Today, Paco, the Wundah Dawg lay on the back of the recliner waiting to ambush me when I walked in the door. What happens when I do is that he balances on his hind legs and 'hugs' me with a little sigh of happiness. Awww, how sweet, right? Yeah, whatever. Oh be quiet. I'm not heartless or anything. I fell for it, of course. Picked him up, letting lick my face, without a thought about what else he'd been licking before I'd come home. *ew* Anyway, he was so happy to see me, I decided to take him for his walksies right then and there instead of making him wait until I'd changed clothes and shoes.
So, I snapped on his leash, and let him drag me out the door and down the steps. Keep in mind that he weighs all of 7lbs, so there isn't much dragging going on. Basically, he runs to the end of his leash and wigggles his front paws really fast in the air barking until I catch up and he has slack to move forward again. This happens over and over, with him stopping to pee on every bush in the yard until I get tired of having my arm jerked and pick him up and take him back inside.
This is what usually happens, however, when Paco went to hike his teeny leg to loose the wundah wee, I took the one step to the left, to make sure I didn't get caught in the back spray. When I did, I stepped in an indentation, and turned my ankle. There was a horrible crunching noise and I went down! No I did NOT get peed on. Ick!
I think dogs are confused about human anatomy, because for some reason, Paco was convinced that standing on my back and barking really loud was very helpful. That or he just thought it was fricking funny. Either way, he kept doing it, while I screamed for my hubby to, "Come get this little demon dog off my back!"
I'll admit that the barking lent enough urgency to my screams to make JMo run really fast. However, as I was laying on the ground, he just stood on the porch asking, "Where the hell are you et?" in Hickenese. I felt like throwing the dog at him.
"Get over here and help me, now." I know I growled it but it led him to me.. FINALLY!
"Oh. My. God! Paco, what did you do?" His shock made wonder if he seriously thought this incident would go down in the annals of 'When Dogs Attack!!' You see the picture of my dog, yall. He's .. he's.. *snicker* he's a munchkin.
Anyway..I finally get the point across that I've hurt my foot. And that Paco's hasn't gone all Mini-Cujo and went for the jugular, as if he could reach it without a ladder and stilts.
JMo got me into the house with much cursing and a quite a few tears.
Don't worry, neither of them cried long. JMo ate supper and was fine. As for Paco, well, I'm thinking of calling in that pet whispering fellah, he's kinda cute. And yes, that EFO stood at the door the whole time glaring at us. I know what he was thinking too. "This is what you deserve for getting the dog in the first place. I hope it's broken. MEOWHAHAHHA!"
The Walking (well, limping) Wounded