Maybe it's not nice to tease your critique partners

But man, sometimes it sure is fun..

When you have critique partners, the relationship is symbiotic at best and parasitic at worst. I am guilty of peering inside the dark and dusty confines my empty mail box and clearing my cyber throat and yelling the words WHERE AND THE HELL IS ITTTTTT? with the best of 'em, but hey, that's my basic personality. I'm not getting any younger, and seriously, I'm flattering the other person, and what's more, they know it. I will say that I'm usually nice about it and I've only written one evil ditty concerning strangulation if I didn't get my smut fix. It was an empty threat seeing how I don't fly and she lives in New Zealand, I don't think calling the cyber cops aka Glamazon and Gnome Nee on me was necessary. If not for Meme, I'd have been toast.

But, I digress as I usually do. Critiquing is a hard job. You have to be nice..er..ish or they'll cut you off, never letting you see the end product of what you've been getting in starts and stops the whole time in your inbox. I'm not usually the guilty one, but here lately, due to circumstances beyond my control, I've been unable to sit and write anything at all. So, when I could finally, I did and I sent it out to all and sundry, with a snarky missive at the top as is my wont to do. So, when I wrote a key scene where the heroine figures out what she's been doing in her life concerning guys and why she's been doing it... I sent it to my critique partners and at the end I put, sorry I had to stop, I was getting really tired.

Hey! I have a doctor's excuse, I've been ill. *cough cough cough*

The reply I got was very short, but that's just Kitta.

You. Are. Evil.

Nothing else but her signature line.

She's a bit scary. *shivers*

I'm not, I'm just mean, because my reply had one of those emoticons with the semi-smarmy smiles on it and I said back.

Why.. yes, I am. BWAHAHAHAH.

Perhaps tonight I shall satisfy her cravings for more. However I will point out that she does this to me all the time. I figure it's my turn to shine in the leave 'em hanging department. I've been waiting on one of her stories to be resolved for over a year. I won't say it's not worth the wait because ooh nelly, it so is. She's one of the best writers I've ever had the pleasure of reading. But once in a while, I like to make her give me her succient, angry replies. This means...

I've got her, right where I want her. I wonder if I can get chocolate out of this deal?


Jenna
Who knows she's safe in her redneck of the woods.
Or.. so I hope *gulps*

Let's Hear It For the Sacrificial Goats of the World

I work with a bunch of freakos and I wouldn't change that for all the tea in China. The powerball, that's a different story now. If I win that I'm outta there fast as my stumpy little legs will carry me. They know it and what's more, they'll cheer as I totter out the door with both middle fingers in the air. They also know I'm not pointin those fingers at them, but at..ok.. that's another story too, one that could get me fired, so I'll keep it to myself, in my dark bitter evil heart where it can fester and grow and .. er.. well, never you mind. BWAHAHAH!

Anways, the point is, and I do have one, believe it or not, is that despite the freako-ishness of my coworkers, I'm mighty proud of them. The one that works in front with me in particular today as a matter of fact. She, lets call her Evil Edith.. cuz, well, she is. Evil Edith.. EE for short joined the military when she got out of highschool oh so many years ago. *sings* She's older than me tra la la. By one year, but it counts. During her stint, she always gave blood.. ALWAYS!

We work in the hospital and they come round now, and she ALWAYS donates still. ALWAYS. I'd like to take this opportunity to say how much that means to me. Even though I did call her the sacrifical goat for our department.. because when they asked, I said EE went, I can't go! *blink blink blink* I must hold down ze fort! I am very very sorry. The big bad supervisor hid in the back, if you must know. Chicken. At least I have a valid excuse, I'm on meds that prevent me from doing so, or I would for real. And really would you want my crazy, chocy corrupted blood running round in your veins? Think about it.. Yeah, you'd be sayin yall and eatin tater salad before the day was out. Although this would help with my plans for world domination. Hmm, decisions decisions. Anyway..



To EE the Sacrifical Goat.. You're BAAADDD in all senses of the word. *salutes!*

Bok You,

Your Nemesis,
Jenn el Chicken

How did this happen?

When did I become ..nice? Someone tell me because, I'd really like to know.
For the longest time, the littlest member of our family.. my tiny sister-in-law of 2 years.. didn't really have much to do with me. She said hi, bye, and muah to me if prompted by my husband and daughter whom she loved best in all the world. My daughter is her a goddess to her because she's a) 14 years older b) 4 and a 1/2 foot taller and c) in possession of a varoom varoom that she will take her for rides in if the mood suits her. When you add up you get goddess.. oh yeah, you can see it shining out of her eyes when she whacks her with something, otherwise it's slavebearer to carry her across the large, muddy yard. If she's not available, my husband aka Bubby the slavebearer II will do just as well.

However around Christmas time, I was ill and went in her room to lay on her bed. My daughter warned me 'the bebbie' wouldn't allow it. I said um.. sheah she will. And flopped down.. surprisingly, I was given a stuffed animal and shoved against the wall and told to be still in de bebbie's bed, and otherwise ignored instead of yelled at and told in no uncertain terms to vacate 'de bebbie's' bed like she did everyone else. I'd open one eye and catch her staring at me before she'd turn back to the tv to watch The Mummy for the five thousandth time. *grunts*

In this she takes after her brother, my husband. He will watch a movie until I am so heartily sick of it I want to scream and throw it out the door, or stomp on it until it cracks. Better the DVD than his head, right? At least the child picks a movie where the scenery is nice. I can watch anything with a bevy of manly studmuffins parading across the screen.. so, I settle in for a bit of Brenden and Ohded watching, little knowing that I'd started something. Something verra bad. *sighs* See, she likes the Mummy, but it sort of scares her in certain parts, and the Mummy Returns (with the Rock ooh) even more so. However, as the ijits in the next room are usually either watching westerns (blech) or football (double blech) I will go in there when she points and lay on the bed to watch these two movies with her.

This has earned me a place in her little evil diapered heart. She is the queen bee of the yard already. As the baby sister of 4 grown brothers, and a baby girl of a man who never thought he'd have another at the age of 60yrs, she's rather spoiled and refers to herself as 'de bebbie' and her things as 'de bebbie's' as in 'de bebbie's' chair, room etc. So, when she asks you to come to de bebbie's room and watch de Mummy wit her it's funny and cute. She's two, I'm only human, deal! Plus.. *sighs* she has a nickname for me now. At first I thought she was calling me mommy, but she calls my daughter Morgan, Momo, and therefore, me being Morgan's mommy, I am the Mo Mee. *hangs head* Crap.. I gotta go.. I'm wanted in de bebbie's room for royal viewing of de Mummy. By golly it's better than Sponge Bob.


Yeah, you say one word, and I'm siccin her on ya,
Mo Mee

Good news, for the most part.

TRS gave me a pretty icon! Aren't they the sweetest? Like any magpie, I looove a good shiny! While I've always been up front about being a total shallow gal.. this brings it all out lemme tell ya! *stares at it* What was I talking about again? Does it really matter?

Look at the pretty shiny with me. Isn't it beautiful? What's it for again? Oh yeah!! Braless in the Buick, my debut novel about Allie Stephenson and Jake Donally. I love those two which is a good thing since I'm also talking about them this month in the Coffee Time Forums.

**

Spellfire Moons got a 5 Cup review from Missy Coffee Time

High Chairs and High Stakes
British-born Matthias Gregory is a single vampire who needs help taking care of his child. When he placed an ad for a nanny, he never expected to get a witch. In fact, a witch was the last thing he wanted help from. When Erin MacKenzie meets Matthias Gregory, a vampire raising his daughter alone, the witch-nanny finds that she’s bitten off more than she can chew.

This was an incredibly hot and sexy story and yet it was filled with mystery and tension. Who knew that Mathias would use his incredible sexy voice to record audio romance books? It was so fun and I really enjoyed reading it, and every other surprise and plot twist Mrs. Leigh threw at me.

Braless and Spellfire Are Available in Ebook

At Fictionwise

Braless has climbed back up to number 5 on Champagne's Fictionwise chart!! And for this month Champagne has Braless in the Buick on Sale in Print.

That's all my book news so far this month.. hey, it's been great so far!

As for me, well, my meemaw and my mamaw both said if you don't have anything good to say, it's best not to say anything at all. Therefore, I'll leave yall with a simple little non-rhyming bit of poetry that sums me up right now. It's called Ignorance, but not ugly kind. Think of it more like back when you were a kid and thought nothing bad could ever happen. I wish I could bottle that time and bring it with me tomorrow. I need it.. but I'll settle for a Starbuck Iced Mocha Venti for after. *winks*

Ignorance

By Jenna Leigh

Before it grew up
And knew about
Hate
Pride
Fear
Gravity
Anger
Race
Religion
Or even,
Death
Before it was
Something you should
Be ashamed of..
Ignorance was
Actually..
Bliss

Be seein ya in the funny papers,

Jenn

New Year New Me and They Like Me They Really Like Me

Oh, I sincerely doubt that, let me get that out of the way right up front. I never really make New Year's resolutions simply because I know my own faults very well indeed. They are sloth, laziness, and procrastination. If you're thinking that those first two mean the same thing, oh well, who cares? My strengths are a large quantity of bitter rage, the will to spew it, and the gall to do it with a smile. Ok, I'm not that bad... most of the time. *grins*

However, I've made up my mind to be a little better at some of the things I can change. So, here's my list for 2007

1. Write more every single day. Before I hit the mail list, the loops, or even turn on my messenger. Write something. It doesn't have to be on the same thing, just write. I have a tendency to get side tracked easily, and before I know it, I'm sucked into Cyber Land.. which if you must know has CyberChocy and CyberCrack available for free. Both are addictive as hell.

2. Be kind remember to unwind. I've got this thing going on right now with my shoulder, neck and head that I think is stress related. Numbness and tingling.. Ack! Gotta get rid of it, or I'm gonna need some surgery. No.. eek, no cutting. NO!

3. Walk. That's right outside, in the open air. Blech. Me, the hermit, communing with nature. I despise the outdoors with a passion. But I'm going to start making myself walk starting the first pretty day in January. *gag me*

4. Be there for my family. My daughter will be gone before I know it. I am the kind that tends to distance myself, emotionally and physically, for reasons I don't even begin to go into here, but I'm stopping that. She's growing up, almost grown, heck she IS grown.. sighs. My hubby's a saint and I'm the sinner in the relationship, maybe it's time to sin a little more with him. *grins*

5. Promo more. That's right. I'm a writer. However, I've never been comfortable with tooting my own horn to advertise that fact. I'm the aw shucks yeah, I wrote this and all type of person. Maybe it's a southern thing, maybe it's a girl thing, maybe it's that I don't want to be bragging and push away potential friends, or a combination of all that, but I'm proud of what I do. I'm good at it or they wouldn't keep saying yes to my submissions, right? Right! Call me the promo princess! The selling slu.. er.. I'll stop right there and say I'll put myself out there more.

In the interests of getting an early start, I'll do a little bit of that tonight.

Braless in the Buick earned a CAPA nomination in from The Romance Studio!

I was so surprised to see my name in the Contemporary Romance section and yes, very pleased as well! I'd like to take this opportunity to thank them for the nomination and thanks to Linda for the wonderful review she gave me that made me feel so good when I first started out. Those make a difference, no matter when you get them but to a new author, they make a world of difference.

Oh and just to let you all know that Braless in the Buick is on sale now at

Champagne Books in print form

and

Fictionwise in ebook

Happy New Year!

Jenna

Crazy Days of Christmas

You can't actually see ME, which is a good thing as I look like crap in this picture. However, the sign gives you an idea of how my trip to town went, I would have LOVED to have either of those two items today.

We'd planned to go to the mall, however, when we got about a mile from there, and saw that the line of cars waiting to get into the parking lot was at least that long, my husband and myself decided that discretion was the better part of valor and our small stash of Christmas cash would be better spent on gifts instead of bail money. So, we turned around and scooted back the way we'd come, and I found out that the ULM Starbucks has some pretty spiffy coffee. Yeehaw, go Warhawks! *gag me on THAT* but that's a different blog.

Off we did trot to ze Hellmouth as fast as our caffeine enchanced tootsies allowed which, if you must know is pretty darned quick. Go Java! Once there, hubby immediately made me go with him to toys. I've hypothosized (read ranted) that everything in the Hellmouth is centered around the toy and/or the electronics department so that to reach what you need you must pass these two things and therefore, you have to listen to your child/man whine that he needs this or that toy. I know this to be true as I've spent the last 16 years of my life in the possession of these two things--a child or man.

My husband could absolutely LIVE in the toy and/or electronic department. If he's not in one, he's in the other. I can get lost in this store, disappear *snaps* like that. He, on the other hand, will always in one of these places, scoping out the kewl new action figures *coughs* dolls *coughs* or else digging in that Hell's Pit of retail, the Bargain Movie Bin.

That's right, ladies, if your hubby goes missing, just trip right over to that section of the Hellmouth and I bet you'll see his legs waving around in the air as he's diving for D-Class dreck disguised as watchable cinema. Priced to move, this stuff will make into your living room where you'll be subjected to the antics of Bill and Ted, Bob and Doug, Dumb and Dumber, and Me Myself and Irene, a threesome from Hell if ever there was one, then again this is Hellmouth we're talkin about. I'm not sayin that there aren't some diamonds in the rough there, like Better Off Dead (ooh John!) or Big Trouble in Little China, which are classic cult hits, but they're few and far between and not worth the me having to tow him out of that pit by his ankles time and again.

However, today, he promised me that he had a game plan, he even had on his game face. Ha! The face lasted until he got out of toys and into electronics. Ooh, says he.. movies. "NO!" I say. "We have enough movies." But but but.. as he stutters, I attempt to tow him away from the endless array of movies. Alas, I failed and we brought home two more. Blech. Therefore I left him and went in search of the that mythical unmentionable .. a bra that fits.. HAA AS IF! However, it does make him flip out when he can't find me because I'm in the ladies' fitting room cursing beneath my breath as I fight with lycra and spandex two materials which I know where invented in Hell and wasn't the bra invented by a man? I come out of the fitting room to see the clerk giving me the worried 'OMG you've got a stalker' eye and look to see him standing there scowling. I smile and hold myself back from running him over with my cart; (more than once) put back the other five bras and keep the one that sort of fits. Yay me (pah)

Then we go and get ________ (this part of the blog has been censored due to evil nosy teen girl who may read) after that it's a bit of grocery shopping, a flyby trip to the book store, and then off to eat and HOME!! Oh no.. wait.. the dollar store for some bags then HOME!! oh dear wait... he wants me to go to the hometown Hellmouth. *sigh* Sometimes, I think he's addicted or more accurately possessed. I am going to have to see someone about this fetish of his.

Then, finally after seeing that my daughter is safely at McHell, working the window like the little minion she is, we finally oh finally come HOME! I'm ready to kill him until.. he puts on an elf hat with a bell on the end, sneaks off and wraps a present for me and smiles as he asks me with the biggest, shiniest, most Christmas-y eyes I've ever seen on a grown man if I'd like to shake it.

Sighs.. I've gone and caught the Christmas Cooties from my hubby the luv bug and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Merry Christmas Yall

Jenna Leigh

Coffee Time Romance and Champagne Books

Invites you to join us for our 2nd annual Christmas Party

Tonight Starting at 9:00 PM Eastern/8:00 Central

Special prize to ALL who attend!
http://www.coffeetimeromance.com/chat_entry.html

Five Favorite Christmas Songs

Kate Davies hit me with a Christmas Tag. No, not the sort that come on presents, though, that reminds me, I need to wrap some packages before my nosy family starts snooping around.

But, that would mean I had to get up off my lazy butt, so instead, I'll tell you my five favorite Christmas songs of all time.

1. O Holy Night-Preferably sung by Aaron Neville, because that man can put a hurting on a high note like nobody's business. Plus, I know this one by heart from all my years in church choir, so I can sing along, loudly, to my family's everlasting delight.

2. Silent Night-Again, I can sing along, or all by myself. Hmm, are you sensing a theme here? My family does, ooh, around Thanksgiving when I start flipping the dial to search out that one station that's started to play Christmas carols.

3. Silver Bells-Not much to do with the religious aspect of the holiday, but more the memories of a time gone by when people were nicer, even when shopping. I like to listen to it and smile happily to myself and think 'yeah as if' right before I walk into the mall. Then, reality sets in with a vengence. Those stop lights may blink a bright red and green, but the cop's lights a bright blue, yall. I didn't sock that lady, honest, officer, she ran into my foot, all ten times. *grins*

4. Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree-You can't listen to this and sit still and/or be quiet. I've loved this song since I was a little girl. I've known all the words since then too. Yeah, I sing it, and yeah, I do rock around the living room, shakin' my butt to the beat too. I'm sure Santa would approve.

5. Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas- This song is sad, and yet somehow manages to be hopeful at the same time. I've always loved Judy Garland's version best, perhaps because she manages to be sad and hopeful at the same time too. This may not be the tradional sort of carol, but Christmas is about hope and peace and looking for good in spite of the bad, and this song sums it up for me.

Those are my five faves.. but I'll sing along to any others I know, and there are quite a few, let me tell you. While I can carry a tune pretty well, I'm no Judy, that's for sure. But, Christmas has a way of making singers of us all.

Merry Christmas

Jenna

Becka has Tagged me! Bah Humbug

Four jobs I’ve had:
convenience store clerk
short order cook
secretary
Author (grins)


Four Places I’ve lived:
Marion
Dean
Haile
Bastrop

Four favorite foods:
Pizza
Sushi
Lamb
Ettouffee

Four movies I could watch over and over:
Rush Hour
Wizard of Oz
National Treasure
Kung Fu Hustle

Four TV shows I enjoy:
Heroes
Good Eats
Paula Deen
Little Britain



Four places I’ve traveled:
New Orleans
Baton Rouge
Dallas
Jackson MS





Four places I’d like to visit:
Ireland
Scotland
Paris
Italy


Four websites I go to (almost) daily:
Google
Yahoo
My Space
Coffee Time


Four people I’m tagging to do this too:

Mary Martinez
Karen aka Glamazon
Mechele Armstrong
Corrine/FeyRhi

Rated Auurgh.. or Oh Johnny *sighs*

My husband can be counted on to buy just about any movie under the sun that has fights and/or a lot of special effects in it, so I was sure he'd get POC2 when it hit the shelves of our local Hellmouth. I was right of course. You don't live with someone for as long as I have without killing them without getting to know their neuroses ummm.. cute little quirks.

He's a total movie geek. I'm not jokin' yall. He LOVES movies, and when DVD's hit, he went insane replacing all his VHS copies with the new improved versions, making sure to have them all wide-screen.

When the Star Wars movies came out he almost lost his mind wondering which he should buy because as we know, Lucas aka the devil likes to change his movies as often as third grade boys like to change their undies... or as often as he himself likes to change his own. I'm just sayin! Maybe if he was busy doin other things, he wouldn't be switchin up those movies for my man to be wasting his money one when he could be spending it on more important things.. like me! Where was I before I started this I'm a Star Wars Widow and Lucas is the Widow Maker Rant anyways? *looks at picture* Oh yeah!

Pirates.. *dreamy sigh* Ok, I'm quite sure that most of the ladies and all of the teenaged girls and a erm.. few of the men out there think that Orlando is the dreamier of the two, however. Nobody makes my knees dip like the Depp. In the movies, he's so delightfully ditzy and naughty that you can't help but know that he had fun camping up his role as Captain Sparrow. I did point at the screen at one point and inform my husband that Johnny stole his run, this didn't go over well as you can imagine, if you've seen Cap'n Jack mince across the sands with his arms in the air. Hmm. Maybe the boys like Cap'n Jack too. My hubby, Orlando and Johnny's appeal aside and I know about it from eye witness knowledge about the first of those and secondhand from the countless sites dedicated to the latter two in photoshopped clenches. *wince* Moving on, and hopin hubby don't read my blog where I've just told he's been hit on.. and that there's no sites dedicated to him either.

Oh but ew, did Davey Jones have to have tentacles on his face?! All I could think was, well, if he get's hungry he can always hack one off and fry it up for calamari. Blech. But you won't be disappointed with the action in this movie, there's lots. It's also sort of darker, and more violent too. I know you go come on! There's buckles to be swashed, planks to be walked, but really this is a kid's movie, and there are bits that are scary, for little kids, not me.. um.. I'm not goin to revisit my humilating moment in the theater at the Harry Potter movie with the spiders.. I'm not and well, yall can't make me. Suffice to say, the f-bomb was dropped, repeatedly. GAH!

By now you've realized that this post was only an excuse for me to put up a picture of Johnny Depp.. ahhh Johnny.. I loved the movie but my eye was on the Sparrow the entire time. It's true, then there's the fact that if I say more, I'll spoil the whole thing for you. Can't do that, it goes against the code. Even rednecks have a code.

Land Ho,

Dread Pirate Jenna

Ho Ho Ho .. oh Just Shoot Me!

Just shoot me… Honestly, why in the world did I let my hubby talk me into going shopping today of all days? Of course, I did need to get those last minute Christmas gifts out of the way. *pauses* Ok, if the truth be known, I needed to get ALL my gifts.. Yeah yeah, I hear you, go ahead and boo at me. I'm no scrooge, I like to give, but I hate to shop. Factor in that I’m a princess of procrastination, a champion of puttin’ off today what I'll wait til the last minute to do next week and you have a retail disaster of epic proportions. And today, was no exception.

First of all, I'd told the darling teen queen of mean that she couldn't come with because..
One: She had to be to work at McHell by six and this would severely curtail my shopping time as I didn't get off work til 1: 30.
Two: We planned on buying the little darling some presents today. How the crap do you get the nosiest child on the planet, nay, in the known universe anything when she's right there asking Whazzat? Huh? Is it for me? Can I have it now? I don't need things under the tree? Please, come onnn!
Not that I actually have my tree up. *sighs* Yeah, I'm the grinch, sue me.

Our first stop was the mawl. I purposefully use my regional pronunciation of this word to both entertain you and show what it can do to the unwary shopper. Yes, mawlllll. We say it like that down here in the deep south. But beware, you can be mauled if you go in there without being prepared to wait in line and/or deal with twits who have no clue as to their main purpose in life. This purpose, I'm sorry to tell ya, is to serve ME! That’s right, Jethro and Jethra, you ain’t there to file your nails, chew bubble gum and roll your eyes. You are to step up to the counter when I walk up to it, and ask me if you can help me. I got the money, you got the time, savvy?
So, I spent no money in the mawl except at the lovely wonderful Starbucks *big caffeine grins* as they know how to treat an addict, I mean customer. They even write my name on my cup with a big fat black marker and everything. Besides, I didn't find jack crap. Eh.

However, hubby successful in another unnamed store, albeit peeved about his experience. While I distracted evil child with food, he hoofed it down the midway and got er.. something. He told her, I’m buying this and need to hide it from someone that’s with me. She smiled widely and stuffed it in the bag with a conspiratorial wink and then proceeded to spritz it with the store perfume thereby giving what amounts to the BAT SIGNAL to all and sundry, especially my child what's in the bag. He grumbled about listening to the whole spiel without even getting a glimpse of the signature sexy women in the glittering bras and wings. He was most put out about the whole project. I bought him a muffin in Starbucks to make up for it and I only ate half of it. Ahh, I feel the Christmas Spirit welling up inside of me..

Then, we went to get his frickin comics. *waits for an eternity after he goes inside*
Dear God Mama, what's he doin in there?
Dunno..
Go get him
No
Lemme out I will
NO
Yes
NOOO
OMG, I'm gonna die... *whines, wails, gnashes teeth*
*ten minutes after hell freezes over he comes out* What are yall glarin' at me for?
Nuthin.. just get in the car, Daddy before we die of hypothermia. (she can get all uppity when peeved you know)

And then we're off.. to saints preserve us.. the Hellmouth. I go in and immediately start looking for presents. Hubby stays with me, daughter takes off to parts unknown. She has her cell and hubby has mine, why? I have no idea as he doesn't know how to use it. It's in his pocket, it rings and vibrates, but he won't answer it. I ask why, he just stares at me like a deer caught in the headlights. "Uh.. what?" Making me snatch it from him and snarl in the middle of the Hellmouth. Does he not know they will pull me into the fold thinking I am one of the devil's own? Sheehs! However, I get pressies.. so I am soothed for a moment.. til HE DISAPPEARS! I turn and he's vanished, then he gets all iffy saying we did it. Well, no, not even.

Then the freak insists I go into BAMM. I am too tired for a round with Book Nazi and Moth Man, however, I did get Broken by Kelly Armstrong.. Wahhooo! I reread Industrial Magic today and it was as good as I remembered. I'm going to read Haunted as I've never gotten around to it. Love those books. Where was I? Ooh yes! He stopped at the Raisin Canes (blech) Got his icky food that he makes me hold so he can eat while driving (double blech)

And the race to Strop City is on! We make it just in time for daughter's work.. she changed in the back seat. *sighs* She gets that from her grandmother, I swear. Then he takes me to the Hellmouth in our hometown. Two trips to Hellmouth in one night! I think I need an exorcist.
Or more likely a good divorce attorney.



My heart my grow three sizes
but it shrinks right back the day after Christmas


Jenna The Redneck Grinch

Champagne Christmas..

Happy Holidays from Jenna Leigh and Champagne Books!

Jake and Allie don't stand a chance against the Neighborhood Inquisition when they set their sights on getting them together. That's not a fiddler on the roof, it's the nosy neighbor with her night vision goggles in the gazebo, beside her is the lusty housewife with her sex-files, along with the mystical misfit and the diva ex sister in law all with the heroine's best interests at heart. Put them together and you have literary weapon guaranteed to split your sides with laughter. So, pick up a copy of Braless in the Buick today, you'll be glad you did especially right now because it's on sale at Champagne Books, just in time for the holidays!

Give the gift of love and laughter this season with a copy of Braless in the Buick and other select print titles on sale now at Champagne Books!

Champagne Books

So, I watched a movie that isn't for kids.

I've begun to like my child working at McHell quite a lot. It frees mine and hubby's evenings up for things like watching Clerks II without having to worry if MAYBE she shouldn't be watching that sort of thing. The answer is no, she isn't gonna. I'm not really sure if I should have watched it, but I'm glad I did. I love revisiting the old characters and meeting the new ones. Elias was funny, and hearing about Mr. Pillow Pants made me laugh so hard my head hurt. Do I want to watch it again? Do I have a choice is the real question. My hubby's movie habits are somewhat obsessive if you must know. He'll watch the movie until he's got it memorized and then he'll watch it again.


Anyoo, the movie was the raunchiest, crudest, silliest mess I've ever had the fortune to watch. I love the Dante character, because I've been a clerk myself. I've never been a dealer, but umm Kevin Smith is back as Silent Bob, and yeah Jay, the poster boy for Ritalen is back too, though, he seems to be more.. erm.. mellow? Maybe they sprang for him some qualudes this trip or something, I dunno.

I recommend this but only to those that don't get easily offended because they cover it all: sex(of all sorts), drugs, religion, race, creed, bestiality and if that wasn't bad enough, they even pick on LOTR and the poor Transformers. Gah! But, I liked the ending.

Oooh, but I did see the trailer for another one that I am SO going to see one that seems to have just hooked a hose up and SUCKED my hubby's life then blew it out onto the movie screen called FanBoy. It's all about STAR FREAKING WARS! (see previous post titled I am a Star Wars Widow) There is a scene where StarWars geeks meets the Star Trek WARRIORS *ahem* that made me hoot. Of course, I know and you know that if that ever happened I'd *coughs* I mean Star Trek would win. Yes.. cause I mean, I'm not a Trekkie, oh no no, a Star Wars Fan and a Spock Lover cannot co-exist all know that. It would be a warzone, and I'll say again, I'd win.




Spocks Gurl 4-ever
(oh, shut up, Glamazon)

Jenna Leigh

I'm late, but still thankful

I've been a little busy with family visits, and then doing edits on the Wyvern(whoohooo yeah! *shaking the butt* Go Faelen, it's yo birthday uh huh! *coughs*) and revamping my website, but I'm still very thankful, for a lot of things too..

As I'm a redneck, number one on my list will ALWAYS be..

My mama..
She's wonderfully wise, witty, funny, mean (yeah, this is a good thing) sweet, smart, and full of life. Twice my age with three times my energy, I hope to be like her when I grow up.

My husband..
Compassionate, strong, caring, and easy going enough to put up with ME for the past eight and a half years. He's the one person I know I can count on no matter what. Love you hubby.

My daughter..
Smart, sweet, funny, and just mean enough to say no to the boys. That last one I'm REALLY thankful for. LOL! She's a capable minded girl, and I'm so glad she's mine.

The rest of my family..
They're all pretty cool. They don't try to kill me or each other too often and when they do, it's always entertaining enough to make it either into my stories, or at the least into my blog. Who could ask for anything more outta kinfolk? Except maybe some more sausage bread from my aunt. *whines*

My life..
I've got it pretty good. I have enough to eat, a warm place to sleep, clothes to wear, a job that I can say I hate, yet still keep. I'm also lucky enough to have another life as an author, which gives me the freedom to express myself in ways that I never thought possible, and probably keeps me from killing the folks at my dayjob, that I hate.. ok, I said that before, but it needs repeating.. not that I'm not thankful for it. *winks*


Thankfully yours,

Jenna

PS: Oh crap! I'm ever so grateful for the Evil Feline Overlord, slayer of junebugs, lizards and the odd mouse. *bows low* Forgive me my master. Pffth.

Sexiest Man Alive

My real pick for Sexiest man is this guy, but hey, I'm not the owner of the magazine..

I'm a romance author, right? So, technically it could be considered research if I say, SNATCHED the People's Magazine off the rack at the Hellmouth and tossed it into my buggy faster than a choc-o-holic pulls the wrapper off a Hersey's Kiss. I'd know about that, as I'm addicted to both handsome faces and the cocoa bean's wonderful by-product. I need inspiration for my leading men after all. They have to have that certain something that makes women want to hop into bed with them, to read about them for over five pages, and well, I mean.. *sighs* Fine, I'm shallow as crap! On one of my loops today I admitted freely that I'd never read the articles in Playboy if I were a man. I also buy books for the cover, and what a cover this book had.

Two words: George Clooney

By themselves they aren't too much, ok, Clooney is a pretty well-known name in Hollywood. Rosemary was a wonderful woman, warm, witty, fun and her voice made you stand up and take notice. Nick Clooney, not so much, but I think he's handsome too.

However, George has always been this mouthwateringly handsome man with dark eyes and a snarky smile that lets you know he's thinking bad things .. or hoping he is anyway. He's also got this sarcastic wit that he usually aims at himself that I really love. Lot's of women realized his sex appeal in ER, but I've I've loved him since he was in Facts of Life, therefore, I have dibs. Yes, I am that old, yall shut up.

If it were only George in the magazine, I'd be happy, but imagine my delight when I turned the pages (wet with drool as they were, I did manage) and found Matthew McHottyheyhey and oh my stars and garters, Hugh Jackman as well, urm.. I may sort of kinda you know think he's kinda hot. *coughs* I flipped past some of the less than stellar entries, and almost thought the rest of the book was a bust I see Johnny Depp (OMG!) and ooh yeah Josh Holloway, who is fast becoming one of my favorite reasons to watch TV. Ah, yes, life is good. Damn the research.. I'm just gonna stare until I rub the glossy sheen off, then maybe I'll go and buy myself another copy. I do wonder if they are tax deductible and if I get paper cuts, can I get workman's comp?

Signed
Jenna Leigh
The Shallow Gal

A Tale of Two Liberties

Last week I posted about the death of my grandfather in law. Well, we all gathered together to give him a proper redneck waking, which is to say, all of his children, grandchildren and greatgrandchildren came in from around the US to say goodbye and eat and .. get drunk. *raises brow*

So, once all of the family arrived, the babies were kissed, tears were shed, and pantyhose were bought, we got ourselves ready for the funeral. The two children, four grandson, and two granddaughters were put up front and then, we attempted to corral the smaller ones, however, this is easier said than done. But, that helped distract us from our grief, and since it was mostly family, we didn't really care that the baby did the backstroke on the carpet at her Bubba's feet. Nobody but the preacher saw her anyway.

Then it was the trip to the graveyard, over 30 miles away in my neck of the woods. Yes, I'm a transplant, having moved away from my old hometown to live with the love of my life, in another Parish, my mother is most put out. We all line up in our pickups, SUV's and all, and the sheriff's car gets in the front and turns on his lights... as do we, as this is a new law, put in place by our darlin gov. *frowns* She needs to deal with the real issues and leave things like lights during funerals and helmets, etc alone, but that's another blog for another day.

Anyhoo, as we leave one parish and head into another, yet another policeman takes over our escort. At the stop signs, policemen wait with their hats off and their badges covered, which is a very nice thing to do, and always makes me tear up when I see it.

The trouble begins when we hit the bridge leading into MY old Parish. Oh the joy! We head off to the Y that leads to the town that holds the graveyard that will be Joe's final resting place, but we don't go Right.. no we go LEFT. I say, in my sweet dulcet tones, "Why are we going this way? Does not this smart policeman know the way to Liberty?" (yes, I did say this!) Ok, fine, I yelled at the top of my voice that we were going the wrong way and the po-po was insane, are you happy? It did no good, but I felt better.

Like lemmings we follow him for over 35 miles over hill and dell through some of the most twisted pathways and pig trails that F-ville has to offer until you have to practically pipe in sunshine. We pass a sign that says: Liberty Baptist Church with an arrow pointing down the road to take.. the policeman goes right past it. Again, I point, again I yell, again, we follow, like dumb ducks, until finally we begin to see granite headstones. Then, I notice something about the church at the end of the circle drive. First off, Liberty Baptist doesn't have a circle drive and secondly, it isn't white with a steeple.

They've brought us to the wrong church. They've brought my pawpaw in law to the wrong planting place! OMG in heaven!! The horror, the humanity, the utter unmitigated gall and atrocity! The.. *snorts* Ok, I laughed. Yes, I did. See, the name of this church is Liberty Hill Baptist the name of the church we're supposed to be at is Liberty Babtist Church. Now, what's in a name you ask? Well, about 15 dollars worth of gas and 5 inches off the short fuse of our uncle's temper! I thought he and the DH's daddy were gonna whack that cop! Good thing there was a handy graveyard to bury him in huh?

So, we all turned around in the convenient circle drive and went back the way we'd come, more than likely giving the people we'd just had pull off on the shoulder the idea they we'd just chunked our deceased relative in the hole and ran. We did make it to the correct church and we did lay Joe to rest beside his beloved Mae.. and you know, I'm betting he laughed too. He liked riding round and this time he bought all of us along for the ride.



Comments heard after the funeral..

"Gosh the trip back didn't take long at all! "
"Why didn't we go back the way we came?"
"Where we lost?"
"Did yall see that dog and quail statuary? How tacky OMG!! I want one."
"Why is the cop in such a hurry?"


Give me Liberty or give me death, but give me the right one!

Jenna

PS: No, I did not shoot the sheriff. But my father in law shot the deputy (the finger)
PPS: Good news was, no goats in the graveyard this time. Or Emus. Or Jackasses. Did I mention this is the woods? Do I really gotta?

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For Joe

I've already lost my grandparents.. maternal and paternal, however, one lone person stepped in to fill the void, and did so admirably for a very long time, and his name was simply, Joe. Not papaw, grandpaw, or any other moniker for me, as I had all those in the past, just a simple Joe would do. After his wife of many years passed away, he began that slow slide into old age that we all saw but chose to ignore in favor of believing he'd live forever, despite his own protests and yes, wishes to the contrary.

I knew he loved her and missed her very much indeed. He lived in that house without her to fuss and fight with him for seven long and lonely years and I knew it was hard, but he did it for one reason: grandkids. Wait, let me clarify, great-grandkids. The babies, the little ones and up until a few months ago, you could just say, the girls, then my hubby's brother finally broke the curse and made a little boy.

So, after drifting along in a life that must have seemed half full, made only brighter by the visits of the children of his grandchildren, and yes, the most recent addition to the family by his own son, Joe somehow kept his cheerful demeanor around him. I knew he missed her, as he'd tell us. I knew he felt his time was nearing an end, as he informed me of this when he had an xray during his last hospital stay. His "I'm bout ready for the boneyard." was met with a, "Aw, Joe, don't say that." by me and a hug. But, somehow, I felt he meant it this time.

With him, I've seen my own child have contact with someone who is older and wiser and she's learned patience. She's very good with the elderly,and I'm proud of her. With him, I've seen that old age is a sly and steathly thing that slips up on you without you really knowing it's happening until it's too late to do anything about it but sit there in your chair and let it run its course. With him, I've learned that heredity is alive and well and you'll reap what you've sown in the form of your grandchildren. One took him for long rides, another is shy and quiet, yet another is stoic, and all, including my husband are remarkably good with children.

I know that looking into his face, hearing his soft, time-worn voice, and even hisstoop-shouldered shuffle are like stepping into a time-machine and going into the future fifty years to have a gander at my husband. To look at Joe, his own son and my hubby and his brothers from the back was like looking at the same man, at 20 year intervals, spooky and strangely comforting. Like some cosmic continuity was in place, a greater hand at work, Father Time maybe? I don't know.

However, the most wonderful gift that I have from Joe, is my husband himself, for I know he got his honor, his heart and his patience from the man that used to sit in the chair and play school for hours on end with a bossy little girl. And allow that same bossy little girl to put stickers and glitter on his face. That man, will always be our Joe, and one day, I know he'll be my Bill too. Until then, I'll miss him.




Love ya,

Jenna Leigh

Oh, why the picture? Well, I'd like to think that he's up there with MY pawpaw, and right about now, fishin'. Maybe their wives are fussin at them about it too, as it should be, like it was, when they were all here, as matched sets.

Five Ribbons from Romance Junkies for Spellfire Moons!

I'm so psyched! And,yes, still psycho, it is still Monday, after all.





HIGH CHAIRS AND HIGH STAKES is a brilliant story. The baby, Aurora, is adorable. While reading this story I could see it playing on a movie screen in my head. I laughed at Aurora’s baby antics. Matthias and Erin are two people made for each other, their love helped them to over come the evil that was threatening their lives and happiness. Shayla--Romance Junkies

To read the rest, click on the banner below.



Yeehaw!



Jenna Leigh

Nanowrimo

No not Nano nano .. but National Novel Writing Month. You see if you can write 50,000 words in the month of November. I'm using it as a motivational tool to write Dateless. Yes, I know I've written on it.. However, I found out it supposed to be BIGGER. No, that's not a bad thing. Giving me a bigger yard to play in is very very good news, so, I'm counting all I have from this day forward and by then, it'll be 50,000 words. Will I win? I dunno, I mean I did write 50K last year, and submitted it. And after edits, and additions, that novel, The Wolf's Heart was accepted by Samhain Publishing (SQUEEE!) However, this year I have edits to do on, that novel and The Wyvern with Champagne Books and The Moon of Tigre with Midnight Showcase etc.. Hmmm, but the real IMPORTANT question is: Will I beat Glamazon, Sgt. Brie and all the rest of my friends? *rubs hands together* Oh, I hope so.. muhahahahahahahhahah!

Signed
Jenna Leigh
aka
Mad Cow Chocy Voodoo