I like to call PEOPLE. I don't do people. I don't like them, I do deal well with them, I don't think they really should exist. On further investigation, however, I find they aren't actual people, they are in fact insane rednecks, whom I know. These aren't people, therefore, they do exist. Don't look at me like that, I know what you are thinking, and you're right. Let's move on.

All of these rednecks are , loud, and erm.. ok, drunk. Some are even *whispers* relatives. One or two are classmates. Yes, it is in the water, and yes we still drink it and swim in it. Not the river, which I got into, against my wishes, as it was hot and I was dying.

Also: I despise fish unless they are mealed, fried, accompanied by hushpuppies, frenchfries, light bread, and on my plate. They BIT me! This is supposed to go the other way around. Someone needs to send them a memo, waterproof of course.

There needs to be a memo sent to the idiots in the boats to stop looking at my 16 yr old daughter and saying things like wohoo baby, and yummy and oh yeah and doing that hunching the air thing. I am not amused. My husband was well past the nonamused stage. My mother was turning purple and if her husband allowed handguns on the Puddin Party Barge, they'd have been ventilated in areas that have left THEM very unamused as well. However, he doesn't allow it, as he knows my mother all too well.

The day went well, all things considered, even the hunching wohoo baby boys, which besides me giving them the one fingered universal salute, I ignored. I was all smug too, thinking that I didn't sunburn. I bragged to my fellow author friends about it. I told them that I was too ethnically enriched to burn. Well pah, I've been living like a little hermit mushroom for too long. Did you know that if you stay inside 24/7/365 that the warrantee runs out on your damn natural immunity to the sun? I didn't. But oohoo nelly, I know it now! I glow in the dark! But, never let it be said that long term exposure to the Glamazon has NOT had some had some effects..

Cause, I wore my hot pink scrubs to match my SUNBURN!


Jenna Leigh

Your Friendly Neighborhood Magenta-Neck
Somehow that just does NOT have the same ring to it.. *sighs*

Feeding your Muse..

With good home cookin', some good old country fried evil covered in home grown mean. Moouahahha. Yeah yeah, you shut up. I love a good somebody done somebody wrong song just as much as the next hick, but damn it! A girl's gotta have an anthem to stand up and kick a man to the curb by sometimes you know.

That Sara Evans almost does it, but she tends to whine in that When You Where Cheatin. It gets on my nerves after a while.

But this Danielle Peck is heifer of a different color. I like it.. the other day when I finally FINALLY figured out that I no longer had VH1 Country after a week of this here CMT Pure channel with these 330 Sessions, which aren't half bad. This is my kind of reality tv if you must know. There is no real drama, all the singers are professional already, so I don't have to listen to crap I wouldn't subject my damn shower stall to and well.. I like country music singers, cause they're a real close family. (Hank come on and tell me why do ya drank?)

So, I'm watching this show and this woman comes on and starts out and says.. Ooohhhh and basically, blows me away. LOL. I sit up and go OMG! That is the song that they should have sang back when mama and daddy broke up! Jeez. There is one line in there that states most emphatically.. Jesus forgives you, I won't.. cause Jesus loves you, but I don't..

Mean huh? Surprised this spoke to me so much that I went to the Hellmouth and bought the CD? What do you mean you aren't surprised? Oh.. you know me that well huh? I'm not surprised either *grins* That's cool.. I got the Finding a Good Man song too.. and don't think I aint singing it at the top of my lungs right now.. hubby's closed my door and turned up the tv.. he has no hope of tuning me out..

Here's to you Danielle Peck.. for feeding my mean muse and making me smile. I'm so taking this CD to my mama for a listen. She'll love it too.. The mean lil apple dont' fall far from the tree yall.

Love ya,

Jenn

Children of the Corn... Child of the 80's

Yeah yeah, shut UP! I know I'm supposed to be writing something! However, I must tell about my neurosis. I must purge my pitiful pain upon this page for all to see thereby letting out my sorrow so that I may somehow overcome *sobs*
Oh fiddle, I'm letting yall know that I'm scared of the dang corn, ok?
Yes, me! I'm afraid of corn!
***
Not on the plate, if you slather it in butter I can scarf it like a big dawg. Then I am the predator and it becomes my prey.. bwhahahahhhah. *coughs*
However, when it's on the stalk *points at the picture* looking like that, and it's dark and the wind blows through it, making that sawing sighing weird noise, I swear I hear that boy talking. "He wants you too Malachai." *shudders* Eeeek! Surely Malachai is my hubby's name, right?*runs away* (How in the crap do you spell that? and how does that little boy talk that way?)

The point is, my father in law has MEANLY planted three rows of that vicious veggie which looms over a small alley of grass for me to walk through to get to my Grandfather in law's. *grumbles*

In the day time, I'm ok. But at night, it turns into .. STEPHEN KING HOUR!! ACCK! I see things.. and then, OMG the movie Signs.. and there is no Mel Gibson to soften the blow either. *whimpers*

Why is corn so scary? And the scarecrow's too. We don't have one thank God, crows don't come down here cause it's too damn hot, and we got a mean Pom who'd eat them. *blinks* Oh and a baby who I mentioned racking the hubby in my previous blog post. *hee hee hee* She'd try and eat them too or drown them in the swimming pool. Which makes me wonder why I'm so scared of the hapless and potentially yummy corn when the Children in the Corn (aka Hubby's baby sister) are where the real danger lies.. Wait, darkness falls, big tall swaying corn.. bugs, spiders. AAAAAACK!

As always, Stephen King had the right idea..

Children of the Corn was a slash and gore book that became a slash and gore 80's film or was it a deep and abiding truthful tell all book about the frightening savagery of children? Mm, points for an author to ponder on a Sunday afternoon when she's supposed to be writing a synopsis instead.

Wait.. You realize, he used kids to scare people a lot?
Little Redrum in the Shining.. and them damn twins too.. eek
Gage in Pet Sematary.. The cat too
Carrie.. poor thing.. she went PMS postal!
Rose Red The little girl with the arm? She was scary

He likes to use little kids in his stories to lure people in to bring them down to . .. SCARE YOU! Kids are innocent they are otherworldly they are simply other to adults and he knows it. We aren't kids anymore and we sometimes look at them like they're aliens. Especially when they're teens. Babies... instruments of horror, who knew? Well, the King did. REDRUM!! And I'm not getting into the dogs, clowns and dolls *shudders* ew.


Jenn
Who is going back to her dang synopsis now.
psst.. I know there is one that will agree w/me about loving the King of Horror.. *hands her a cookie with blood red icing* *winks*

There's a thin line

Between love and hate.
This isn't just a song you know. In your relationships, whether spouse, friend, child, work (spit, hiss, growl .. er.. sorry) or where you grocery shop, (ze Hellmart) there are always two sides to the coin. Especially for me. I don't know if it's because I'm a woman, a writer, a Libra or crazy LOL or what, but I have this duality in me.

Case in point:

Hubby comes home while I'm promo-ing the book. Puts on her promo face:
Spellfire Moons is OUT !! WHOO YEAH! I'm so happy about it too, yall.

What does he do? He comes in here and stands over me like a vulture and talks while I'm trying to type out something to the loops knowing I can't walk and chew gum at the same time much less think. I stop and ask him to wait a minute and let me do this and I'll be right out. I do this nicely. *pauses* I do! Why are you all snickering, I can be nice, sometimes. So, he keeps on with his rant. I finally say, in the no longer nice way that if he doesn't remove himself from my immediate vicinity it shan't be pretty. And I gnash my teeth at him. He stalks off still ranting.

I am sick too. *cough cough cough* Is it dark in here or is it just me? Good bye cruel world! Parting is such sweet sorrow.. *opens one eye* Fine! I aint dyin but still, he could leave me the crap alone! I don't care if the daughter is still asleep at noon, hell if I could have stayed asleep I would have too! Stupid new meds, how dare they allow me to wake up so bloody refreshed feeling. Pah! Fiddle and all that. However, I do have a kidney infection, but this doesn't prevent him from whining for me to help him CLEAN THE BLOODY HOUSE
OMG THE HUMANITY THE HORROR!! THE PAIN !!!THE PAIN!!
MY EYES ARE BLEEDING!!! MY BRAIN HAS MELTED..

Yall aren't buyin that any more than he did are yall? Well crap! Am I gonna have to give my Oscar back to the Academy? I refuse.. it's too damn late anways cause I peeled all the gold foil off and ate the chocy so pfffth!

So, we clean and clean and clean.. and I have way more socks than I thought, and way more bras too. Why do I keep old razors? And how in the hell did all this stuff get under the bed? *shoves it all back under there* He enjoys the vacuum, which frightens me. However, he doesn't understand the concept of the toilet brush or the comet on the sink and the cleaning the mirror of all this toothpaste flickings, which irritates ME to no end.

So, basically I hate him. *smiles*

He bought an air purifier so this is why we did all this b.s. and my room smells all clean now, like my mother's house. I will be unable to sleep for fear that she'll come sidling in and loom over me with her arms folded across her chest waiting for me to wake up so she can critique my crappy hospital corners. They're wonderful by the way, and what would SHE know? She's had a damn waterbed for the past 20 years. *snorts* I'm so glad she doesn't read my blog *blinks* At least, I hope she doesn't read my blog. Dear God, don't let her read my blog.

Still hating him...

Then, he comes into the house.. gets his Light Sabers and Darth Vadar Mask (don't ask and NO they haven't been used for THAT! gah) and goes outside. I hear him, my daughter, his baby sister and nieces outside, giggles, squeals. Then the inevitable happens, the high pitched screams begin, the sound of running, more giggles..

He comes in.. slams the door and locks it.. His baby sister (she's two) racked him with a saber.. laughed like a loon. His hair is stuck up all over his head and he looks pretty much adorable.. aw, damn, I guess I've crossed back over the line..

and I love him again,

even though he's Jethro the Redneck Jedi.. ok, especially then.And you know I'm sayin it.

The Force is strong within those young ones and yes, I am teaching them well. Impressive.. most.. impressive.. Hubby better watch out the next time the Jenn-Pire Strikes Back, cause I'm gonna teach the littlest Ewok some new tricks over behind the 3rd moon of Jenndor where he can't see us.

Jenn Vadar
Signing off..
PS: Yall know I'm really peeved now cause I am really a damn Trekkie! I'm down on my knees beggin Spocks forgiveness too(erm.. yeah that's what I'm doin' down here *winks*)

Trying to put up my cover.. Again

Here we go, hopefully. Technical difficulties are making me wish I had a magic wand. I'm moving to Spellfire TX as soon as I can.
That'd be fun. I wonder if they'll let me work at the area hospital and bandage all the cute studly men that get hurt in the bars.
A nice Were would be nice *sighs*
Oh.. er.. never mind.
*grins*
Back to your regularly scheduled insanity
Jenna Leigh

A Tale of Two Kidneys

While the remainder of the post is a biiig old rant.. I do have some very nice news to impart.. Spellfire Moons is available now!! Whohooo!!
See Yahoo Blog For the rest of the story

Now.. onto the rant..


I've changed meds and I've been happy with them more or less, give or take yadda yadda .. They make me thirsty,tired and basically high, but that's ok, I've lost 10+ pounds, so, WHOHOOO!! YEAH BABY!

But, on Tuesday night, I noticed that my other (old and still being consumed)meds looked different, however, since a huge green sticker basically told me to shut up and take it, on Wednesday, I took it. I was zombified the entire day. My flesh was cold,(I live in Louisiana, it was 100 degrees) my eyes were swollen, I had the fever and chills, they were multiplyin, I was losin control. The feelin was electrifyin.. my skin crawled, my body jerked. It was horrible. Yeck. I stayed at work all day, but when I got home, I went to bed and there I stayed where for some reason I had the urge to watch Con Air. *meh*

As I lay there, I noticed that my tummy felt not the norm.. mm.. if perhaps I hadn't been sniggering at Nick Cage's attempts to sound like a hillbilly "Put thu bunnay dowun." *snorts* or lustin quite so heartily after the John Cusack *slurps* I may have noticed that my organs were conspiring against me..

Let us call them.. Lenny and Squiggy for shits and giggles..
I could say Laverne and Shirley but girlfriends don't cause other girlfriends this much aggro.. however it does take place in one of the twin cities, right?
Milwaukee WI? Or is that Minnisota? Hell, I don't know and I am way too full of frickin Cranberry juice to care at this point!
Lenny and Squiggy would have done something like this..
*Door slams open*
"Hello Livern" Lenny combs his greasy hair back with his comb before sticking it back in his letterman jacket.
Squiggy pushes him out of the way to leer at Spleeny. "Hello beautiful."
However, he knows she is taken by none other than.. C'arspine who'll kill him if he tries anything.
*******
Oh who the bloody well cares? I have a theory and it's pissin me off. Since I've not had a drop of coke or coke related products for a month now, my kidneys, liver and all the other related organs have decided to stage some sitcom type revolution! Without the aid of Citric Acid to scour out these freaky little sponges of my digestive tract, they've become some sort of housing project for the likes of Lenny, Squiggy, Livern and Spleeny. The next thing you know the damn Fonz'll be up in there with Pinky wasser name and Leather-face jumpin over my bladder on motorcycles with tires made out of pieces of my small intestines! OMG! It is unfair that I have a kidney infection for the first time in my entire life after quittin cokes for since like ever! For 3..*muttermutter* years I've drank them.. every single day and nothin! now, I quit and drink water and GREEN TEA! *blech* and what happens? Kidney Infection.. yeck.. blast and damn..
I blame .. well I blame someone and when I find out who? Let's just say, it won't be pretty..


Jennarelli
Heeyyyyyyy

P.S. In case yall thought I forgot or something, IT'S FRIDAY!! YEEEEEEEEEHAW!!

Hunka Hunka Hammock Luv

Thanks to the Meme Muse and the Karen Karma I worked on the WIP tonight and, whatta ya know? .. Mack's a very bad boy. Here I thought he was gonna take a back seat to Gilly's drama queen theatrics and he pops up (pun intended) with this. For shame Mack. *I like it*


I have to say, I'm relieved. After a few weeks of no writing at all besides some edits (Major, soul sucking eye popping brain eating zombifying edits, bloody stupid WordPerfect.. stupid quotation marks stupid stupid things!) I've actually written something and what a something it was. I love it.

Gillian and Mack are my favorites so far of all my characters. Gillian is really bad.. but I think ole Mack is gonna tame her yet, cause he's got her number. And those two evil children, well, let me just say that I never thought being a mommy would pay off quite so well. Carrie is like my daughter to the nth degree. Kev? He's just the All American Doofus boy. Poor Kev..
So, sit right back while I write this tale .. a tale of a fateful trip.. it started out ..
Yall gone have to wait til I get it finished now aint ya?

By the by, I forgot to say that due to the powers invested in my by the Goddesses of Friday.. I actually did the impossible. I made two Fridays this week.. You heard me people. I had Friday.. TWICE!! I had Mon(ew) Tues(ewew) Wed(ewewew) Friday(ooh) Friday(ooh ooh) Do yall see something missin in there? Mmm.. yes, it is nice isn't it? Yes, I like that. Friday Friday Friday.. YIPPEEEE I like Friday..

Come on yall do it with me now.. Friday Fandango!! It's late, I know, but better late than never!!!!!

Jenn
The Ever Lovin Friday Queen
WIP it Good

Four Roses for Braless in the Buick!!

From Tina at Love Romances

Allie Stephenson lived the simple live or so she thought. A single mom, all she wanted to do was work and raise her son. With an ex-husband who dumped her for a younger woman, Allie had her fill of relationships until her son gets sick while doing his paper route. Allie runs to the aide of her ailing son and as she tries to fulfill his job obligations she breaks one of the customers flower pot.

Jake Donally is not a happy camper when he hears the crashing sound of his bonsai hitting the front porch. Hell bent on giving the responsible party a piece of his mind; he stops dead in his tracks when he sees the beauty responsible standing in her PJ’s.

Jake couldn’t be happier to find the source of his investigation standing in his front lawn. He’d been trying to figure out how to worm his way into her life to find out the secrets she’s hiding for her ex-husband. Now he’s been given the ammo he needs.

Will Jake find the information he’s looking for to convict Allie’s ex and all parties involved? Or will he find more than he’s bargained for with Allie Stephenson?

This reviewer found BRALESS IN THE BUICK to be classic, downright humorous story. This reviewer felt Ms. Leigh really outdid herself with the cast of characters she provided in this book. Ms. Leigh gave her heroine Allie a group of nosy, bush-hiding female neighbors who you can’t help but fall in love with. Their witty one-liners are to die for. Their involvement in the heroine, Allie’s live is so irresistible you must keep reading just to see what they will do next!

Jake the hero in the story is sexy, secretive, a brut at times, but also softhearted. He’s the true hero in every sense. This reviewer felt the attraction between the pair was undeniable. Ms. Leigh is a wonderful storyteller. Ms. Leigh pulls you into the plot quickly, not boring you with too much background information. Ms. Leigh allows the events to unfold in a timely manner, giving Jake and Allie time to grow.

This reviewer can’t say enough about BRALESS IN THE BUICK. The cast of characters will grow on you and keep you guessing until the end!

BRALESS IN THE BUICK is a must read for any lover of contemporary comedy romance. This reviewer highly recommends this book and looks forward to future books by Ms. Leigh.

Hi All. I did it, I submitted

Dun.. dun DUNNNN!! Now, I'm all scared and stuff. LOL I'm waiting on pins and needles. Hopefully, I will hear some news soon. Maybe the wyvern will be out and about flipping and flopping around into the hearts and minds of millions. Nee will shake her cheesehead Favre lovin arse around and sing the I told you so song to her heart's content. Meems will smile her smug smile. Kitta will chortle with evil glee. Liv will snigger smuttily. And Karen? Well, she's mean and evil, and all will worship her and despair.. Nae Nae et al? Who knows.. LOL
Hubby just wants to know when he can quit his job and be a kept man. Heck, he needs to get his butt to writing so I can quit MY job! Sheesh man..
Oh, I'm gonna try ONE MORE TIME to post my cover for Midnight Showcase.. *sighs*

Easy, Breezy, Beautiful, Cover Girls!!!

High Chairs and High Stakes
What happens when you cross a single vamp dad with an aversion for witches with a nanny who's favorite form of travel is a broom? One of them has bitten off more than they can chew.
Excerpt:
Erin looked down at the paper, then looked at it again to make sure of the address. She'd just received it this morning. A trailer? With a long sigh, she hefted her canvas tote and grumbled as she walked up the long gravel drive.
Her broom sputtered out right at the old rusted mailbox, so she was hoofing it. The stars were bright in the clear Texas sky. She breathed in the scent of the warm summer night and smiled. Spellfire with all its assorted magical beings was her favorite place in the world.
She knocked and the door opened with an ominous creak. Oh brother, she rolled her eyes at the theatrics. Leave it to a vamp.
The man opening the door hardly fit the role of Reinfield. Instead, there stood a luscious slab of beefcake if ever she ever saw one. Her fingers itched to touch the raven black hair that just reached a pair of broad shoulders. The security lights surrounding the door threw his face into shadow, highlighting a pair of cheekbones so sharp they could cut glass. Full lips set off his square jaw to perfection. Then she noticed his eyes, the color of beaten silver, shining out from under straight black brows and felt herself sinking into them. Oh yeah, a hunka burning sex. "Hi there, I'm Erin. I'm here to see--." She looked down at the paper.
"Matthias Gregory." His voice came deep and rough with a faint British accent.
Shivers ran up and down her spine, some of them snuck down into her undies, making her clamp her thighs together. "Yeah, that's him." She smiled brightly, walking closer to the door. "Do you know him? Is he here?" She moved in for the kill, intending to make her moves on this stud muffin before word got out about him around town.
"I am Matthias Gregory."
Well, crap, wasn't that always the way? Here stood Mr. Beefcake Deluxe--her new employer. Fate carried one hell of a long memory, she wasn't the only one that TP'd their yard that time.
"Sheeiit." She sighed, her shoulders slumping dejectedly.
****
Keep in mind that my novella is but one of those being released with so many other wonderful stories in this digest. I love these anthologies because you get a little bit of everything all in one book. So, stay tuned

SPELLFIRE MOONS DIGEST
Coming Soon from:

Midnight Showcase
July 2006


Jenna
Who'd be jumping for joy if she wasn't so tired from her family
reunion. *small happy wiggles*

PS: I will post on that tomorrow. And no, there wasn't a fight Gah!

Monday Monday.. la la la la

So, it's Monday, AGAIN! You'd think we'd have learned all we needed to know about this horrid day by now. All throughout the ages, Monday has tormented many a creative soul. Innocents fall beneath her trampling feet. Untold horrors are committed upon the hard working men and women making them squint in puzzlement and wonder.. "What happened to my jammies? Oh why, hath thou forsaken us, Weekend?" Ok, that may just apply to me, but I doubt it!

Mondays are either fast and frenetic making it hard to catch your breath as you try to get back into the groove that was broken by the sweet, slow, seductive pace of Saturday and Sunday. Or it drags on FOREVER! GAAAAHHHHH.. stuck in the MONDAY ZONE AAAAAAAAUGH! If the weekdays were a family, Monday would be the ugly sister. And a heinous beeyotch at that.


Tuesday is just a small blessing, in that it aint Monday, though, sometimes Monday disguises herself as Tuesday, and is just more mature and cunning in her torment. Heifah.

Wednesday's rep is a bit tarnished, seeing how she's also called Hump Day. She is the one that gets dumped alot, as people say, once we get over Wednesday we got it made!!

Thursday is ignored for the most part, sometimes, not even named, just called Friday Eve by the weekend lovers among us *coughs* me *coughs* But, she is more beloved than either Wednesday or Tuesday.

Friday is a major slut, as more people f*ck off on her than any other day of the week combined. They say, I aint doin this, it's Freakin Friday! Hell, let it wait until Monday, it'll be a bitch any old way. (see? Monday--Bitch, it all becomes clear)

Which brings us to the golden children-- Saturday and Sunday. For most of the populace, these are their all important DAYS OFF.. and if you try and screw with them, certain individuals, and when I say that I mean ME, will get ill and rip your face off, with their teeth. They defend this act with the thoughts that if they go to jail, then there will be no more Mondays, every day will suck and therefore be the same... democratic suckiness.. Not just for politicians anymore, I guess. Though, Bush sux big dong for that crap he did today. Pah..

Ok, enough of Mondayitis.

I do have some news.. I submitted the Tail of the Wyvern ,hence the picture that hubby made me up there in the corner where I began to make my point, way back in the freakin stoneage. So, now there's nothing to do but wait, and keep working on my other WIP's. One of them is going along swimmingly, I love Gillian and Mack.. sighs..

Jennzilla the Killa
of Monday.. Ding dong the heifer's dead.. YEAH!

Another WIP is finished.. Sighs

Shadow of the Wolf is the story of Lainie and Marcus. This is number one in a series of three that I have in various stages of completion. Yes, Livvy I can see you tapping your fingers on the desk, dear. Yes, it does help. Uh huh. *grins*

Lainie is a reporter after a corrupt business man with a secret. She sees her childhood friend as her ticket to the scoop of the century. In the meantime, she'll have to reacquaint herself with the man she's compared all her other lovers to and found lacking.

Marcus a werewolf at the top of a dog eat dog business that only wants to keep his secret safe from Lainie. That doesn't prevent him from wanting to show her how much he still wants her after all this time.

The couple will have to deal with new danger in the form of a mutual enemy, Marcus' father. Samuel is the former leader of the Arizona wolf pack, a position that Marcus now occupies. Now that he's found Lainie, he's sure his father isn't far behind. And then there's the rest of the pack to deal with, who said it was easy being top dog?

77,000 / 77,000 (100.0%)

Jenn,
Who only needs to get the courage to submit.. sighs..

Let me tell ya a story bout a girl named Jenn

A poor authoress barely kept her family fed... Ok, fine, that's exaggerating it but only slightly. Today, I go to take the mail down and when I get back I have a message on my desk. The name looks slightly familiar in that, you know this girl but she has a different last name now type of way.

The song lyric stating sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name, well, depending on where I go, is what I get called, same for B as I'm calling her as I don't want to name her in my blog w/out her permission, how rude!

***
I get back from the on the sly ciggie break and see the message and go.. mm, and call it goes this way.

B: Jenn! Did you write a book?
I immediately know this is the B who I thought.. *grins*
Jenn: Yeah, girl!
*pauses* She and I and a few other girls all played summer softball under the aegis of a coach who while HE didn't drink like Walter Matthau's character in Bad News Bears, our winning streak was just as sucky. On further thought, if he did drink, we drove him to it. Crap, that's fine, but we aren't paying for any of his expenses.. I mean it. I shall blame T. and maybe P. Back to the convo..

B: OMG! You did NOT!
Jenn: OMG I did TOO!
B: Did NOT
Jenn: Did TOO! *snorts*
variations on I cannot believe THIS!! and then the story of L. ,who got her autographed copy and apparently smugged about it at her cuz J., who is also B's cuz, and came to tell HER. (do I need to draw a diagram? Or would a family tree help?)
B: Are you having a signing, where can I buy it?
Jenn: Well urm, online is all I know of right now as ze Book Nazi has stonewalled me for now. I'm working on a signing, but I was in the town paper here.
B: Oh yeah? We'll see about that, you must come to our parish!! I'll call you back in a minute k? It is ok if I call the paper, right?
Jenn: Well yes OMG you know I don't care..


Shut up, we do talk this way, it's just er.. oh shut UP!

Minutes pass during which time co-worker is giving me the 'share the drugs you stingy heifer' look. I ignore her, I don't share my drugs *sips drug of choice, which is Diet Pepsi* She can't have any, as she is now the Diabetic Diva and it will make her cankles swell, and we'll have to cut off her foot (her words, swear)

B calls back: I called the gazette, I called so and so and oh yeah, the Monroe paper and well, I called this bookstore and asked them to order my book. They say, no prob and when I mentioned you are a local author, they said they'd be happy to do a signing..

*blinks* Exsqueeze me? B? you are the promo queen! All my work done for me in one short phone call? Can I marry you.. ok, no wait.. I know! I shall blog you and immortalize you in print forevermore! Well, at least your first initial, but if you see this, honey, you know who you are, thanks soo soo much!

From one Southern Belle to another.. Thanks again and Yeeehaw!

I do some of my own promoing though, honest!! The tentative date for the booksigning here in Strop City is June 15 from 5pm to 7pm. But, I'm not the surest on that.

Jenn
Who thanks God she's a country girl!

Five Cup Review from Coffee Time Romance!!

Good to the last drop.
Ahh, nothing like a cup of coffee is there?
Well, only if it is FIVE CUPS! Yes, that's five out of five cups of coffee for Braless!! Whoohoo! I'm so happy. Thanks so much to the lovely reviewer, Wateena for having the wacky sense of humor to 'get' my own form of insanity. I've attached the link to CTR to her name and signature line. I hope you all have as wonderful day as I am right now.

BRALESS IN A BUICK
JENNA LEIGH
ISBN:1-897261-50-0/ 1-897261-60-8
April 2006Champagne Books
www.champagnebooks.com
E-book/Paperback$4.50/$8.95
122 PageRomantic Comedy
Rating: 5 cups

Allie Stephenson is a divorced mother with one son, MJ, and lives in a cul-de-sac near all of her busy-body friends. Allie has a passion for chocolate and sexy fantasies that include a man name Nikko, except the fantasy changed when Allie meets her sexy new neighbor Jake Donally. Uh, her fantasies, that is, not her chocolate. Now Jake is the star of her fantasies. Allie wonders if she can get him to make those real.

Jake Donally is an FBI agent looking into the financial background of Allie Stephenson’s ex husband. He has to find out if Allie is involved. So he goes undercover and moveds into her neighborhood right behind her house. But Jake finds Allie has absolutely nothing to hide. What you see with Allie is what you get, literally. Jack finds Allie very attractive and wants to get to know her better, and not just for the case.

As Jake and Allie become closer, Jake realizes one thing: Allie is not involved, but as this case gets deeper, Allie’s ex husband suddenly wants the laptop he gave his son for his birthday present last year. After a few run ins with her ex, Allie is concerned that her husband is up to something, but what? Jake is close to closing the case. Then he would be able to tell Allie how he feels. But would Allie want him after he tells her he has also lied to her?

A rip roaring, tickling good time is what you get when you read this book. From tender moments to moms gone wild, you will be so entertained by this tale, you will have tears streaming down your face. Exceptionally written characters with history, and some very interesting secondary characters with no history, keep this story alive with their meddling, caring, and snippy dialogue. Some happenings are so realistic, every woman who has been there will surely love it. For a good laugh and an extraordinary good time, this is a must read.

Wateena
Reviewer For Coffee Time Romance
Reviewer For Karen Find Out About New Books

Jenna Leigh the insanely happy author.

PS: Hubby got his book cover today, coming soon to a blog near you. The Michelangelo Blues

X3 or Half Nekkie Hugh

So, hubby, daughter, niece and I went to see X3. While, I will confess that a certain hunka manly fineness did get me up, dressed and going, I also enjoy the movie franchise very much indeed. The X-men was THE comic I always bought as a kid. I loved the fact that the women were strong, and the men (er.. Wolverine sigh) were not too shabby either.

Despite growing up and out of this phase, I will still watch just about any comic book based movie, for the simple reason that.. those men look GOOD in them tights. And Hugh Jackman looks good in anything, but would look better in my house, doing the floors or somethin. *pauses for a mo* Ok, moving on, *coughs* I may need a cold shower.

Ok, now I'm back and I have my hair wrapped up in a towel, so I won't drip on the keyboard. I can't promise not to drool, but hey, it's all good right?

First: The trailors before the movie.. one is OMG, it's GHOSTRIDER! I LOVED this frickin character, always have. Hubby is in the toilet, doin a last minute tinkle prior to his long sitting spell in front of the big screen. I go crap, he's missing it! Then I feel it, the large hand pressing on my shoulder as he practically falls into his seat and takes my hand. He looks like a kid on Christmas morning. I'm just damn happy its Nicholas Cage as the lead role. I like me some Nick oh yeah. But, this rocks!

Now onto the Movie! I tried to do no spoilers.. but eh, read at your own risk:


The story is this. Jean's dead.. (WOLVIE IS MINE MOOUAHAHA *blinks*) Scot neglects to shave or ew, wash his hair. I know this because he is on a motorcycle and his hair don't move. That is seriously grody. Anyhoo, the thing is, the bitch is back, and she has some sort of psychic PMS or something cause she's horney one minute and evil the next. This doesn't bother me, I can relate to that sort of mood swing. Unfortunately, so can hubby, all too well.

There is a flashback scene when Jean was a lil brat, Xavier and Magneto look really young and out of focus. It also shows that these two were really good friends and still are in some ways. However, my fav moments are when the blue dude comes onto the screen. Yep, Frasier Krane kicks ASS as The Beast aka Hank. He opens his mouth and does that "I am geek, hear me roar!!" thing that just makes you go HELL YEAH, I WANT TO BE A MUTANT! Then the reality of waxing blue fur off all your body sets in and you go eh.

Speaking of hair. If the Phoenix is such a badass bitch she should be able to nab some hairdresser to do a color correction on that shit. I swear it looked really bad, and she never catches fire. I was not amused, I wanted the witch to burn, but she doesn't. She is good though, in that tormented dual personality sort of way.

Mystique rocks, as always. I'm very impressed with VS Model girl. She looks good in blue latex (why blue? All the mutants are blue. Is green paint toxic? If so, put some on that damn Jean Grey!) and kicks serious bootay. She's the ho of Magneto though, so pah to her.

The movie intro'd some new characters. The big dude, Jugernaut. (he is Xavier's bro yall know.. yall didn't? Mm, comic book geekdom is contagioius) I have to give him props. FINALLY someone bitch bout a lack of toiliets. He asks, "Are ye gonna let me out? I have ta take a piss!" Yeah!! Whoohoo, Mutants pee!

The Iceman finally cometh (GO BOBBY!) Shadowcat rocks as a teenager, really good. And Rogue? Hell, she needs color correction too. Collosses is hawt.. big boy, steel wank, possiblities there. Magneto et all are always deep, complicated villains that you can't be totally for or against. He's a former Holocaust victim, who is terrified of going back to a camp. Xavier is a goodie two shoes and well.. bad things happen to good peeps is all I'm saying bout that.

But, the movie features Storm (Halle Berry who is on MY freebie list, yes, that one, sheesh!) and of course, Wolverine. Which brings me back to Hugh.. Just wow. We watched the credits, hubby bitched bout how many there were, but I want to one day see my name up there. Hugh's Package Handler, Pec Inspecter, Bun Squeezer, all of the above. Just damn!


Jenna
A serious Mutie Lover and she don't want THE CURE!

PS: If you haven't seen the movie yet, here's a piece of advice. Stay for the entire movie, after all those credits, all them damn wings specials, fur pickers, RonJoho's lucky body painters(who probably have to take the anti-Viagra or something) After allll that, there is a sooprise at the very very end. Boom!

Happy Birthday to the Meems

Yes, it was yesterday, however, that doesn't mean I can't take a day to decide just how to put here, how much this woman means to me. The picture above represents air. This is one of the elemental things that I don't really understand. I've been told I'm a king, I'm water and all that, which basically means, I'm a bossy bitch that cries alot.

However, Meems, is something else altogether. To me at least, she's airy, full of light and strong of purpose. She's different than me in so many ways, yet, from experience, I know she meshes with me almost seamlessly in writing, chatting and most every day life type things.

Her ponderous thoughts on Pooh, Pancakes, Pagans and other things are always fun, witty and full of the best of her humor and kindness. She doesn't take offense easily, however, she can 'git ill' as the old sayin goes, when called for, especially in defense of a friend. She calls her writing drivel, but in the best possible way. (it's good, hot and steamy shut UP MEEMS!!) Mine's dreck, her's drivel, another's is crap, it's all good and it works for us, so eh.

So, she's another year older, more than like wiser, unlike myself. I love that she sees her life as a path, a journey and seems to look forward to whatever is around the next bend. From the Watergirl to the AirQueen.. today, yesterday and tomorrow shall are all Meme days, for all time, the best friend, the sweetest, the kindest, and the biggest of hearts. Love you Meems, and you're big old Pooh too.

Jenn
Still the King

Brush with Celebrity? Naw

Go to this link and see my interview
Bastrop Daily Enterprise

And, yes, it's Friday!!! Wohooo!! I am so glad! *throwing the Weekend Gods Chocy Wrappers!* Make it last a loonnnggg time.


Jenna Leigh
Friday Goddess

Trying to do something.. hopefully

Crossing my fingers

I can feel it comin in the air tonight.. so, hold on.

Phil Collins may not have been speaking of what I am, but like a bloodhound, I can pick up the scent, the vibe, the very aura of the coming weekend. My ears perk, my eyes sparkle, other parts...


.. I'm not tellin yall that, you dirty monkeys. And yes, I do see you. I have a webcam that goes in reverse.. MOOOHAHAHAH!

Anyways, I of course, speak of the weekend. The beauty of a Friday after you've gotten off work cannot be overexposed in my opinion.


I love them, I live for them. Fridays are the things that a writer's dreams are made of. Screw wantin a Sunday kinda love. I want that Friday Night Fandango to last and last and last. The Big Red of Weekends is my fantasy.

McHottyHeyheyhey! is another. He's the loose inspiration of my the hero in my WIP. I love Mack. He's a little bit of a redneck (mmm, surprised? naw) rough around the edges, not too pretty, but, hell, he's hot! I like that pic of Matthew because his hair looks darker. *mutters something about the lack of shirt having a bit to do with it..cough cough cough* Dang, sorry there was a hunk a something in my throat. Probably the site of the beefcake, but I'm not admittin to a thing.

I hope all of you are enjoying your Humpday.. but, just remember, tomorrow is Friday Eve.. get your weekend stuff all lined up early so you too can enjoy it!

Jenna
The Self Elected President of the I love Friday Club. I'll be a good prez, and can only be bribed with the finest of chocy. It goes in my presidential cabinet dontcha know?

P.S. Yall shut up, I can say I'm the prez if I want, you shoulda thought of it first. What? Fine, then I shall be Jennzilla, the Friday Goddess.. wohoooooo!!!
Do the Friday Fandango!! *shakin butt*

Nobody expects the Southern Inquisition

Good thing, cause that's not what I got. She was very sweet and knows my hubby. The poor lady. She did threaten him with news of their 20 yr high school reunion though. And don't think I didn't run back to crow it at him and my coworker who were both in the same graduating class. The Mouahahhaa's did fly and the pointing and buttshaking and singing "olllder than meeeee." did happen, I'll admit it.

I met with this sweet lady today for an interview. *gasps* Yes, me. I am newsworthy, and unlike some lovely relations I could name (but won't, the list would be waaay too long, you know who ya are!) I didn't have to get arrested. (nobody saw the buttshaking but hubby and coworker, so therefore, it didn't count)

The interview will appear in the Bastrop Daily Enterprise, which is our town's daily paper. I am a little shocked about it, if you want to know the truth. Me, in the paper.

I used to write for our monthly gazette in highschool. I got mine and my interviewee's picture in the paper, standing next to a pine tree too. The subject of the indepth, hard edged article was, the pine beetle and it's effect on region's main industry, which is logging. Yes, I turned down that prime slot on 20/20 to live in high redneck style yall.

Funny thing was, people thought it was one of those engagement pictures. LOL! Yes, we both laughed, his wife hooted as he was about 20 years older than me. My mother thought it was cute. I thought, ew, old dude, ew.

Anyway, I'm no stranger to the interview process. However, I've always been on the Q side of the Q and A. I'm not sure I'm too comfy with being an A lister right now. Then again, at least they didn't ask me about the time I... *pauses* Well, yall don't need to know about that. Trust me, ya don't. This is for the best, that way, you won't be called in as material witnesses.




More info to come!!

Jenna Leigh


I'm not a kook
What is the statute of limitations on insanity?

Hunks, Chupacabras and demons. Oh my? Erm..

And, actually, my WIP isn't a paranormal. It's a comedy. Which, brings me to the main topic of my blog. If you can make people laugh about a bloodsucking goat, you may be in the write (pun intended) line of work.

So what happens when two former sweethearts get stranded together on a small island off the coast of Mexico after they've been separated for over two decades? Life hasn't been smooth sailing but both have done ok. Gillian moved up north and is enjoying minor celebrity as a tv chef and Mack owns a construction company and still lives in their old home town. Both got married and have a kid each, but both are now single again. However, the real question is, are either ready to meet up and try to reignite the fires that never really burned out? Or will this be a case of the survival of the meanest. If so, Mack may be in trouble, cause nobody ever accused Gillian of bein the sweetest peach on the tree.

The title is a work in progress as well, I'll be keepin it under my hat until my editor and publisher actually say yes. So far, I love it, it's funny, sweet, sexy and of course, there is the underlying hint of the evil I'm so damn good at for some odd reason. I have no idea why that is. I'm the nicest person, honestly, really, seriously! Stop laughing!



Oh, shut up, I hear you still laughing! Yes you! Over there in the corner. I can see you you know. I spy with my evil eye.. MOUAHAHAHAHAHAH

Jenna

11,700 / 30,000 (39.0%)

Blog blog blog blog blog blog blog

BLOG!

Anyhoo, I'm bloggin so I don't have to actually write something. Sneaky huh? I am Write-no-chaptah Queen of Denial. Yes, I'm being productive, I'm typin away in here, putting things down on the 'paper' as it were. Uh huh, wohoo, yes, oh yes!

Actually, I am about to write, finally at the 'fun' part of my WIP. I am loving this story. Perhaps because the heroine I have this time is so close to home for many women out there. She's over *gasps* 35 years old. She has a grown child and she's wondering what she should do with the rest of her life. And she's hoping Menopause will be visiting her house soon.

Life is messy, fun, and so full of surpises though. When the Goddess of Insanity (that's me in this case) puts in her two cents or 30k's worth of words, you just never know what can happen. It could be that she will find the love of her life, however, she will have to get through a lot of bs to see the light.

As to the hero? He's just wonderin' what the hell happened. How did he get left with a short, mean little woman that left him hanging over 20 years ago? Can he manage to get past the anger to see that maybe, just maybe there's something left to the feelings from the past.

Mm, if I get off my ass and get busy, we'll both find out huh?

So, as I watch Will and Grace's last episode out of the corner of my eye, and sit in a cyber room with a friend that's watching CSI out of the corner of hers. Both of us writing and both of us wondering what the hell are we doing? Are we actually authors editing our MS's for publication? Or is this all a dream? And if it's a dream, are we the dreamers or the dream itself.

Hell, I've gone all loopy and weird. I'm pretty sure that some chocy will cure me of my philosophical bent. If not, well, hell, who cares? It's chocy!!!!


Love ya,
Jenna

PS.. yall thought I forgot huh? TOMORROW'S FRIDAY!!!!WHOOHOO *doing the Friday Fandango baby!*

Insanity and the Restaurant Rant

So, Friday was not a good day for me. I came home early from work and went to sleep on the couch until it was time to get the kidlet from school and head to the big city (snort) to get hubby's comix and some things from the grocery store. His cheese, to be specific. Hubby has this strange addiction to cheese that cannot be explained by normal piggishness.

Anyway, I didn't wake up well at all. I was disoriented, angry and plain mean with it. Like a bear right out of hibernation, if you must know. I wanted to bite and rend and tear people to shreds, starting with my poor innocent hubby. He just looked bewildered, hell, I felt bewildered.

I'm going to be optimistic and blame it on the change that is surely looming on the horizon. Dammit, it's been more than 20 years, I want a gold watch! I want to retire from bein a 'girl' as my coworker puts it. Hell with that, I want it to all just go away. Like the bills to music and book clubs you regret joining and can't get out of, like a freakin cult. Hotel California, in the form of literary and musical entrapment. 1cent for five hundred CD's.. you can check out any time you like, but you can nevah leaaave!!

*blinks* Where was I? Oh, yes. Anyways, I open my eyes and yell that he must see his family visiting from out of state. I am most insistent about it, to the point where he begins to back away. I fix my coffee and get in the back seat.. so daughter can drive. *gack* I rant the whole entire way to town.. during town.. in town.. in Hellmouth (that is nothing new, but a diff rant entirely) and out.

He goes to that terribly nasty chicken finger place that just opened, and I rant about that too. Them chicken strips taste like crap. No seasoning (in comparison to the Popeye's *drool*) and the sides are limited to greazy crinkle cut french fries *ew* cole slaw *double ew* and some rank nasty sauce. These last two things are mayo based. I despise mayo unless I am the one applying it to some sort of salad aka tater, chicken, tuna etc. Then and ONLY then will I deal with it. Otherwise, it's the devil's own tool to give you salmonella. Anyways, so, he goes there, which pisses me off. I go to places that we both like, and he LOVES this place, so he goes, it's fine. It's also new and it will wear off eventually, I know this as well. I'm ok with it.

He's getting me a hair cut for Mother's Day.. sweeet.. then he gets all huffy cause he has to wait.. pfth. I get the cut (love it!!) and want to go to a sandwich place to get somethin to eat. He has said, he's buying me this then, balks at it.. one more pissed off nail in the nookie coffin for you bud.

I go into this place, hubby is right behind me, amazon daughter looms over my shoulder. She won't miss an opportunity to get some out of the house food, no matter than she's already eaten. Well, hubby goes to the car, still angry that I've got NO hair.. *snickers*

Which brings me to my problem... yes FINALLY!! Hush..

I get to the counter. "Hi, can I get you something?" First off, I'm in here, I'm looking at the menu, duh, dumbass.. yes, I'm just here to soak up the atmosphere and sniff the food. *rolls eyes* However, he keeps talking, and I mean, he never shuts up. I don't understand one word in three what he says.. He asks if it's to go. I let my daughter order first and just watch him. He's scaring the crap out of me. He's strange, I mean smokin crack on the break strange.

He asks, is this together? Yes.. Is yours (daughter's) to go? yes.. Is yours (me) to go? Well no shit Sherlock! They're together, and if one is to go, both are! *takes a realllly deep breath* He still keeps talkin.. I wonder if he has Tourette's which makes me feel bad for getting pissed off. Then I realize, he don't have it, he's just et up w/the dumbass as my mama would say.

I tell him my order, (steak sannie w/the addition of avacado) he blinks at me. We don't have avacado... I point and inform him he does.. he laughs at me and informs me that guacamole is NOT avacado. I say, then what is it? I realize that there are recipes that make guacamole from English peas (ew) and/or asparagus, so I ask, as thats some good shit and if so, I'm having it from those things. He informs me its made of guacamole.

Dear God in heaven, he's out his damned mind. I tell him that yes, guacamole is made from avacados. He doesn't believe me. And then, he gets all freaked that I want it on my sandwich. I mean totally freaked. I say, hey, if it's extra, I'm happy to pay, no prob. He goes no no it's just weird. You're weird. I let that slide.. and say, this, Is the soup.. he interrupts me NO! rudely.. LOL.

Exsqueeze me? Look, asshole, you put that freakin sannie through this glorified pizza oven and when it gets to the other side, you slather it up w/the avacado stuff and then you put it in the bag, got it? And, give me a cup of broc/cheese soup, pronto! He still talks not quite under his breath the WHOLE TIME! Momo has backed away, sensing the imminent eruption of Mamalava that is bout to happen.

He's still talkin, putting the sannies together, but still just continuously talking. Hubby's in the car, too far for me to call in for the purposes of intimidation. I am aware that I don't look scary. I'm short, plump and for some reason, people think me cute and sweet til they get to know me *weg*

Finally, they get my stuff in the bag. He laughs and slides the cup of soup in there too. The cashier gives him a strange look and I pity her for having to deal with him all freakin day. HA! We are going down the road.. I leave my soup in the bag, as that's shit's hot... usually.. when I've eaten half my sannie and felt I've given it long enough to cool, I take it out.. it is ICE COLD!

We are too far away to go back. Rest assured, WE would have. I would have stormed the gates of that place, pulled that crack addict out from behind that counter and beat the dog sh*t out of him for daring to mess with me and more importanly, my food. However, do not think, I won't stop back in there this coming Friday and lodge a complaint. He was rude, stoned, and just plain aggravating. Screwing with a redneck girl's food is one of the seven deadly sins... deadly to HIM that is.

Jenn
Killer of Crackheads

P.S. I won't name the damn restaurant, but those dead gerbils would have been less of an aggravation than this twinkie.

That river in S. America? NOPE the other Amazon

Whoho! Yeah baby yeah. I'm on Amazon! To me, a person that shops there so often, this is sort of a sign that I'm for real now. I realize that this doesn't mean that people will buy it. Although, I must say, it has one lovely review already. Penned by a lovely, sweet, caring individual who I will not name, except to say that she is a closet mushy girl. I have discussed this with others and we feel she will remain in this closet so she can admire her shoe collection. Or, if nothing else, catelog them into their different shades according to the color chart she printed out, which correlated with her birth sign. *snorts* The Glamazon and her amazing powers of organization are all but a smoke screen to hide what is by and large and soft and caring heart. I love you Glamazon, and your lil shoes too.

Jenna,
who goes barefoot so she won't have to compete for shoes with the Pedi-predator

Mother's day is coming up

Yep a plug, shameless one at that. If you wanna get your mother a wonderful present, how bout a story about how one mom who has given up on having a life, marriage, and half the human race, in other words men, but then finds love after all.

In other words, give mom a great story that will make her grumble, gasp and most of all grin. Braless in the Buick will do just that from beginning to end and everything in between.

Pick it up at these fine cyber stores.

Fictionwise
Champagne Books
Coffe Time Romance's New Bookstore!! It's a bestseller there! Yaaay!

Yall have a good one!

Jenna Leigh

Me Techno Wizard, unga munga

Capt'n Cavewoman? yeah, whatever.. I have triumphed, I knew I would.. Sighs.. all in the name of getting this pic up, grrr

A Long and Winding Ramble on .. comics?

Anita Blake in the funny pages!! How very cool is THAT? Ok, not the funny papers, I mean come on, this is the queen of the night we're talkin here. She raises the dead, dates vamps (hot ones ..*drool*) and works for the cops on murder cases which are usually messy. But, she is getting her own comic, which makes me go weeee!!

Also making me go weee is that hubby got it for me without even telling me about it. What I mean is, that he put it on his order list at Clint's Comics where he visits weekly. He just 'knew' I'd love it. Which, is why I love him you know. I want this comic! It looks great, the cover and pages I've seen. I can't wait! LKH seems pleased with it as well, which is really good. If the author likes it, then, hey, I am probably gonna like it too. However, I will let you in on a secret. I don't care as much about the stories in comics, it's the art that always draws my little magpie eye.


Yes, a list and a rant, the two things always seem to go together for me. At least, I organize my rants in list form as opposed to free form flowing rant rivers that wind through the banks of bitchitude with no real destination in mind. Unlike those, I do have a destination, it would be avoiding writing on my WIP called Gillian's Island. You don't want to hear about that tho, right? Right.. on w/the rant.


Comics/characters I like or in some cases, dislike.

Certain books have caught my fancy over the years of living w/my hubby the King of comic geekhood, some of which are:

Fathom
Witchblade
Magdalena
Taboo

For the art, you see, those comic guys can draw some BEAUTIFUL girls. (see the pic) they're all athletic, but they got curves. Big gravity defying boobs too, but hell, if I could, I'd make MINE look like that, so I aint gonna complain.. much. *glares at the artist known as hubby* HE draws the boobs that way too. This is fine, if I want him to, he'll draw a pick of ME w/the boobies like that. Gravity, ha! I laugh in the face of your dastardly wicked evilness! Who needs reality right? *thumbing nose at them both*


Now, let's hear it for the boys...

Darkness : Hot boy that works well in the dark. *weg* Jackie's droolworthy, and I'm sure the sex would be hotter than hell, I mean, come on, he has demon servant type thingits. I'd never have to do the laundry again. However, I bet those lil bastards aint litter trained.. hellishly stinky doodie all over the house.. er.. no, no, Jackie, sorry.

Deadpool:Love that guy, at least I did when he was a smartass. I'm not sure, but I think Deadpool is now serious and angsty like all protagonist heroes. Before, he just didn't give a flip about anything except a sitting in his lay z boy in his boxers with a beer and the TV.. he thought they called it a boob tube for a reason, to give you a hint as to what he watched. Blessed be the powers of cable, amen and all that. He's all up in the saving the world business now, unlike his mercenary, halfassed tude of the old days, which, sorry, makes him my fave anti-hero of all time.

Unlike, Wolverine who always tries to do good, to go against his animalistic urges when hell, he's hotter than a whore in church on Sunday. The comic dudes need to plumb this man's untapped sex appeal, but they're too scared, it seems. Unlike say, Angela Knight and other writers of romantic prose (smurt.. hee hee love it I do) about the Alpha Male, these guys keep him on the downlow. Plus, Hugh Freakin Hotty Jackman plays him in the movies, and just DAYAM!!

They push his sort to the back so duds (not a typo!) can come to the forefront in all their All-American, Star Quarterback, I was hall monitor for 4 yrs running, Boyscout glory and steal the show. Let's see, how about...

Cyclops--Nothing more American than apple pie (boring as hell too) Even Capt. America is more hip that this twinkie who is just so processed that he is like the spam of beefcake or something.. fah. He can HAVE Jean oh so boring Grey I like her better as Phoenix anyways!

Professor X-- Yeah, yeah, he's smart but COME ON PEOPLE! he has a hover-round. I mean, seriously, the dude's rich and all, but Anna Nicole got jackshit for that sort of rellie, and HER boobs do stand up like the comic vixens. Even more importantly, do they make Viagra for Mutants? I think.. no. Yet they keep him in the spotlight and put my Wolvie in the shadows. *sniffles* How bout Professor's nemesis, Magneto? Maybe.. he's er.. I bet he's kinky as hell.

Superman-- *blink blink blink* In my opinion, they have downplayed that whole Man Of Steel thing waaayyy too much. Unless he looks like Tom Welling,(Steelcake? Buns of Steel?) then, I will only say this: "Bow down before Jenn, son of Jor-El!" and leave the rest in my imagination where it belongs and can't get me arrested.

Batman-- Sux! Gadgets, nice lips, all that, and just they waste it. gah! And that Robin seriously cramps his style.. fffth. Not mentioning Batgirl, not not not!!

Spidey-- He's been 22 for like EVER.. ew. GROW UP!! and keep your freaky spider webs to yourself. Ick, spiders, ick.


Jethro, puleeze! Girls like the bad boy, the loner, the dude in black. Make him the hero of your comic and the estrogen carriers will flood the comic stores, making them all smell much better in the least and at worst, comic boys get to scope out the chicks. Real ones, that you know, won't give you papercuts during sex. *weg* So.. artboys, give us a hot piece of beefcake we girls can sink our teeth into !!!

Erm... that's it, I guess. Except to say, if I've offended any other comic lovers, I'm not sorry. This is my opinion, and as this is America, I can express it. However, don't be sending any deathrays and crap down here at me, as I have my own rather large and intimidating comic dude in residence. He' s mean, evil, wickedly intelligent and will protect the maker of the best pot roast in the world with his last breath. *grins* If that isn't bad enough, I do have a teenager. Yeah, reality is scarier than fiction in some cases..


Not bad, just drawn that way...

Jenna Leigh
Who is insane, bored and angry at Yahoo for killing off the groups for the past few days. Ya'll best fix it, else we will rise up and be all mean to you and some junk. I believe I've illustrated my abilities in this and previous blogs.

WOW!!!!

In paperback! OMG! My name on a cover of a book, in paperback. Wow! and it's BEEEEEYOOOTEEFULL! (spelling on this blog does not represent that found in the works of Jenna Leigh *snorts*)

Anyways, if you'd like to buy it, either in PDF to download or as a paperback, you can go to a very new and oh so wonderful place and do so..

Yep, Coffee Time Romance now has a book store on their site. I love it! I hope this is only the beginning of a wonderful relationship with my publisher, Champagne. To all my friends and family that supported me, my co-workers especially, a great big fat chocy covered ....

THANK YOU!!

Jenna Leigh

Brought to you by the Not Ready for Prime Time Writer

Alrighty, I got some news today that makes me a little nervous. I may be on *gulps* television. It is to plug my book, I'm happy to do that, however, I'm not the sort of person that does well in a setting where I get nervous. What if it's live and I fall off the chair, or you know, go off on a Springer-worthy rant that makes the censors flip out and have heart attacks? Can I live with that on my conscience? Ok, yes, censors, maybe, but my mother having a hissy fit? NO! Even more scary is the thought that as of today, my book goes on sale. *blinks*

Another horrific thought just occurred to me. Next month is my family reunion. They're going to be nice to me, I just know it. OMG! What am I gonna do? I won't know how to act!!! OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!

*takes a deep breath*

Ok, I'm calm. Despite the fact that I've mined that particular genetic pool for many of my sly and witty bon mots, angst, and insane sort of scenarios, I do love my family. In the way you love that scary tiger in the cage at the zoo. Yeah, you guessed it, from a distance of at least 12 feet and behind bars. Them, not me. I don't do iron bars, never have, unlike some of my relatives on both sides of the family. Why you ask? Why sugah, I'm way too sneaky to get caught. *winks*

I shot the Monday.. but the weekend is safe from me

Jenna Leigh
Insane in the Membrane