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Join Jenna Leigh, and J. Morgan author of 'The Michelangelo Blues' from Triskelion Publishing, as they heat up the Internet with excerpts from their books, prizes, and more!!

For Joe

I've already lost my grandparents.. maternal and paternal, however, one lone person stepped in to fill the void, and did so admirably for a very long time, and his name was simply, Joe. Not papaw, grandpaw, or any other moniker for me, as I had all those in the past, just a simple Joe would do. After his wife of many years passed away, he began that slow slide into old age that we all saw but chose to ignore in favor of believing he'd live forever, despite his own protests and yes, wishes to the contrary.

I knew he loved her and missed her very much indeed. He lived in that house without her to fuss and fight with him for seven long and lonely years and I knew it was hard, but he did it for one reason: grandkids. Wait, let me clarify, great-grandkids. The babies, the little ones and up until a few months ago, you could just say, the girls, then my hubby's brother finally broke the curse and made a little boy.

So, after drifting along in a life that must have seemed half full, made only brighter by the visits of the children of his grandchildren, and yes, the most recent addition to the family by his own son, Joe somehow kept his cheerful demeanor around him. I knew he missed her, as he'd tell us. I knew he felt his time was nearing an end, as he informed me of this when he had an xray during his last hospital stay. His "I'm bout ready for the boneyard." was met with a, "Aw, Joe, don't say that." by me and a hug. But, somehow, I felt he meant it this time.

With him, I've seen my own child have contact with someone who is older and wiser and she's learned patience. She's very good with the elderly,and I'm proud of her. With him, I've seen that old age is a sly and steathly thing that slips up on you without you really knowing it's happening until it's too late to do anything about it but sit there in your chair and let it run its course. With him, I've learned that heredity is alive and well and you'll reap what you've sown in the form of your grandchildren. One took him for long rides, another is shy and quiet, yet another is stoic, and all, including my husband are remarkably good with children.

I know that looking into his face, hearing his soft, time-worn voice, and even hisstoop-shouldered shuffle are like stepping into a time-machine and going into the future fifty years to have a gander at my husband. To look at Joe, his own son and my hubby and his brothers from the back was like looking at the same man, at 20 year intervals, spooky and strangely comforting. Like some cosmic continuity was in place, a greater hand at work, Father Time maybe? I don't know.

However, the most wonderful gift that I have from Joe, is my husband himself, for I know he got his honor, his heart and his patience from the man that used to sit in the chair and play school for hours on end with a bossy little girl. And allow that same bossy little girl to put stickers and glitter on his face. That man, will always be our Joe, and one day, I know he'll be my Bill too. Until then, I'll miss him.




Love ya,

Jenna Leigh

Oh, why the picture? Well, I'd like to think that he's up there with MY pawpaw, and right about now, fishin'. Maybe their wives are fussin at them about it too, as it should be, like it was, when they were all here, as matched sets.

Five Ribbons from Romance Junkies for Spellfire Moons!

I'm so psyched! And,yes, still psycho, it is still Monday, after all.





HIGH CHAIRS AND HIGH STAKES is a brilliant story. The baby, Aurora, is adorable. While reading this story I could see it playing on a movie screen in my head. I laughed at Aurora’s baby antics. Matthias and Erin are two people made for each other, their love helped them to over come the evil that was threatening their lives and happiness. Shayla--Romance Junkies

To read the rest, click on the banner below.



Yeehaw!



Jenna Leigh

Nanowrimo

No not Nano nano .. but National Novel Writing Month. You see if you can write 50,000 words in the month of November. I'm using it as a motivational tool to write Dateless. Yes, I know I've written on it.. However, I found out it supposed to be BIGGER. No, that's not a bad thing. Giving me a bigger yard to play in is very very good news, so, I'm counting all I have from this day forward and by then, it'll be 50,000 words. Will I win? I dunno, I mean I did write 50K last year, and submitted it. And after edits, and additions, that novel, The Wolf's Heart was accepted by Samhain Publishing (SQUEEE!) However, this year I have edits to do on, that novel and The Wyvern with Champagne Books and The Moon of Tigre with Midnight Showcase etc.. Hmmm, but the real IMPORTANT question is: Will I beat Glamazon, Sgt. Brie and all the rest of my friends? *rubs hands together* Oh, I hope so.. muhahahahahahahhahah!

Signed
Jenna Leigh
aka
Mad Cow Chocy Voodoo

Spellfire Moons Makes a Joyful Noise on the Review Front

High Chairs and High Stakes takes a fun loving good witch and teams her with a vampire, just awoken from a deep sleep that is still trying to learn about life in this new century. Erin and Matthias burn right off the pages, and when you add cutie Aurora it makes a simply wonderful threesome against the coven. Erin just doesn't take herself seriously, but she does take keeping those she cares about safe very seriously, and shows Matthias that life can have the fun parts too. Matthias, sexy, British and a vampire who has an adorable little girl that he adores --I just can't add to that. And what he does with that voice to earn a living...well you will just have to read the book, but it made me laugh out loud being both perfect and unexpected. I was laughing and cheering for them from the start to the end. Ms. Leigh has given the vampire story a new voice and let the humor come out in it. I already plan on re-reading this story several times.



Oooh, they like me..they really like me!! *grins* Thanks so much Joyfully Reviewed!!


To read what the wonderful and wise, Jo has to say about all the Spellfire Ladies, go here
Joyfully Reviewed



And tomorrow is Friday, too, wow, it can't get any better than this yall!!
Squeee!

Doin the Redneck Rhumbah,

Jenna Leigh

At Last My Muse Has Come Along

And I jumped on that horsie and rode like there was no tomorrow. Ok, so I mixed a song, and a metaphor and I basically called my muse a jackass. And you wonder why she doesn't visit often despite my offerings of chocolate, coffee and various southern fried foods.

Other authors will say write something no matter what, and I usually do too, but lately, I haven't been able to stay awake long enough to write much more than my name, let along a complete sentence, so I didn't even bother. However, last night, I sat down and well.. IT happened. I'm attributing it to my lovely vacation time spent in New Orleans, hence the picture. *grins*

Sometimes, it's like little people get together in my brain and begin to knit these bits and pieces of stories together into a something that I can turn in, like a craft project to my editor and publisher with a "See? I did it, I made this." I feel like a little kid home from camp, proudly showing something to their mom and dad. That I did have a productive time while away.. I can almost hear the tiny needles clacking together and the wee people talking back and forth as they decide that the heroine will do this so the hero will do that. And if it's a comedy, well, someone will very soon be acting like a complete and utter idiot. I'm rather good at writing one of those sorts of characters, you know, for some odd reason. Hmm, I wonder why?

Sharlene and Cade are FBI agents, but that doesn't rule out a bit of insanity now and then. Oh when the chips are down, don't think they can't and won't kick butt, in fact, if I'm not mistaken, Sharlene can kick it better than both her male counterparts and they know it.

I always try and make my characters real.. most of the time I just make them real mean and crazy, especially the women, but I like to keep them lovably so, I hope I succeed with Sharlene and Cade..

So, here's an excerpt that shows the women of Peony Heights aka The Neighborhood Inquisition and the men who fear..er, love them.

Unedited Excerpt of Dateless in the Dodge

Cade, Patrick, and Doug huddled around the window of the Secret Hideout watching the strange happenings in the yard. "Hmm." Patrick squinted. "I didn't know Merry could kick her leg that high. She's been holdin' out on me, the little dickens."

A small creak heralded the arrival of Frank. "I knew Dana could, which is why I'm coming in the back way. She gets a bit antsy after those workouts."

"Aw, poor Frank." Doug laughed. "Barely a moment's peace."

"Ssh, listen! She's giving them a piece of her mind." Patrick cracked the window.

"Ew!" Sharlene shook her head. "I didn't want him here!"

Who was she talking about? Him, of course.

"But, Shar, he's nice." Allie put her arms around her knees.

Gabby yelled in what seemed to be agreement. Cade smiled at that. At least the baby loved him. Sharlene paced back and forth. Despite her anger, he couldn't help but notice the way her skin glowed from her workout. The sun made her hair shine too. He had it bad. "What we have here is a failure to communicate." She whipped around and paced the other way.

"Is she quoting Cool Hand Luke?" Doug stood and walked to the window.

"Um..."Patrick seemed to be thinking about it. "Yeah."

"I didn't want that man here muckin up my plans. And I have some deep and dark plans the likes of which you have never seen!" She held up one finger.

"What plans?" Neeley's radar went haywire at that.

"I will share these plans with you at the time and place of my choosing." Sharlene put her hands behind her back, her shoulders straight. She looked like the soldier he knew she'd once been.

"When will this be?" Allie ventured to ask.

"When your men folk ain't listening in from the Secret Boy Shack behind me." At that, she whipped her head around and pinned them with a glare.

"Ack!" Patrick screamed.

Gabby's head popped up and she yelled, "Pah!" in a tone that would not be denied.

Doug glared at the offender. "Ah damn, we've been routed by a baby and a blonde FBI agent. This is all your fault, Patrick, you wear too much cologne."

"I do not." But Patrick stomped out of the shed to go down and gather the baby up so they could play with her new pink tool set he'd bought just for her.

Cade frowned. "But, what about Mission Impossible?"

Frank clapped him on the back. "Called on the count of girls."

"Ooh Frank." Dana's dulcet tones rang out across the yard.

"Ha ha! You're busted too." Doug snickered.

"Doug, honey? Did you get the weed eating done yet?"

"You sure you want to get tied down, man?" Doug sighed and walked out of the shed with his shoulders bowed.

May all the chocolate you eat go to your muse's hips..
Jenna Leigh

New Orleans Cont..

I got to talk to Sherrilyn Kenyon!! Yayy! I didn't faint, so I went home and ate some of the chocolate that Ange gave me. Only one piece (ok,four, yall shut UP!) She was so sweet, which is what everyone says, but since it's true, I'll repeat it. She was. Not as sweet as that chocy, but damn close. *licks lips* I may have some of it left. I need to hurry up and finish this dang blog. Go AG!!



This is the pic of Ange as promised. She pretended to be a rabid fan and asked me to sign her copy of my book amid fake squeals. I felt like a Beatle. I signed it Jennzilla. *grins*


Karen on the phone on the way from the airport. Nee and I did not cry, I don't care what they say. *sniffles*

Meme hugging a gator. I hope she didn't contract salmonella.


Please do not attempt this trick at home. I am a professional Po'boy eater. I have eaten big fat sannies all my life. My jaws unhinge at the back, seriously.








The Freaktastic Four at the Hard Rock Cafe`. We had a great time with the rest of the gang. I have pictures but won't post til they say I can. In other words, I have pictures but will keep them for blackmail purposes.

I will say this: I loved New Orleans, my experience with the LaSalle Hotel was nothing but great. The staff was zany, quirky and fun, yet efficient. Meme and I had all the towels and soap we needed, the TV and AC worked (thank you GOD!) and it was clean and well priced.

Everyone in the city was nice to us, they asked us where yall from. The others gave their answers. When I began mine.. they'd stop me. "Hon, we know where you're from.." *pauses* Do yall think that I have an accent? *snort* The only time we had a problem was at House of Blues. The man said you ain't comin out this way, I don't care who ya are. Meme and I gave our puppy eyes and he glared.. then hooted and told us, he was just playin. Then asked where ya from.. again informing me I needn't answer and then asking me if I knew where Springhill and Shreveport was. I do and he seemed delighted.

We even *gasps* went out at night for the Haunted History Tour. Our guide was fun. He told us at no time would a person jump out at us in a mask with a knife as part of a tour. If this happened it was called a mugging and to see him on tips on running and/or screaming and running. This didn't happen of course. I did have to walk with the slightly drunken weenies you see with me below out side of Jean Lafitte's.


My camera was acting up, so here is the only pic that looks half decent from the tour.



I met people that I've known for years, I made new friends, renewed old acquaintances and yes, had a wonderful time. Now, I have go back to work tomorrow. Will I be the same old person? Maybe, but I'll be sure and say that the streets weren't littered with the bodies of the dead. I didn't see any gators, foxes or even rats, I did a dead possum on the side of the road once I got about a mile from MY house. The people didn't steal me blind, they aren't surly, or grumpy or any of that sort of thing.

New Orleans is still struggling in some spots, but what I saw was beautiful and old and mysterious and just plain awe inspiring. I loved it, and I'll go back again at the earliest opportunity I get. I hope you'll give it a try too. We that would be four women and sometimes only two, walked that city in the dark.. we're safe if not sane.

So, don't listen to the rumors, go and see for yourself. Be smart as you would in any large city. I did go into the red light district and ew, not my cup of tea, but I still didn't get mugged or anything. In fact the only person who was spoken to in even a mildly harsh tone was Meme and that was on the phone by *coughs* my mama *coughs* when she answered my cell. LOL!!!

What did you learn in this blog? New Orleans is nominally safe (now that I'm gone) it's still fun, and KCon and Sherri were wonderful. Oh and don't mess with a redneck mama's chick cause she'll unpack the good knives and come after your butt in a hot second. Meme thinks she was evil, heck, that was her nice voice. I do get it honest.

Love
Jenn
Maker of the best sweet tea ever *winks*

PS: Thanks to Ange for the Godiva Chocy and her enactment of Jenn-fandom (((HUGS)))
Karen.. I have the card.. I shall be using it soon.. very soon. Starbucks will know me and despair!
Meems.. F**K Phil!
Nee the bridge didn't kill us it only made us smoke more
Mary.. so wonderful to meet you, finally!
Sollipop.. you shall pay for the chair.. and your evil hubby too
Mels! I finally got to meet you too! Redneckit up!
Nipps.. I've decided the bandages were but a ploy to cover up your hairy Hobbit feet
Mo.. thanks for the bag!
Tiff C is for Coookiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeee!
Jacs, Tink, Cy, Mama Lo and all the rest I know I'll forget, Whooooooohooo!
To Lauren who was freakin cool enough to let me smoke with her! *lights one up*
Oh and the Crazy Train riverdancing girl whose name I can't spell, you so frickin rocked!
I hope to see you all again real soon.
The good times rolled.. and rocked too.

PPS: I just got an email sayin that I can start edits on The Tail of the Wyvern! Yeah baby! *sighs* I don't even care that Tuesday is Monday yall.. *grins*


WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOO!

New Orleans: I went.. I saw.. I walked all over the dang place

We the members of the Kenyon Cult..

And yall, I mean that in the best possible way I can say it. I've been a fan of Sherrilyn Kenyon since I picked up Fantasy Lover and opened the page and saw the pencil sketch of Julian's man chest. I sighed over the color of the cover itself (red) I drooled over the premise (paranormal) I hooted over the snarkfest the females had with each other within the opening paragraph. Plus, it happened in N'Awlins. Whoohoo!

That was the beginning of my love of all things Dark Hunter. Even though Julian wasn't an actual DH, hellooooo NURSE he's hot! and he's still one of my all time faves. I flipped over to the back of that book, saw her website and well, the rest is if not history then some serious chaos and disorder, and while my work on a certain fanfic loop is done, I'll never be free of my addiction.

Where's this lurve-fest all going you ask? Well, I'm getting there. This is a two part blog to show both my love and affection for a wonderful author and person and my love and affection for a wonderful city.

Day 1: I get on a bus with my hubby and daughter both about to step on their lips as they wave me off so I can meet the Neegnome aka Sgt Brie in Jackson Miss for our overnight stay before we head on into New Orleans the next morning to meet with some of the Kenyonites at Commander's Palace for lunch. I bought a small cd player and some used cd's at the last minute to make the trip go faster as I couldn't make my MP3 thingit work (read that Mozilla couldn't do it *pffth!*) As I listen to the Desperate Housewifes one, which is pretty good if I skip those talking bits, the lady I am sharing a seat with keeps scooching me over, therefore, I switch cd's to... Eric Clapton's greatest hits. As I cue up I Shot the Sheriff, I feel all empowered to push her back over to her side. I shall NOT give up my side of the seat to some ill-tempered woman that has a titch more 'back' than me. Nay, nay, thrice nay (nobody died on the bus trip)

Nee calls "Where the hell are you?"

Me: "I'm on da bus" the unspoken, 'with a seat hawg' must come through loud and clear because she snickers and tells me to call her when I'm almost there.. I do and she's waiting for me at the stop. I call hubby and daughter and they sniffle. Aww (ahahahahha! I'm free wweeeee!)

We fly to the hotel room like ninnies, yak and then snore for the rest of the night. Nee sets the alarm and asks for a wake up call being so prepared and some junk. *blink blink blink*

Day 2: The alarm goes off, she kills it.. the phone rings, she kills that too. But me, being this wonderful morning person *cringes at the lightening* gets up and takes her shower and gets ready. Nee glares at me from her hole in the covers under which she has burrowed. "What are you doing?" She growls. I fear she is a coffeevamp. She has this hiss that sounds quite like a perculator. Hmmhmm.

As the sweet one of the group for once in my life, I state that I am ready and waiting for her to do the same. She growls and bounds from the bed and shuffles in the bathroom with one eye open glaring at the sorry excuse for the coffeepot that refuses to emit anything but brownish water. However, we persevere, get ready and go downstairs for some slightly stronger blackish water which I, according to her corrupt by putting in milk and sugar (oh the horror and the humanity I have sinned!)

But like a slightly more feminine version of Willie and Weylon we are On the Road Again.. and damn does this woman fly like a bat outta hell! Oh, but I've failed to mention.. we don't like bridges. Yeah, and we've got to go over Lake Pontchartrain. *squeal!* We're chattering like monkeys and she suddenly notices all the water. "Are we on a bridge?" Her eyes go wide and her mouth gets tight.

I show my ignorance and have to look around for a minute or so, "I ur.. I think so."

"Augh!"

There is the sound of Bic's being flicked, it's like a rock concert in that car. Inhales.. then I try to rationalize. "Well, tis really a raised road. I can jump out if I gotta."

Sgt Brie gives me the eye. "Shet up." *puff puff puff* And on it goes for about 6 million miles until I decide to call Meme, who had just gotten off the plane. Well, what the heck pops up in front of our eyes but the dang airport exit. Nee says, heck, we'll go get em, cause it's both her and Karen as well as Ange.

"OMG We're in Kenner, ain't this where that Booby Spear's is from, Nee? Nee?"

"I'm driving, doon't talk ta mee." (Uh oh.. I hear the cheese in der.. *zips lip*)The road to hell ain't paved with good intentions.. it's paved with the(moderately hawt) bodies of middleaged housewives who don't like driving or riding in big assed cities!! AAACCK!!

All for these two (I don't got a pick of Ange yet but I will *hee hee heeee!* ) we went into TERMINAL HELLGATE

I don't drive *pauses to get on her knees and thank God for this fact* Nee does.. *pauses to thank Him again* But we talk to Karen and/or Meme about 12 times in 20 minutes while driving to the airport.. "We're comin." "Weeeeeee're heeerree wooohooo yeah HELL YEAH HOT DAYAM! I SEE ANGE I SEE MEME OMG KAREN HAS ON SHOES THAT ARE 25 STORIES TALL!I gotta pee. My ass hurts. The bastards broke my suitcase, DEATH AND DISMEMBERMENT!" and stuff to that effect have been bandied back and forth. Nee and I are mainlining nicotine and caffeine as we are slowed to a crawl at the entrance to the terminal.

"Nee, I want my mommy."

"Me too. Call her and tell her to come get us, right now."

Karen: "I can hear you two! Shut up and pick us up at gate 5, you big babies!"

Jenn/Nee: "AAAAAAACK!"

Meme: "What are they doing?"

Karen: "Smoking and whining"

Meme: "Perhaps they need some liquor?"

Karen: "No, but I do!"

(snorts) So, I get out and almost break my fool neck as I have on heels over an inch tall (pah!) I find them or more correctly, they find me. We get back to the van where Nee has rearranged things so all luggage can be shoved into the minivan (ha!) Karen slithers into the back jumpseat in a shortish skirt and high heels without showing her arse. I was most impressed. We drop Meme off at the hotel, park Nee's car and all grab a cab (poor Tink got put on a huge Tupperware thingit) and go to Commander's Palace to eat.. FINALLY.

All of us sit I'm usin aliases to protect the innocent.. not for me, as there ain't one big and bad enough to make me innocent bwahahaha! Nipps, Jacs, Tink, Karen, Mo, Nee, Me, Cy, Ange, Er.. Rose (Hell, if I forget someone, I'm sorry! I was hungry and Nee'd scared beejezus outta me!) .. Ange has arranged this by the way (thank goodness) Who do we see when we sit down? Bill Cosby.. All of them whip out their phones and take his picture. I look at him and think Picture Pages and Pudding.. jeez, I'm old and a pig LOL! Nipps says, Dep and Shawn are coming. However, as always at first, I can't understand crap all she says. It gets better as the next little bit of time passes. I go .. Okies. The waiter asks us if we're sisters. *blinks* Ok.. perhaps Karen, Tink, Nipps and myself and maybe Mo. We all have dark hair and eyes and medium skin. However, Jacs is of an obviously different heritage (I'm not sure what, but she's pretty and looks really kewl) the others ranged from blonde to strawberrry blondes and really white skin. I went yeah but Sisters of What is the question dear.. The Kenyon Cult.. and I made a scary hand sign. Kinda got hard to be waited on after that. *snicker*

Suddenly.. Deb and Shawn come in.. I see a lady about my age and a guy come in. Two chairs are left, one by me and the other down at the other end. They are married. I start to get up and move, but the Deb person waves me down sayin she sits by him all the time, she'll sit by me today. Nipps intro's them as Deb and Shawn in her pretty accent. She sits down holds out her hand calls herself Deb and I said I'm Jenn and she hollers and I look puzzled.. she says.. I'm Sol.. it dawns on me who the damn hell she is!.. Oh and Shawn's really cool, wish hubby could have met him.

Have you finally figured out we're all nutters and we've been released from the booby hatch on New Orleans yet? It hasn't? Well, it damn well should have by now! We had a wonderful time!

We ate like pigs at Commander's Palace off our own plates each other's plates bowls... sang.. yelled hooted.. the cabdriver stalked Tink's cell.. dear Lord! I met Sherri! Omg!!!!! *pant pant* Hubby is most jealous. He's her biggest fan (in height more thank likely) All of them were sweet, I the LOS and DH loopers in person for the first time.. And I had a blast. I loved it.. even the damn Chair Incident.. you will all bloody well pay.

Loved it.

I'll post more tomorrow.

Tired as hell, but smilin

Jenn

PS: I came home and I made MY sweet tea (my only complaint)

Going to N'Awlins..

Yeah!! The Home of the House of the Risin Sun.. the Birthplace of Jazz (some say) Where you can get down, get ill, get a tattoo, go see a stripshow on one street, go to a beautiful church on the next. Yes.. New Orleans is still struggling, but I'm sure I'll be able to see its former glory shining through.

What I'm really going to see is friends I've never met in person, and I'm soo soo lookin forward to it! And if you must know, that's what I feel the city is all about. Many feel that it's crime ridden and all that, but I'm pretty sure the people are friendly as ever.. for the most part. You only hear the bad things, as that sort of thing is newsworthy.

It really doesn't matter, because the group I'll be with includes:
The Redneckuberbitch(me) who will nag them to death.
Cheesecutterbitch (Nee) who I'm sure has some mad covert needle sticking skills left over from the military.
The Glamourpuss (haaa! Karen'll kill me for that!) who'll cut you with her high heels
TheMysticalwitchbitch(Meems) who will Meme them within an inch of their lives, then whack them with her murse of doom.

I will state for the record that Kitta.. aka AssassanistaBitch will be there in spirit cheering us on. In case of an emergency, I can channel her and cut someone off at the knees *coughs* with my fingernails.

You think we're scared? Well, think again, but we are savvy enough to stay out of situations that would get us into danger in the first place. Of course, there are others that are going as well, and they ain't so nice either.. Mmmm.. Cookie Galore hides a mean streak, this I know and The Stellar one would probably whack them a time or two as well... or should I say SHELLack them? Yes.. ok, I'm off to get ready, perhaps I'll even shave my legs so I won't shock the Cheesehead with my hirsuteness, *sigh*

Yall have a good one, I'm off to see Sherrilyn Kenyon!!! and you know.. perhaps consume a few million calories worth of junk food. Ooh and there is a Starbucks in Glamazon's hotel. Yes, I shall visit her daily.

Wish Us Luck.. I have a feeling we're gonna need it..


Les Le Bon Temp Roule' (I think that's how ya spell it)

Jenna Leigh

PS: And today is my birthday.. it couldn't get any better than this.. WHOOHOO!! *shakin the birthday ass*

It rained on Monday.. big surprise..oh, and so was this.. ew!

We all know that Monday's suck, big time, so rain only makes it more sucky. I won't fuss too much, as we needed some of the wet stuff. My daughter who is still a new driver drove home in it, slowly and carefully, which made me very proud. I was cooking chili and pralines *winces as she hears the sound of a far off Sgt Brie scream of joy* Dang! Yes, I can multi-task, I'm a woman.

As I do these two things, I'm looking out the window for her car, once I see it, I go and hold the door open so she can run in, she waves for me to come out, I give her the patented 'EFO it's raining, ain't happening' stare. She sees, my stare with and raises it with an eye roll, and gets out of her car, puts her purse on her shoulder and then.. does something very odd.. *blinks*

She goes and gets a baby carrier out of her back seat. (screams in horror) What the crap?!? I stand on the top step to block her way into the house. "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"

She plants her fist on her hip and snarls, "Look, Granma Gandalf, back up and let me through. I'm gettin wet and this is for a grade." and shoves me out of the way.

I sputter, "But..but..but.. that thing, is it real? Eww.. it's a baby! Get it out of here! The cat will kill it you know."

The EFO is already at the door staring at it with his tail fluffed out three times its normal size. (Like the Grinch's heart, but it does NOT mean the same thing at ALL!) He sniffs and meows in his tiny voice. It behooves me to point out that EFO is like a certain prizefighter in that he sounds small, but fights and is large.. he bites too. I won't name this fighter because I don't like people that bite off other's ears but he don't endorse grills, yall. However, no matter how tinny his mew, he is evil which he proves within 10 seconds of her sitting this electronic demonic baby(henceforth called EDB) down by swatting it with his paw. If it smells like hell and looks like a demon, it IS demon in his book and he will not tolerate competition for his spot as top demon.. er.. well, anyways.

The Teen Queen shoos him away and flops down on the couch for her half hour veg session during which time she watches the most heinously stupid shows that MTV and/or VH1 can shovel out. At precisely 5p.m the EDB lets out a high tinny wail that I'm sure has been calibrated to travel up and down my spine at the speed of the freak. ACK! Plus, it never closes its eyes! At ALL! Ew..

I would also like it known it has not even been blessed by my lazy assed genes so that it sleeps all the damn time. How dare these teachers give us some alien yankee baby that never sleeps and eats 2 oz of non-existent formula at a time? I tell you what, my daughter drank a whole bottle at 2 weeks and slept the night through. Jeez! Ok, she was 5'8" tall by the age of 12, but what's your point? And it is wearing this pink hoodie that makes it look like nothing so much as those kids in that movie The Brood. EW!!

But, get this, she can't dump it off on me, cause she has to wear this special bracelet that has a microchip in it that matches the one on the EDB.. and it records everything that happens! OMG! It's little sister, and it's watching her! Wow!

This whole thing was for parenting class by the way, which is a good for one thing.. If you don't wanna take care of the cryin lil twits, THEN YOU BETTER USE PROTECTION!!

Her grandfather teased her by saying, you be careful with my great-grandbaby on the way to school now! *snort*


It still looked creepy though.. ick! Just in time for Halloween.. Chuck Lives and he had freak nasty babies to send out to unsuspecting peoples' homes. They wait until you go to sleep then they come in your room and.. *urk*


Jenna Leigh
Who is terrified of dolls, but that stud holding the baby up there makes me feel LOTS better *grins*

Braless In the Buick

Photobucket

This is a test post from Photobucket.com

Blogging for Friday 13th Queen is playing too.. wow..

More on the picture at the bottom. *grins*
I've had a rough week. I've felt sort of icky all this month. Tired, run down. My neck aches. I just feel so .. blech.


So, Friday 13th rolls around. The big bad day. Oh what the flip ever! I'm so not into that woo woo bad luck thing.

This morning on the way to work I tell hubby. Sh sh sh sh ha ha ha ha kill kill kill.. Happy Anniversary Honey. *grins* This is the day of the month we got married on, you see. He grins and says it back, without the cheesy Jason Musack, though, as he's driving and you know, can't have the music going and like.. SEE TO DRIVE!! *rolls eyes* Don't frickin' ask, yall. I don't want to open that can of hubby is a goober redneck freako worms. *sighs* Suffice to say, my daughter and I are not happy to ride with him, thank the bitch goddesses of the DMV that she has her lil piece of plastic that says SHE can frickin drive now. YAYYYY!!

Ooohkay, where the crap was I? oooh! Yeah! Friday the 13th. big old badass day. Right? Mmmhmm. Right.

I come home, early cause, well, hell, yesterday I had to stay all day by myself, I may add. From 7 to 5, I was alone, deprived of a lunch and breaks. *wails, gnashes teeth, whines and flails around upon the shores of despair* What? Oh shut up. So, today I ask my boss, the Big T-bone.

"Might I since, I was all by myself go home today?"

Before I get it all out he says "YES, GO JUST GIT GONE!!!"

*blink* You'd think they wish me to leave the pit of despair with all haste, wouldn't you? Well..just.. FINE! I know when I'm not wanted. I tell fellow evil co-worker that I am gone.. she gives me the snarl of snarkitude and I give it back. We are sisters of slavery, we know we are peons meant for the meat market. We know they will grind us down into numb little nubs of nothingness, they will use us up until there is nothing left and toss us aside. *sniffles*

So.. by golly, I ran out of that place and hubby and I went to..

The damn Hellmouth!

I had to get a new fan, my other one quit. Paid a dollar for it since the so-called fan season is over, to make way for Deer season. As if it's cold down here, pah! You know I think am fast approaching a milestone in my life. It is one I look forward to with all the glee of a child that hears the sound of the icecream truck's jingling tune. Yes, I've begun to experience what some call hot flashes, but what I like to call.. POWER SURGES.. oooh The Menopause is upon me, I believe. Some think of it as the end of womanhood. Oh bull! Honey, the day I can stop staking out the feminine product aisle is the day I shall celebrate.

I'm gonna build a big old bonfire in the front yard and guess what I'm gonna use as kindling. You guessed it! Them wings is gonna burn baby burn!

Anyhoo, I've been having a small medical prob, tired and icky. But I've found out about it and hopefully got it fixed. Yahoo for my doctor!! Hail to the man! He's wonderful!

So, this week has been bad for the writer in me. I've written a little on Dateless, but that is it. I've read over some of my other stuff, edited it, shored it up, polished it. But nothing, because I've hurt so bad and been so tired. Today I came home after the trip to Hell.. mouth and went to bed.. Then JMorgan *grins* tells me Whoohooo My book is OUT!!! Hoorah for JMORGAN AND CHARISSA!!!!

You can see their new releases at:

Triskelion

The Michelangelo Blues by JMorgan is a romantic suspense with some sarcastic comedy. The heroine is funny, and sassy, the hero is quirky, hot and sexy as hell. Reminds me of my hubby. *drool*

The Viper Queen by Charissa is a historical with a kickass heroine and a seriously hot broody hero, trust me, Charissa specializes in the big bad batman. She is the best at those. Dayam!

So, if you read my blog. And if you do, I ask why. The answer is probably so you can look at yourself and say.. Look, I'm not as crazy as Jenn is, so ha, I'm all good! Well, la dee da for YOU! But if you do read it and you're wondering why I have Chao aka Aaron Kwok up there at the top beside the drool factor that I have for him, well. He's sort of the inspiration for the character for my story The Wolf's Heart. Marcus Bei is a wonderfully wacky and wickedly hot werewolf who lusts after the sinfully sassy, sexy Elaine Westabrook. Alliteration much? What the hell do you expect at 3 a.m? Why am I mentioning them you ask?

Oh well, *shrugs* Samhain Publishing offered me a contract on them is all. It was waiting in my inbox as I lay on my lazy ass watching Man of the House for the third time. (killing brain cells!jaysus!) On Friday the 13th no, less. Yeah.. that's um.. all..


Yall have a nice night..
Well. Morning..

Jenna Leigh.


PS.. oh um..

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! OMG!! WHOOHOO!!!

Oh yeah, I'm freakin out. May never sleep again.

Why Do Fools Fall In Love?

You may as well ask why birds sing...

I write romance.. or I try to.. and I like to make my romances funny too.. so... I should know what love is right? Riiiiiigghhtt..

Singers sing about it, writers write about it, painters will paint pictures of it and save themselves a thousand words or more.

It's not a chemical reaction, like Tina Turner sang in the 80's fresh from her divorce from the wicked wacky Ike. He needed killin in my book, but that's just the redneck talkin, honest.

Love is a mystical, magical, maniacal sort of thing that just happens. Sometimes it goes BOOM! And hits you like the proverbial ton of bricks when you least expect it , and more than likely least need it to do so, and with the least likely person. That kind, while it burns hot, sometimes also burns out really fast too. Sorry, to say it, but this is true.

But often Love is a stealthy sly creature. Like the ninja it slips into your heart, and sits there quietly waiting for you to notice that hey, this person you've known all your life, or at least a year or two is THE ONE.

There won't be any cheesy harp music like in the movies, unless you have some sort of mental disorder. Oh but, if you do, more power to you. I'd be ok with an illness that played instrumental music when I met the the love of my life. All I felt was a mild queasiness that signaled that I may have probably in all likelihood in the worst case scenario met the man of my dreams. Dither much, libra girl? Sheah!

Then again, love changes.. almost like a living breathing thing, it grows into something else as time passes. Friendship can grow into a passionate love affair and visa versa. It can kill you, driving you crazy, make you weep, laugh, drink, thirst, hunger. It can consume someone's thoughts to the exclusion of all else. Make a strong man weak.. a weak man strong..just ask the Grinch.

But what is it? Why do human's feel it? Do animals feel it? Some believe their pets do.. I'm not so sure my cat loves me, but I'm sure he would miss the food I put in his dish. Dogs though, yeah, they have the I love you eyes thing down pat. Nobody can make those eyes like a dog..

Cynics will tell you it's just something to sell novels and cards on Valentine's Day. But a true romantic will tell you that Love is what makes the world go around, not the sun's gravitational pull or whatever the hell. I hope that if you haven't found THE ONE that you will.. I've heard that beer helps a lot.



Love is a many splintered thing *winks*

Jenn

Bras, Books and A Starbucks, Hallelujah!

When last we left our intrepid southern mean girl, she was dreading her upcoming trip to the Hellmouth, knowing it would entail spending her hardearned paycheck upon necessary yet perishable goods on which her family would gorge themselves. *oink oink oink* However, this day was made slightly better than most by the fact that she got not 1 but 3 books from ze Book Nazi without Mortal Combat with said nazi as she was off in the bowels of her dark and forbidden cave in ze back *coughs* Sorry, the accent slips in you know. *grins* Master of Swords, Kick A$$ and Book of Spirits fell into her hot lil hands with no trouble at all with the added bennie of a large iced mocha for energy.

Woohoo!!

So, she hiked through the wilds of the Hellmouth on a caffeine high while avoiding the horrid evil people that liked to get in her way for no reason other than to piss her off. She didn't even have the armor of scrubs to make them afraid of her, instead she was dressed in a pair of cute navy capri sweats and bright red top. Mmph! How dare they use her fashionable looks against her. Well, she'd just run their asses over! Ahaa!! Note to Glamazon: You were right, shopping cart-a-cide does give you a nice glow.

Then, as she and sainted hubby were about to rush home to pick up Mozilla from McHell a ring on the Bitchphone alerted them to the fact that they weren't to get her until 5pm. Therefore, there was time to get the all important bra.. (shet it) So, Jenn.. being without the mother who loves to flash her goods to the world, decides to run to the store and get one. OOooooooh eeww eeek. She did so, with great haste and no little cursing of stupid pregant women whom are apparently off limits to ass kicking despite the fact that they want the cashier to ring up items one at a time even if there are 22 people behind her fat, pregnant tight pants wearing self! You know who you are woman, Karma is after you.. I have my contacts and they are on their way!

Anyway, hubby hopped around in this line like a lil boy having to go pee pee and he whined about it, but there aren't many options for the bazoomably endowed, so he had to deal. Yes, yall, I bribed him, stating I'd buy him food. Gah! However, as neither of us will agree on what foods shall be eaten, the mall was decided on as the food court offers a variety in one convenient spot. And lo... there is something new at the Mall...



***

Ahem.. do the dreamie fade thing please *wavy wavy woo woo*

Jenn hikes up the metaphorical mountain grown every morning and asks a very important question "Oh Dearest Java Goddess when shall I be blesssed with good coffee? Why must I be deprived of it? All of the other girls have it." She sniffs and lays coffee beans on her coffee altar before she turns sadly away.


The Java Goddess looks down at her sad little alcolyte as she shuffles off with her inferior cuppa and knows it is time.

"By the Blessed Beans this brave child has lived long enough without the good stuff.. ..

THUNDER BOLTS AND LIGHTENING..

GIVE JENNZILLA HER WISH!!"



Lo.. What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east.. and Starbucks is the one.. eh, I'm not gonna butcher the classics to let you know how happy I was when we pulled into the mall and saw the familiar little circle outside the food court.

I yelled.. "HUBBY!!" and pointed. He sighed, no doubt envisioning many trips to the mall that he'd not had to make because I hate the place. Oh hubby, the force is strong within you... Jethro the Redneck Jedi you are.

You must understand that I've lived in a culturally deprived outpost of humanity having to content myself with those little bottled Starbuck thingits that are frankly, nasty as hell. Sorry, Java Goddess.. ew.

So, I start to go to my food place and stop, only to be bumped into by my hubby who for once in his miserable life wants what I want if only because he don't want to stand in line. We get Chick Fil-a and I go to the *sigh* Starbucks. I get an Iced Mocha (my second if you're counting) It is divine. I shouldn't be surprised for the Java Goddess had chosen to bless me, as she loves me.


Today has been good. The booby fairy smiled on me and gave me two bras that fit. The Book Nazi was out so I got three books that I wanted. And lo and behold the Starbucks has gone redneckin!! Life couldn't get any better than this. I may never blink again, though. Caffeine is good!


Jenna Leigh
Java Ho
Third Coffee Pot from the Sun

Mozilla is Mobile

That's right, she passed her driving test with flying colors. Hubby was most cast down. I think he was hoping she'd fail so that this milestone wouldn't pass quite so readily. Instead she squealed out of the metaphorical driveway so fast she left tiremarks. One more bridge crossed on the route to the the empty nest syndrome that shall hit him very hard, I fear.

Anyway, we go to the DMV.. *insert the evil music here* This could be an awful experience, but it isn't, simply because I know someone that works here, and she's very sweet. That's right a nice person works at the DMV ladies and gentlemen! I also have to get my ID renewed and while I'm doing that with the nice person, the evil man is doing my child's lisence. My hubby is not my child's biological father and therefore can't do her stuff for her. I'm in the next booth doing my thing, and so, nice lady hands my old id over the side and says he'll have to wait which is fun. *grins*

Now I have a new id, on which I am grinning like a loon. Ffth.

However, daughter PASSED! She aced her test! hoohoo!! Go Mozilla! You rock! Now you can be drivin' Ms Crazy aka your mama.

Now back to your regularly scheduled insanity in which I attempt to write something that resembles a story. Oh, and erm.. I'm going to NOLA in about two weeks.. Yall better watch out!!

Jenna Leigh

Bite Me--My Vamp Addiction

You could say I have a form of vampirism, if only literary. And ony if they looked like him..

As a child, I was terrified of vampires, beginning at the tender age of five when I stayed up late and watched Nosferatu on Scifi Theater on my 12 inch black and white. The sight of that thing crawling up the bricks and into the window to bite the neck of the lovely maiden had me huddling under the covers for over a year.

Just about the time I got over that and could sleep with my neck uncovered at night, along came a mini-series called Salem's Lot. Oh, Stephen, thou art the King of plumbing the depths of my psyche. This time the fanged ones were on a bigger screen and in technicolor. That tall green guy was the stuff of a 6 year old's nightmares. I put crosses on my neck.. I don't mean crosses as in a necklace, oh no, you people know me better than that by now. I drew them in magic marker on my neck. When I bathed them off, I drew them again. Thank God it was summer. I still won't watch it now. Though, I will admit, the parts I have seen are no longer as frightening as they once were, the little kid pecking at the window and the dude in the rocking chair with the glowing eyes still give me a big case of the heebs.

Score three for the King.. (1) no open curtains at night (2) no creepy strangers in my house after dark who can't enter without my invite (3) No corn (wait, that's another blog, sorry)

For six years I was terrified of vampires. Then three things happened almost at once.. Two movies Fright Night. (erm. wow) That man was seriously hot and I thought the words in my title for the first, but not the last time. You got it. "Oh yeah baby, bite Me." *sighs*

The other movie? Well, um, I'll admit to having a big old soft spot in my heart for Love at First Bite. George Hamilton may have had to wear clown white pancake makeup, but who cares? The drunkenly uttered line, "Renfield! They thought I vas a black chicken. *hic!*" will forever be next to the final nail in the coffin of my fear of vampires. (pun intended)

What was the death knell of my fear of the undead? Well, one day while I was in spending rainy recess in the library, I noticed a book on the shelf in my highschool library. While jr high kids weren't supposed to be able to check some books out, I was allowed as (a) I was special and (b) I was the librarian's pet. If you check out 10 books a week, this is sort of thing tends to happen *coughs* especially if you bring them all back again. The book was Interview With the Vampire. This opened a whole new world to me, a former fang-o-phobe.

The rest is history.. or

His and Her-story.

From Anne I progressed to..

Laurell K Hamilton-Anita Blake and Jean Claude
Jim Butcher-Dresden Files
Sherry Kenyon-Dark Hunters
MaryJanice Davison-Betsy the Shoe Vamp
Angela Knight-Mageverse and any other vamp she'll write for me (slurp)
Kim Harrison-I love her play on the Clint Eastwood movie titles!!
Charlaine Harris-The Dead as Series
Katie MacAlister-one funny lady

In other words, I'm addicted to fangs.. I love a story with bite. Gimme a good book with a dark broody hero who has a sharp smile, a taste for the red stuff, and an aversion to sunlight, and you've got a fan forever, literally. If you can add a sarcastic wit, some big action scenes and a few twists and turns in there, hey, you've got the makings of a hit television series. If you don't belive me, ask the Buffites who I didn't include because unlike most, I'm not a fan. Please don't stake me.. I liked the original movie better. But Spike would have made a way cool Harry Dresden for Jim Butcher's book to TV series.

So, now you know how one scared little girl made her way to the vampire romance aisle in the bookstore. It's a long and sorted story filled with pain, angst and yes, b-movies. I feel that it was a growing experience, and if it helps one fang-o-phobe come to terms with their fears then I know that I will not have blogged in vein. *winks*

Is that a stake in your pocket or are you happy to see me?

Jenna Leigh

I'm having a signing and a reading on Saturday!!

*Takes a deep breath* If you're in the area, stop by and pay us a visit!

Windows a Bookshop
609 Park Avenue
Monroe LA 71201
(318) 361-9004

Please join us for

Local Authors Day
Saturday Afternoon
September 30, 2006
2:00-4:00
Each author will speak or
read for five minutes; a
book signing will follow.

Hmm, Quizilla has Spoken

What Kind of a Writer Are You?

You're a plotter, someone who carefully crafts an intriguing plot to keep the reader hooked from one scene to the next. You thrive on knowing exactly where your story is going, and what's going to happen along the way. Although you might veer off your original plan for the story, mostly you stick to your carefully planned outline. You're a born storyteller who enjoys sharing your stories with others. Take this quiz! Quizilla | Join | Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

Somehow, I don't see it. Unless you count the characters haunting me day after day in my head as plotting. I do go over scenes over and over again until finally, I put them down.

I guess I'm a plot by the seat of my pants type of writer.


Tomorrow is Monday by the way..
Yeah, I know..ew

Jenna

Drivin Ms Crazy to the Store.

I'm Ms Crazy and she's Mrs. Crazy..

Ok, so we're a matched set. So what?

Let me let you in on a little secret. I despise shopping for real clothes. I work in a place where I get to wear what amounts to jammies. And, while modern scrubs come in cute colors and prints for girls these days, they are still basically the same cut. Yes, that's right, scrubs are pillowcases with arm, leg and head holes. And no, I'm not talkin sheets, GAH!

Well, I have a function that I have to go to where I have to look 'smart' fashionable, and cute. That would be my book signing on the 30th of this month. If I'm going to bomb, I want to look fashionable while doing so.. Not scrub wearing, grubby, like when I go grocery shopping. I'll wear them then, I so don't care. People don't mess with a scrub wearer at the Hell mouth. They know you've been at work all day and are probably at the end of your tether. (more on that at the end)

Mommy and she's mommy when she has to pick out your clothes, not mother, mama or mom...it's MOMMY! I've regressed to being a two-year old. I don't even CARE!--says, sure, sweetie, we shall shop til we drop, and she gets this.. GLEAM in her eye that I can see over the phone.. I can hear it.. it makes a strange sound.. like this MUUUUAAAAAAAAAHHHH!

Factor into it that I'm a big girl.. especially in a certain region of my anatomy.. (They're boobs Ed) and you've got a hissy fit waiting to happen in the racks of a regular store. However, Mommy knows of a store that has mondo kewl clothes as she sees them upon the grand teetons of her co-worker every single day. My mother is observant of the important things, you know. *coughs*

She zooms up in her truck (yes, she's a redneck too!) and kidnaps me and takes me to the store, nice place, reasonably priced and hey, they have a bunch of clothes for women with bazooms.


*Small aside, her hubby calls and says, "Hey, you know what I forgot?" She says, out of the blue.. "The bb gun?" OMG! what in the hell? They're crazy!*

So, I'm in the little cramped hole of a dressing room and she's standing right outside going..

M= Mommy
J= Me

M: Well? *pulling the curtain*

J: Don't open that! I'm nekkid! *jerks the curtain back closed*

M: There's only women here! Chill out!

J: I don't care! Back off! OMG! This shirt looks like something Dolly wore in Best Lil Whorehouse in Texas!

M: It does not.. *snatches the curtain open* finally, she triumphs.. EW!! It does, what the hell? Where did you get those? *points at those in question* I mean, I don't have them!

I'd like to say..as if I've contracted them, like booby VD or something, Jeez! Yes, mother, I caught them in the gym locker room, cause I didn't wear flipflops.. fffth! However, as I'd like to live without the humiliation of having a buttwhippin at the age of thirty *muttermuttermutter* I only say out loud..

J: Harumph! *snatches the curtain back closed* Then I whine cause I have a cute pair of dressy capris with the cuffs, however ,they have that damn freaky button on the inside which I hate, because.. you guessed it, I can't see over the bazooms. *sighs*

M: *taps foot* What are you doing in there? *snatches the curtain open again* Just leave that one undone! I do! You can't see over your bewwbeees! (she sings it, you know)

Then, thank God, she runs off into the store and finds a pair of pants for herself, which show her tiny, nonexistent arse off to full advantage. Yes, that's right Mommy is skinny.. tiny.. petite even!! I'd hate her but she's wonderful.. and she almost got into a fight with two large women who were mocking her when she exclaimed over a pair of pants that she said were, "Gorgeous!"

Ok, she almost got ME into a fight with them. I was innocently cursing buttons in the dressing room. I'd have gotten her back too. I had hangers and I wasn't afraid of using them.

So, I have three, yes, three new outfits.. a pair of dressy capris, denim capris, cute jeans, three tops .. and oh damn.. I forgot shoes..

Close your eyes, Karen.. I'm about to utter the P-word.

I'm bloody well going to Payless, surely they have something that will suit my cheap and tawdry needs. LOL!! Poor Karen, she's been traumatized. Ah well.. She'll like my cute denim capris when she sees them in NOLA next month (yipeee!!), I'm calling em that, not gauchos, DAMMIT!

As to the Hellmouth..

Hubby went to his favorite eatery. He took his food into the store and plunked it down into the cart and hid it under my purse.. *growls* I forgot it was there and walked to health and beauty to get the shampoo, tooth paste etc.

As I did so, I received strange looks and thought, well crap, they can smell these stupid chicken strips.. ew! However, I turn around suddenly and there is this HUGE glowering man behind me.. salivating.

"Why for you take off with my food?" He growls in his deep scary voice. People scatter in the face of Billzilla. He proceeds to treat the trip to the Hellmouth as a picnic. He pushes the buggy up and down the aisles, stuffing his face and throwing things into the buggy while I sip my iced mocha and yes, chill.

I think I'll just give him food on every trip. Sort of like that donkey and carrot trick to make him pull the cart. People moved out of our way because if they got too close, he either glared, or growled. The hubby only gets that way if you come too close to his plate.

In the immortal words of the smartest man on Friends. "Joey don't share food."




Jenna Leigh
Capris, I mean it!

PS: Karen.. PAYLESSSSSS!!!!!

A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes

Is Disney to blame? Or is it because so many of us have been deprived of it in reality for much of our misbegotten lives do we want a guarantee of happily ever after happening in the books we spend our hard-earned cashola on, and I mean spend. HEA aka Happily Ever After is what romance is all about right? The romance genre covers a lot of sins too. One of them seems to be a new and alarming trend toward the non HEA. I know want it.. If there's gonna be a sequel, I'll settle for happy for now.

Oh, and series sistahs, don't be cutting me off in an abrupt spot either .. you heifers know who yall are.. I still love yall, but seriously, I'm gonna start stalkin me some authors and soon if'n I don't get me some satisfaction. (MaryJanice? yes YOU! Katie? YOU TOO!)

Back to the HEA hullaballooh.. Apparently, people are buying some books, reading them, getting into the good smutty bits, then getting to the end and going.. WHAT THE HEYALL?


Are we going to be reduced to putting Tipper Gore type stickers on books..

Warning: Reader Advisory!! This book may contain a non-satisfactory ending. You might get pissed off. Read at your own risk!

Or in a more positive light..

This book contains a Happy Ending: Birds Sing, Bells Ring, The Whistles Blow and The World Keeps on Turning.

I'm not sure if either one of these is right. I don't actually want to know if it all comes out right in the end. I just want to have a strong belief that it will. I know that most do have a HEA, and the journey between Point A(the beginning) to B (the end) is 99.9% of the fun. However, I'd like to know that Point B isn't going to make me throw the book outside, pour lighter fluid on it, light it up and sacrifice it to the goddess of pissed-off hormonal women. (Oh yeah, she exists and she looks a LOT like me) I'm pretty sure my hubby would like to know this ahead of time too, in case he needs to gather up the garden hose, protective fire gear and yes, the camera.

I love PWP as much as the next perv, but don't label it as romance. Label it as what it is.. good
old fashioned.. SMUUUUUTTT *grins* Loves it I do.. my precious..


Warning:
This Label Means Nothing
this author is not an expert
she just likes to read alot
she likes happy ever after..
and she'd best see some for Betsy and StinkLAIR.. SOON!
Oh and she'd like her Ainsling/Drake and ooh yes Jim fix too, if atall possible. (puppy eyes)


Jenna Leigh

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Synopsis, Edits and Queries, Oh My!

Such is the life of an author. You write, write, write. You type THE END, and you think you're done. Oh no, I'm sorry.. that's the fun part. The icky stuff is just beginning.

Oh, why is that picture of Hugh there? Why the heck not would be the question. Tomorrow is Monday, live a little!

I'm actually ok with edits. You go back and re-read the stuff you did and find out that hey, you did alright. You find the silly mistakes and pick out the dangling participles, fiddle with clauses and ignore MS Word when it says that you've mispelled something. I don't really care if ain't is a word or not, my character is from the South, I'm using it, get over it! Same thing with goin', or gotta. Deal!

The query letter, I can also get over doing, after a few cookies or some major choco-therapy. It's like writing a blurb in the middle of a short business type resume letter. Not too bad on those.

However, the dread synopsis, sucksnotsis, or whatever you wish to call these spawns of Satan that were put upon the earth to torment me are a different story entirely. I hate them, I despise them and I will NEVER like them as long as I live so help me NORA! Some write them before they do their stories. Some plot out their stories. I don't do this.. I've tried and I can't.. it does something to switch off the creative process in my brain, makes writing like homework and we all know how I felt about school.

I did well in school, but hated every single minute they forced me to stay. I felt trapped in that regimented, plodding little classroom. Even the desks confined me. I bumped my knees on the tops, or banged my ankles on the legs. Forced to sit wait on the other children while they asked questions over and over and over.. just give me the test so I can leave! *sighs*

I went to a technical college after I quit 'real' college *grins* and I was never so happy to hear the following phrase. "We work at our own pace here." I finished three different courses of study in 8 short months. They handed me my certificates and just sort of stared at me like I was an alien, or even worse.. a yankee *gasps* LOL!!

So, my goal this week is to do the dread synopsis..

Live Long and Prosper,

Jenna

Lola is almost done!

Remy (Inspired by the image on the left oooh) and Lola have been sort of a fast and yes, HOT bit of fun for me. What Happens in Vegas sort of flowed out.. so Whoohoo! I love them! Funny, hot and yes, soo very sweet. Short of some edits, we're done!!!!
Thanks, Write 50 Books, yall helped me soo soo much!

As for this story? JMorgan made me do it! For real! Like a vulture looming over me. Nothing like a deadline and a new writing loop to make you get busy! I've had a little help with this one and I hope it's as good as I think it is!

Cross your fingers that my writing stream helps to get all my other stuff out and to my editor. Dateless sat on the back burning glaring at me. And Gabby has been wacking me with her little rattle. I know,I've been peeved too, honey! Now onto her after some edits and other things and, I'll be keeping my fingers crossed on that too!!

Here's to Humpday and I hope you're all having a great week!!

Her Name was Lola!!
Ooh I'm not gonna singit!

Jenna Leigh
La la la la la
Aaaaaaaack!

Latte` Limelight~~Jenna Leigh

Coffee's not just for drinking anymore. I'm in the spotlight and while it shines on me, I'm also sharing a little about myself, including one of my embarrassing moments. A moment my hubby still teases me about. (you can click on the banner for my Limelight page, I got skills now.. ffth!)
If you'd like to see read my coffee blog you can go here
Start here

And for my embarrassments and other stuff go here

Coffee Thoughts with Jenna

Feel free to comment and yes, tease me about it. I don't care. But like someone once said, tease an author and end up in her next book. Who said that? Oh, I dunno maybe her name was.. Lori, Nee, Meme, Karen, Kitta, Livvy or.. well, you just never know.

I'm a big believer in taking inspiration from every day life. It gives your book a touch of realism that it can lack otherwise. I don't mean to just write your autobiography, because if you're like me, you're boring!

Heck, that's why I write, to have a life, at least in 12pt Times New Roman font. I can kill, maim, and have lots of hot.. er, well, anyhoo. Also, I'm not in danger like my heroine who's dangling 20ft above a raging river by her fingertips, or having my heart broken by a total cad. Or being shot out of a cannon, or .. well, you get the picture. Writers have a wonderful passport into the lives of their characters.

You can have a little peek into mine if you'd like. But hey, don't expect the life and times of Jenna Leigh to be all that exciting and wild. I'm just a woman that lives in a tiny little town with her hubby, teenaged daughter and demented cat, who by the way, just accidentally got hair remover on him by brushing up against my daughter's legs.

Oh crap, I'm the owner of half a Mr. Bigglesworth. *sighs* Did I say boring? I meant INSANE!!

Come on back here Mr. Bean! You'd best be glad we live in the South or you'd be freezing your butt off by now! Oh dear, he's wet and mad now. You realize he's just turned into the EFO (Evil Feline Overlord) I'll be hearin' about this for the next decade. No amount of kitty treats, and begging will make it up to him.

I only hope he knows I am not to blame. I don't want to wake up without parts I need to function in polite society. *blinks and looks under the desk* Ok, I have to go now. I've been informed by the feline lord and master that all privileges have forthwith been removed until further notice.

See yall later,


Jenna Leigh


Wait a damn minute since when do I let a cat dictate to me? I'll stay on here as long as I wa...

Just when you thought it was safe to go back to your keyboard

What do you do when your muse says..

That isn't right you know. You need to change it to something else. Here.. just let me do it, honey. Go on shoo, go and do the dishes or something. *cracking of Muse knuckles*

When you come back, your WIP resembles nothing like you left it as. My story started out as a paranormal romantic comedy involving a woman that was a Pantherwere but didn't know it until she met up with another one who sort of woke her up to the truth. But then, it all shifted into this zany, goofy, and if you must know, much better story of a woman who just wants to be something a little less boring. Be careful what you wish for Lola, honey, you just may get more than you bargained for. Dammit, don't you hate it when the muse is right? She gets all smug with me and sniggers in my head.

It makes me want to smack her. I know she's stealing my chocolate too, you know. That heifer has been in my emergency rations snacking late at night, typing on my keyboard and leaving trails of aluminum foil wrappers beneath my chair. The cat loves it too. He bats them back and forth across the floor with the abandon of a cat half his age. The twit. She's winning him over to her side. Very soon, she'll learn to open the cat food cans and he'll no longer need me at all. I'll be assassinated in the night, you just wait!!

Back to my story, if it is still mine. These things have a way of getting away from me, and growing into something all on their own.

Lola is out on the town with her two insane friends, twins, Mia and Tia, who've dared her to do something out of her ordinary. She's agreed and now she's netted a total stud named Remy Fontenot, who's in town for his first vacation in five years. Remy's sure Lola is up to something, but as long as he gets in on the action, he could care less. However, Lola's mother has skeletons she wants to stay in the closet and when she makes a fateful phone call, her past comes back not to haunt her, but Lola in the form of a very eccentric family that she didn't even know she had. A midnight ride in a Concord later and it's culture shock for a woman who firmly believed that What happens in Vegas....

Well, you know the rest.

Ok, so you don't but if I told you, that would so spoil the end, right?

Love ya, happy Labor Day

Muah or is it muahahaha?

Jenna Leigh

Four Steps to Diva-dom

Lola's life is so boring her friends decide to help her liven it up with a 4-step program guaranteed to make her a brand new woman. She never counted on meeting Remy. What happens in Vegas, doesn't always stay there.


4 Steps to becoming a Diva..

1. Drink at least three diva type drinks.
She never drank; it always caused her to babble about the most inane things. She'd tell her underwear size by the end of the night.

2. Make sure to only buy the first of those.
How in the hell did you make someone buy you a drink? That smacked of begging.

3. Ask the hottest guy you see to dance.
Oh. My. God! Maybe she could buy a really strong drink at first. Liquid courage was the term she had in mind. She could be a drunken diva.

The last thing on the list to become an absolute complete diva was something she doubted she'd do and really, how would these two idiots know? As an only child, she'd developed a wicked imagination. As an adult woman, she'd bought a lot of dirty and deliciously smutty books to keep her imagination alive. That meant she had lots of material to steal, because number four was the one that they thought the most important of all.

4. Take the hotty home and ride him like a trick pony, Ms.Diva!
Lola felt someone staring at her and looked up. A pair of bright green eyes met hers and she felt a bolt of heat slide down her spine and straight into the stupid thong she'd been forced to wear with this silly excuse for a dress. Did she say oh my God already?

Meowhahahhahahah!

Laughter is the Best .. Inspiration

Many more years ago than I'd care to admit, I picked this book up. It's gone through many changes, at least the cover has, and though I have a first edition copy, I chose the newer picture as I like pink. The Raider by Jude Deveraux was a book that did something that no romance had done for me before. It made me laugh.

Ms. Jude's beloved Montgomery family was coming to America, but you are led to believe it will die out with the insipid, foppish Alexander Montgomery, who minced his way through the scenery much to Jessica Taggert's disgust. These two trade barbs with such obvious relish that you know in your heart something must come of it, but what? How can she love this overblown, overpadded, lace-loving twit of a man? Especially when The Raider is swinging his way through the town in his big black mask and *sighs* tight black leather pants. I mean really, what girl doesn't love a hot bad boy?

The Raider is The Scarlett Pimpernell meets Zorro meets Batman meets.. The Boston Tea Party and I laughed so hard I almost passed out. I was 16 and left to wonder why in the heck no other authors made me laugh as well as love in the romance novels quite so much. Ms. Deveraux did it so well, so much and so often, that she will be one of my favorites of all time. Now, if she'd only do historicals again.

I may not write historicals, but I still read every one I can get my hands on in the hopes that there will be another to fill her shoes. So far some have come close, but no body beats The Raider or outdoes the Deveraux, at least to me. Her Montogomery's are at the top of the list, followed by the Malory's, the Bridgertons, and the Sherbrookes.

She's the reason I write romance and she's also one of the reasons I write romantic comedy. Smiling is good for you, I feel that laughter burns calories.

Laugh, love, read

Jenna Leigh

Happy Sunday!

This is a Bubba Keg. It contains what could be called, Rocket fuel for this insane redneck author. I use it to motor my way on the my little psycho path, puttering along, avoiding the potholes of plot pitfalls as I write my lastest zany and hopefully funny story called Everybody Wants to Be a Cat.

Yesterday was tiring, and yet, fun! Thanks Romance Junkies!! Authors promo, that's a fact of the business, cause, it ain't gone sell itself. I don't care how good it is, that little book will sit on the shelf and collect dust, not money. You can write the best book and nobody will buy it if you don't sell it. I love both my stories but hey, if nobody knows about them, then they aren't gonna be read. And why am I writing if not to entertain the masses? I write to please myself, but I also write to please my friends. I'd like to think of my so called *gulps* fans as friends too. I don't really think I have fans, though. LOL

I'm not Nora or LKH or even.. *sucks air* Sheri.. I'm her biggest fan. Anyways, I like people, a lot, and I like to write a real woman even if she's with a vamp or a were and even if she's a witch or a psychic, she has real feelings. The hero does too, they feel, and love and hate and want to pull their hair out. But, they also smile and laugh and smart off alot. A whole lot. I like witty, characters that talk a lot of smack. And if you play that character off one that's so uptight he or she creaks when they walk, all the better. Contrast is key.

In the first of my wolf series, I have Lainie and Marcus. Both of them are young and pretty hip. They're equal in their relationship mentally. However, he's a were, not that she's aware of it at first. They go at it in and out of the bedroom. Verbal sparring is one of the best parts of their relationship. I hope to see them in print one day, either ebook or on the shelf, I don't care! The wolves are howling to be heard and I'm feeling a bit ansty myself.

Romance is great, but you have to spice it up with some snappy banter, and if the girl's a little meaner and the boy's a wiseass too, ah well, that's called reality, and if it bites? So what? I like a bite now and then. *grins*

I hope you have a good one, happy reading, happy writing, stay cool if you can..

Jenna Leigh

I just had a weird thought

If you put the heroine of my story with the title of my novella .. do you know what you'd have?

Erin go Braless? Roflmao.

Oh, just just up! I'm doing something technical here, people, at least I was trying to be entertaining. I know it wasn't funny, Glamazon, you don't have to get the ruler out.

You must submit

No, this isn't that type of blog. Well, not tonight anyway. *grins* I was talking with a fellow author and said if we don't submit our work, we won't get offered anything. After a brief silence, she said in a voice loaded with a brand of hostility that says I am so right. "Shut up."
Oh, she wasn't really mad, just angry at herself and me for not doing it.

We made a pact then and there to motivate (read bitch at) each other to write on something for submissions each and every day. All it takes is..

Courage.. (hence the little Cowardly Lion picture)

We're both in the same boat. We can't let go of our babies, let them fly free of the nests and say they're ready to be books as opposed to works in progress. They're so cute when you start them out, then they go through that awkward middle saggy phase before you get to the end and have to polish them. I suppose that could be called the all imporatant, first molting or er..edit.


The creative process is often a violent one, much like birth and death all wrapped up together. In fact, depending on your subject, you can write all that into one book along with the requisite sex drugs and rock n roll of course. You can never have too much of the last three in my opinion, though, I always see Billy Idol when I think of them. In the midnight hour, she cried more more more. What was she crying for more of, sex drugs or music with rocks in to quote Terry Pratchett. While I'm sure Billy's inspired many a woman to do some bad bad things, who will inspire me to send my work into someone who'll do something with it? A writer needs readers to be an author, in my book anyways.

Paranormal Romance with a twist of humor seems to be what I'm good at, and I love it. So far, I've got quite a few finished, one submitted to an agent (yes I said submitted) another turned into my publisher. (she probably hates it..*sniffles*) And a few more I may have ready to go out as well.

If I only had..

Courage..

I follow my own road, that well traveled psychopath. The journey is paved with the misadventures of my zany and well-established ability to twist and turn a phrase into madness without much effort at all.

Go with your strengths, and my gene pool, unlike what most people think of us southerners, (yes you, back in the corner, I see you smirking) is varied. My family tree, while twisted, does fork, in many unexpected directions too. I wish there was a synopsis writing savant hanging around on it somewhere but nooo, all I have are.. *blinks* Never mind, about them we don't talk about the next of kin.

I'll write the sucksnopsis all by myself.

Courage.. *shudders*

So, here I am, Jenn the Cowardly Redneck, who wishes she were over the rainbow with the Scarecrow and the Tinman. Although being told to follow the Psychopath by Meme the Goodwitch of the South, just doesn't really make me feel all that damn comforted to tell you the truth. I think she's going to follow me in her Baba-Mobile followed by Glamazon in her Highheel Hotwheel just to make me freak out and hit a paranoid pothole so they can laugh when I fall and Kitta puts theose bloody wetas on me. Then all will listen to me scream like a little boy. (You heard me right so don't bother to reread that last sentence.)

The road to submission is filled with good sentences, paragraphs and chapters. Hell, it's even got a prologue and epilogue. What it don't got is a synopsis. I hate them and personally think they were invented by either the Nazi's or Satan himself to torment me. I shall overcome, however, and triumph over the evil of the dreaded and hated torment that lies within. All I need is


Courage..

Jenn
The Cowardly Redneck

Or... Am I? This instead!!



Meowhahahahahahah!!

Blondes have more fun, right? Oh be quiet!

This is me, or a comic book rendition drawn by the hubby. He feels that this is a true to life representation of what I can become if you deprive me of the things that I feel are necessary in life.

1. Caffeine
2. Nicotine
3. Chocolate
4. Internet
5. My NATURAL HAIRCOLOR!

Ok, so I decided to highlight my hair. Yes, I know I'm a brunette that leans toward a dark almost black tone. So, what? I am turning gray, and decided why fight it, go with the flow and turn it to my favor, and highlight it. *snorts*

Therefore, I let my insane evil teen queen loose upon my head with what amounts to a labotomy tool. I'm not joking. This was a small metal knitting needle with a sharp end that she took supreme satisfaction in using to extract vengeance for each and every slight perpetrated upon her by myself either real or imagined.

It went a little something like this.. Picture me with one of them plastic caps on my head, which only fit right if you are a Conehead.. pah!

Mozilla:*Poke*.. hehhaahaha
Me: OW!
Mozilla: *Poke*..hehahahahah..
Me: OW THAT IS MY DAMNED EAR YOU LITTLE COW!
Mozilla: hehehehhhah oh hush. *Poke*
Me: OMG OMG YOU EVIL CHILD! Stop!!!


And hubby would come and check on us before running away again. He went to sleep before it was finished. She walked into the bedroom and he blearily looked up and automatically said. "Honey, your hair looks great." She then informed me that he was very well trained. I informed her that I'd worked hard on that and she should be damn proud. She said she was.

Thus, I am now a blonde, albeit a brassy one. *growls* A blonde.. ME!! I am not blonde material. She's a blonde, you know. In that, Brittany Spear-ish/Jessica Simpson-ish/Jessica Alba-ish way.. I'm not insulting her, she's a beautiful girl, my daughter. Her skin is a clear golden bronze, her eyes are the darkest brown and ..well, I hate her! So, she decides the get her revenge by turning me into this.. this.. BLONDE PERSON!! AAAAAAACK!

Now, I must make my way post haste to the Helmouth to buy something to fix it.. Two trips in two days, this is the best revenge she could ever devise.. I can hear her doin a bwhaahaha laugh.. She's good, very good, *sniffles* I'm so proud.

Jennzilla the Temporary Blonde
Proud Mother of the Mozilla

A Stud by any other name is still a stud right? Um, no..

So you choose a name for your hero or heroine you're set and you think that all's right in your creative world, the story is going along well and you get to the sticking point. And yes, girls and boys, I do mean STICK- ing.. *grins* and suddenly you think about something.

What would you do after yelling out the name Groucho? (this is an example I'm not naming my menfolk that, jeez! But a funny way thing happened on the way to the.. grrr!) Would you moan, groan, (not in a good way) laugh, snort milk up your nose- not that you have milk around but you get my drift- or just go meh, and leave the room to get a candy bar? Names are important, and apparently people are tired of the same old same old. But on the other hand, they don't want the cutsey spellings of the tried and true.

Matthew and Mark are old standards, but like blue jeans and shoes, the more you wear em, the better they feel . You could go the Beatles route, John, Paul, George or for the more exotic, Ringo. I always wondered where the heck his name came from, did he have laundry problems in the collar region? Or you could go far out man, and do Star, Moon, Garth, Free, Prince, Rafe (gag), Baz or the old tried and true, Satan. (yes, well, he's the one you don't take home to mother)

Names... are hard! I despise them. Ask any of my friends. I can pick either the girl or the boy's name right off the bat. Right now, I have a story called Vicky and that damned man. Meme picks on me about it. She's so mean to me.. *sighs* LOL

What's in a name? Power, that's what. The power to pull a person's attention to you, their eyes, their hearing, their very soul sometimes, with that one word that your mother and father stuck you with at birth. Unless you were brave and changed it.

So.. a rose by any other name may smell just as sweet but my hero's will always be bad boys with sort of normal sounding names, more than likely either shortened to a nickname as will the heroine's. It's my way. I'm a redneck after all, we're the champions of nicknames, because it takes us so damn long to say something that we take shortcuts where we can. BTW.. tomorrow is Friday.. woohoo!!


See yall later,
We are many, we are legion
We are.. yeah, it's a nickname, but it's still pretty potent..
Jenns!!!

Something strange is afoot at the Circle J

Happy Hump Day and it's all down hill from here. We're gonna slide down that slippery slope to Friday. Yes, that's right, I've begun to bandy the F-word around on my blog a few days early. Why? Because this is my blog and I can if I wanna. I figure if Friday hears itself being talked about maybe it'll run over and see what I'm saying, that way, maybe, just maybe, I'll get to the weekend a little faster. I'm not going to hold my breath on that, because blue is not one of my good colors. I'm more of a purple type of person, if you must know.

So, what's happening in my life? Not much unless you count the little twits stealing gas out of my car at night. That's right, I'm onto them. And I'll be watching, tonight and every other night. You never know when myself or the Mozilla will tap them on the shoulder with what they HOPE is an nonlethal weapon and say "This aint the damn Quickie Mart!!"... In fact, just now, I went outside and hollared at the top of my lungs..

THE COPS ARE COMING TO LOCK YOU UP! BWAHAHHAHAHA!

Yes, it did make me feel all happy inside. Tomorrow, I'll have spotlights, cameras and perhaps a supersoaker which I've had sitting in the fridge. Mozilla and Jennzilla are on the case. We've deputized Bear (a pom) and Kitty (a chow mix) and they will bite anything that moves, unfortunately, this includes us as well. *sighs* K-9's, they aint. In the case of poor tiny Bear, he's not even a K-2, he's so little, but he more than makes up for it in attitude LOL. Kitty, while large, is too soft and sweet, but she will follow Bear's lead in all things and he's mean as all get out, my ankle will attest to this.

Oh, the life of a redneck girl.
Jenna Leigh
aka Barney Fife

PS: Mozilla wants it known that she is doing this under protest as she is quite sure a bug will get in her hair and some junk. Like, mother, Gawd!!!! I want it known that I will not have those long legs wasted, she will be running.. She's the young cop in this equation, I'm the loud mean one. Art imitates life.. ffthththh