Sunday, October 29, 2006

At Last My Muse Has Come Along

And I jumped on that horsie and rode like there was no tomorrow. Ok, so I mixed a song, and a metaphor and I basically called my muse a jackass. And you wonder why she doesn't visit often despite my offerings of chocolate, coffee and various southern fried foods.

Other authors will say write something no matter what, and I usually do too, but lately, I haven't been able to stay awake long enough to write much more than my name, let along a complete sentence, so I didn't even bother. However, last night, I sat down and well.. IT happened. I'm attributing it to my lovely vacation time spent in New Orleans, hence the picture. *grins*

Sometimes, it's like little people get together in my brain and begin to knit these bits and pieces of stories together into a something that I can turn in, like a craft project to my editor and publisher with a "See? I did it, I made this." I feel like a little kid home from camp, proudly showing something to their mom and dad. That I did have a productive time while away.. I can almost hear the tiny needles clacking together and the wee people talking back and forth as they decide that the heroine will do this so the hero will do that. And if it's a comedy, well, someone will very soon be acting like a complete and utter idiot. I'm rather good at writing one of those sorts of characters, you know, for some odd reason. Hmm, I wonder why?

Sharlene and Cade are FBI agents, but that doesn't rule out a bit of insanity now and then. Oh when the chips are down, don't think they can't and won't kick butt, in fact, if I'm not mistaken, Sharlene can kick it better than both her male counterparts and they know it.

I always try and make my characters real.. most of the time I just make them real mean and crazy, especially the women, but I like to keep them lovably so, I hope I succeed with Sharlene and Cade..

So, here's an excerpt that shows the women of Peony Heights aka The Neighborhood Inquisition and the men who, love them.

Unedited Excerpt of Dateless in the Dodge

Cade, Patrick, and Doug huddled around the window of the Secret Hideout watching the strange happenings in the yard. "Hmm." Patrick squinted. "I didn't know Merry could kick her leg that high. She's been holdin' out on me, the little dickens."

A small creak heralded the arrival of Frank. "I knew Dana could, which is why I'm coming in the back way. She gets a bit antsy after those workouts."

"Aw, poor Frank." Doug laughed. "Barely a moment's peace."

"Ssh, listen! She's giving them a piece of her mind." Patrick cracked the window.

"Ew!" Sharlene shook her head. "I didn't want him here!"

Who was she talking about? Him, of course.

"But, Shar, he's nice." Allie put her arms around her knees.

Gabby yelled in what seemed to be agreement. Cade smiled at that. At least the baby loved him. Sharlene paced back and forth. Despite her anger, he couldn't help but notice the way her skin glowed from her workout. The sun made her hair shine too. He had it bad. "What we have here is a failure to communicate." She whipped around and paced the other way.

"Is she quoting Cool Hand Luke?" Doug stood and walked to the window.

"Um..."Patrick seemed to be thinking about it. "Yeah."

"I didn't want that man here muckin up my plans. And I have some deep and dark plans the likes of which you have never seen!" She held up one finger.

"What plans?" Neeley's radar went haywire at that.

"I will share these plans with you at the time and place of my choosing." Sharlene put her hands behind her back, her shoulders straight. She looked like the soldier he knew she'd once been.

"When will this be?" Allie ventured to ask.

"When your men folk ain't listening in from the Secret Boy Shack behind me." At that, she whipped her head around and pinned them with a glare.

"Ack!" Patrick screamed.

Gabby's head popped up and she yelled, "Pah!" in a tone that would not be denied.

Doug glared at the offender. "Ah damn, we've been routed by a baby and a blonde FBI agent. This is all your fault, Patrick, you wear too much cologne."

"I do not." But Patrick stomped out of the shed to go down and gather the baby up so they could play with her new pink tool set he'd bought just for her.

Cade frowned. "But, what about Mission Impossible?"

Frank clapped him on the back. "Called on the count of girls."

"Ooh Frank." Dana's dulcet tones rang out across the yard.

"Ha ha! You're busted too." Doug snickered.

"Doug, honey? Did you get the weed eating done yet?"

"You sure you want to get tied down, man?" Doug sighed and walked out of the shed with his shoulders bowed.

May all the chocolate you eat go to your muse's hips..
Jenna Leigh

Monday, October 23, 2006

New Orleans Cont..

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting I got to talk to Sherrilyn Kenyon!! Yayy! I didn't faint, so I went home and ate some of the chocolate that Ange gave me. Only one piece (ok,four, yall shut UP!) She was so sweet, which is what everyone says, but since it's true, I'll repeat it. She was. Not as sweet as that chocy, but damn close. *licks lips* I may have some of it left. I need to hurry up and finish this dang blog. Go AG!!

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting This is the pic of Ange as promised. She pretended to be a rabid fan and asked me to sign her copy of my book amid fake squeals. I felt like a Beatle. I signed it Jennzilla. *grins*

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting Karen on the phone on the way from the airport. Nee and I did not cry, I don't care what they say. *sniffles*

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting Meme hugging a gator. I hope she didn't contract salmonella.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting Please do not attempt this trick at home. I am a professional Po'boy eater. I have eaten big fat sannies all my life. My jaws unhinge at the back, seriously.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting The Freaktastic Four at the Hard Rock Cafe`. We had a great time with the rest of the gang. I have pictures but won't post til they say I can. In other words, I have pictures but will keep them for blackmail purposes.

I will say this: I loved New Orleans, my experience with the LaSalle Hotel was nothing but great. The staff was zany, quirky and fun, yet efficient. Meme and I had all the towels and soap we needed, the TV and AC worked (thank you GOD!) and it was clean and well priced.

Everyone in the city was nice to us, they asked us where yall from. The others gave their answers. When I began mine.. they'd stop me. "Hon, we know where you're from.." *pauses* Do yall think that I have an accent? *snort* The only time we had a problem was at House of Blues. The man said you ain't comin out this way, I don't care who ya are. Meme and I gave our puppy eyes and he glared.. then hooted and told us, he was just playin. Then asked where ya from.. again informing me I needn't answer and then asking me if I knew where Springhill and Shreveport was. I do and he seemed delighted.

We even *gasps* went out at night for the Haunted History Tour. Our guide was fun. He told us at no time would a person jump out at us in a mask with a knife as part of a tour. If this happened it was called a mugging and to see him on tips on running and/or screaming and running. This didn't happen of course. I did have to walk with the slightly drunken weenies you see with me below out side of Jean Lafitte's.
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My camera was acting up, so here is the only pic that looks half decent from the tour.

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I met people that I've known for years, I made new friends, renewed old acquaintances and yes, had a wonderful time. Now, I have go back to work tomorrow. Will I be the same old person? Maybe, but I'll be sure and say that the streets weren't littered with the bodies of the dead. I didn't see any gators, foxes or even rats, I did a dead possum on the side of the road once I got about a mile from MY house. The people didn't steal me blind, they aren't surly, or grumpy or any of that sort of thing.

New Orleans is still struggling in some spots, but what I saw was beautiful and old and mysterious and just plain awe inspiring. I loved it, and I'll go back again at the earliest opportunity I get. I hope you'll give it a try too. We that would be four women and sometimes only two, walked that city in the dark.. we're safe if not sane.

So, don't listen to the rumors, go and see for yourself. Be smart as you would in any large city. I did go into the red light district and ew, not my cup of tea, but I still didn't get mugged or anything. In fact the only person who was spoken to in even a mildly harsh tone was Meme and that was on the phone by *coughs* my mama *coughs* when she answered my cell. LOL!!!

What did you learn in this blog? New Orleans is nominally safe (now that I'm gone) it's still fun, and KCon and Sherri were wonderful. Oh and don't mess with a redneck mama's chick cause she'll unpack the good knives and come after your butt in a hot second. Meme thinks she was evil, heck, that was her nice voice. I do get it honest.

Maker of the best sweet tea ever *winks*

PS: Thanks to Ange for the Godiva Chocy and her enactment of Jenn-fandom (((HUGS)))
Karen.. I have the card.. I shall be using it soon.. very soon. Starbucks will know me and despair!
Meems.. F**K Phil!
Nee the bridge didn't kill us it only made us smoke more
Mary.. so wonderful to meet you, finally!
Sollipop.. you shall pay for the chair.. and your evil hubby too
Mels! I finally got to meet you too! Redneckit up!
Nipps.. I've decided the bandages were but a ploy to cover up your hairy Hobbit feet
Mo.. thanks for the bag!
Tiff C is for Coookiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeee!
Jacs, Tink, Cy, Mama Lo and all the rest I know I'll forget, Whooooooohooo!
To Lauren who was freakin cool enough to let me smoke with her! *lights one up*
Oh and the Crazy Train riverdancing girl whose name I can't spell, you so frickin rocked!
I hope to see you all again real soon.
The good times rolled.. and rocked too.

PPS: I just got an email sayin that I can start edits on The Tail of the Wyvern! Yeah baby! *sighs* I don't even care that Tuesday is Monday yall.. *grins*


Sunday, October 22, 2006

New Orleans: I went.. I saw.. I walked all over the dang place

We the members of the Kenyon Cult..

And yall, I mean that in the best possible way I can say it. I've been a fan of Sherrilyn Kenyon since I picked up Fantasy Lover and opened the page and saw the pencil sketch of Julian's man chest. I sighed over the color of the cover itself (red) I drooled over the premise (paranormal) I hooted over the snarkfest the females had with each other within the opening paragraph. Plus, it happened in N'Awlins. Whoohoo!

That was the beginning of my love of all things Dark Hunter. Even though Julian wasn't an actual DH, hellooooo NURSE he's hot! and he's still one of my all time faves. I flipped over to the back of that book, saw her website and well, the rest is if not history then some serious chaos and disorder, and while my work on a certain fanfic loop is done, I'll never be free of my addiction.

Where's this lurve-fest all going you ask? Well, I'm getting there. This is a two part blog to show both my love and affection for a wonderful author and person and my love and affection for a wonderful city.

Day 1: I get on a bus with my hubby and daughter both about to step on their lips as they wave me off so I can meet the Neegnome aka Sgt Brie in Jackson Miss for our overnight stay before we head on into New Orleans the next morning to meet with some of the Kenyonites at Commander's Palace for lunch. I bought a small cd player and some used cd's at the last minute to make the trip go faster as I couldn't make my MP3 thingit work (read that Mozilla couldn't do it *pffth!*) As I listen to the Desperate Housewifes one, which is pretty good if I skip those talking bits, the lady I am sharing a seat with keeps scooching me over, therefore, I switch cd's to... Eric Clapton's greatest hits. As I cue up I Shot the Sheriff, I feel all empowered to push her back over to her side. I shall NOT give up my side of the seat to some ill-tempered woman that has a titch more 'back' than me. Nay, nay, thrice nay (nobody died on the bus trip)

Nee calls "Where the hell are you?"

Me: "I'm on da bus" the unspoken, 'with a seat hawg' must come through loud and clear because she snickers and tells me to call her when I'm almost there.. I do and she's waiting for me at the stop. I call hubby and daughter and they sniffle. Aww (ahahahahha! I'm free wweeeee!)

We fly to the hotel room like ninnies, yak and then snore for the rest of the night. Nee sets the alarm and asks for a wake up call being so prepared and some junk. *blink blink blink*

Day 2: The alarm goes off, she kills it.. the phone rings, she kills that too. But me, being this wonderful morning person *cringes at the lightening* gets up and takes her shower and gets ready. Nee glares at me from her hole in the covers under which she has burrowed. "What are you doing?" She growls. I fear she is a coffeevamp. She has this hiss that sounds quite like a perculator. Hmmhmm.

As the sweet one of the group for once in my life, I state that I am ready and waiting for her to do the same. She growls and bounds from the bed and shuffles in the bathroom with one eye open glaring at the sorry excuse for the coffeepot that refuses to emit anything but brownish water. However, we persevere, get ready and go downstairs for some slightly stronger blackish water which I, according to her corrupt by putting in milk and sugar (oh the horror and the humanity I have sinned!)

But like a slightly more feminine version of Willie and Weylon we are On the Road Again.. and damn does this woman fly like a bat outta hell! Oh, but I've failed to mention.. we don't like bridges. Yeah, and we've got to go over Lake Pontchartrain. *squeal!* We're chattering like monkeys and she suddenly notices all the water. "Are we on a bridge?" Her eyes go wide and her mouth gets tight.

I show my ignorance and have to look around for a minute or so, "I ur.. I think so."


There is the sound of Bic's being flicked, it's like a rock concert in that car. Inhales.. then I try to rationalize. "Well, tis really a raised road. I can jump out if I gotta."

Sgt Brie gives me the eye. "Shet up." *puff puff puff* And on it goes for about 6 million miles until I decide to call Meme, who had just gotten off the plane. Well, what the heck pops up in front of our eyes but the dang airport exit. Nee says, heck, we'll go get em, cause it's both her and Karen as well as Ange.

"OMG We're in Kenner, ain't this where that Booby Spear's is from, Nee? Nee?"

"I'm driving, doon't talk ta mee." (Uh oh.. I hear the cheese in der.. *zips lip*)The road to hell ain't paved with good intentions.. it's paved with the(moderately hawt) bodies of middleaged housewives who don't like driving or riding in big assed cities!! AAACCK!!

All for these two (I don't got a pick of Ange yet but I will *hee hee heeee!* ) we went into TERMINAL HELLGATE

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I don't drive *pauses to get on her knees and thank God for this fact* Nee does.. *pauses to thank Him again* But we talk to Karen and/or Meme about 12 times in 20 minutes while driving to the airport.. "We're comin." "Weeeeeee're heeerree wooohooo yeah HELL YEAH HOT DAYAM! I SEE ANGE I SEE MEME OMG KAREN HAS ON SHOES THAT ARE 25 STORIES TALL!I gotta pee. My ass hurts. The bastards broke my suitcase, DEATH AND DISMEMBERMENT!" and stuff to that effect have been bandied back and forth. Nee and I are mainlining nicotine and caffeine as we are slowed to a crawl at the entrance to the terminal.

"Nee, I want my mommy."

"Me too. Call her and tell her to come get us, right now."

Karen: "I can hear you two! Shut up and pick us up at gate 5, you big babies!"

Jenn/Nee: "AAAAAAACK!"

Meme: "What are they doing?"

Karen: "Smoking and whining"

Meme: "Perhaps they need some liquor?"

Karen: "No, but I do!"

(snorts) So, I get out and almost break my fool neck as I have on heels over an inch tall (pah!) I find them or more correctly, they find me. We get back to the van where Nee has rearranged things so all luggage can be shoved into the minivan (ha!) Karen slithers into the back jumpseat in a shortish skirt and high heels without showing her arse. I was most impressed. We drop Meme off at the hotel, park Nee's car and all grab a cab (poor Tink got put on a huge Tupperware thingit) and go to Commander's Palace to eat.. FINALLY.

All of us sit I'm usin aliases to protect the innocent.. not for me, as there ain't one big and bad enough to make me innocent bwahahaha! Nipps, Jacs, Tink, Karen, Mo, Nee, Me, Cy, Ange, Er.. Rose (Hell, if I forget someone, I'm sorry! I was hungry and Nee'd scared beejezus outta me!) .. Ange has arranged this by the way (thank goodness) Who do we see when we sit down? Bill Cosby.. All of them whip out their phones and take his picture. I look at him and think Picture Pages and Pudding.. jeez, I'm old and a pig LOL! Nipps says, Dep and Shawn are coming. However, as always at first, I can't understand crap all she says. It gets better as the next little bit of time passes. I go .. Okies. The waiter asks us if we're sisters. *blinks* Ok.. perhaps Karen, Tink, Nipps and myself and maybe Mo. We all have dark hair and eyes and medium skin. However, Jacs is of an obviously different heritage (I'm not sure what, but she's pretty and looks really kewl) the others ranged from blonde to strawberrry blondes and really white skin. I went yeah but Sisters of What is the question dear.. The Kenyon Cult.. and I made a scary hand sign. Kinda got hard to be waited on after that. *snicker*

Suddenly.. Deb and Shawn come in.. I see a lady about my age and a guy come in. Two chairs are left, one by me and the other down at the other end. They are married. I start to get up and move, but the Deb person waves me down sayin she sits by him all the time, she'll sit by me today. Nipps intro's them as Deb and Shawn in her pretty accent. She sits down holds out her hand calls herself Deb and I said I'm Jenn and she hollers and I look puzzled.. she says.. I'm Sol.. it dawns on me who the damn hell she is!.. Oh and Shawn's really cool, wish hubby could have met him.

Have you finally figured out we're all nutters and we've been released from the booby hatch on New Orleans yet? It hasn't? Well, it damn well should have by now! We had a wonderful time!

We ate like pigs at Commander's Palace off our own plates each other's plates bowls... sang.. yelled hooted.. the cabdriver stalked Tink's cell.. dear Lord! I met Sherri! Omg!!!!! *pant pant* Hubby is most jealous. He's her biggest fan (in height more thank likely) All of them were sweet, I the LOS and DH loopers in person for the first time.. And I had a blast. I loved it.. even the damn Chair Incident.. you will all bloody well pay.

Loved it.

I'll post more tomorrow.

Tired as hell, but smilin


PS: I came home and I made MY sweet tea (my only complaint)

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Going to N'Awlins..

Yeah!! The Home of the House of the Risin Sun.. the Birthplace of Jazz (some say) Where you can get down, get ill, get a tattoo, go see a stripshow on one street, go to a beautiful church on the next. Yes.. New Orleans is still struggling, but I'm sure I'll be able to see its former glory shining through.

What I'm really going to see is friends I've never met in person, and I'm soo soo lookin forward to it! And if you must know, that's what I feel the city is all about. Many feel that it's crime ridden and all that, but I'm pretty sure the people are friendly as ever.. for the most part. You only hear the bad things, as that sort of thing is newsworthy.

It really doesn't matter, because the group I'll be with includes:
The Redneckuberbitch(me) who will nag them to death.
Cheesecutterbitch (Nee) who I'm sure has some mad covert needle sticking skills left over from the military.
The Glamourpuss (haaa! Karen'll kill me for that!) who'll cut you with her high heels
TheMysticalwitchbitch(Meems) who will Meme them within an inch of their lives, then whack them with her murse of doom.

I will state for the record that Kitta.. aka AssassanistaBitch will be there in spirit cheering us on. In case of an emergency, I can channel her and cut someone off at the knees *coughs* with my fingernails.

You think we're scared? Well, think again, but we are savvy enough to stay out of situations that would get us into danger in the first place. Of course, there are others that are going as well, and they ain't so nice either.. Mmmm.. Cookie Galore hides a mean streak, this I know and The Stellar one would probably whack them a time or two as well... or should I say SHELLack them? Yes.. ok, I'm off to get ready, perhaps I'll even shave my legs so I won't shock the Cheesehead with my hirsuteness, *sigh*

Yall have a good one, I'm off to see Sherrilyn Kenyon!!! and you know.. perhaps consume a few million calories worth of junk food. Ooh and there is a Starbucks in Glamazon's hotel. Yes, I shall visit her daily.

Wish Us Luck.. I have a feeling we're gonna need it..

Les Le Bon Temp Roule' (I think that's how ya spell it)

Jenna Leigh

PS: And today is my birthday.. it couldn't get any better than this.. WHOOHOO!! *shakin the birthday ass*

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

It rained on Monday.. big surprise..oh, and so was this.. ew!

We all know that Monday's suck, big time, so rain only makes it more sucky. I won't fuss too much, as we needed some of the wet stuff. My daughter who is still a new driver drove home in it, slowly and carefully, which made me very proud. I was cooking chili and pralines *winces as she hears the sound of a far off Sgt Brie scream of joy* Dang! Yes, I can multi-task, I'm a woman.

As I do these two things, I'm looking out the window for her car, once I see it, I go and hold the door open so she can run in, she waves for me to come out, I give her the patented 'EFO it's raining, ain't happening' stare. She sees, my stare with and raises it with an eye roll, and gets out of her car, puts her purse on her shoulder and then.. does something very odd.. *blinks*

She goes and gets a baby carrier out of her back seat. (screams in horror) What the crap?!? I stand on the top step to block her way into the house. "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"

She plants her fist on her hip and snarls, "Look, Granma Gandalf, back up and let me through. I'm gettin wet and this is for a grade." and shoves me out of the way.

I sputter, "But..but..but.. that thing, is it real? Eww.. it's a baby! Get it out of here! The cat will kill it you know."

The EFO is already at the door staring at it with his tail fluffed out three times its normal size. (Like the Grinch's heart, but it does NOT mean the same thing at ALL!) He sniffs and meows in his tiny voice. It behooves me to point out that EFO is like a certain prizefighter in that he sounds small, but fights and is large.. he bites too. I won't name this fighter because I don't like people that bite off other's ears but he don't endorse grills, yall. However, no matter how tinny his mew, he is evil which he proves within 10 seconds of her sitting this electronic demonic baby(henceforth called EDB) down by swatting it with his paw. If it smells like hell and looks like a demon, it IS demon in his book and he will not tolerate competition for his spot as top demon.. er.. well, anyways.

The Teen Queen shoos him away and flops down on the couch for her half hour veg session during which time she watches the most heinously stupid shows that MTV and/or VH1 can shovel out. At precisely 5p.m the EDB lets out a high tinny wail that I'm sure has been calibrated to travel up and down my spine at the speed of the freak. ACK! Plus, it never closes its eyes! At ALL! Ew..

I would also like it known it has not even been blessed by my lazy assed genes so that it sleeps all the damn time. How dare these teachers give us some alien yankee baby that never sleeps and eats 2 oz of non-existent formula at a time? I tell you what, my daughter drank a whole bottle at 2 weeks and slept the night through. Jeez! Ok, she was 5'8" tall by the age of 12, but what's your point? And it is wearing this pink hoodie that makes it look like nothing so much as those kids in that movie The Brood. EW!!

But, get this, she can't dump it off on me, cause she has to wear this special bracelet that has a microchip in it that matches the one on the EDB.. and it records everything that happens! OMG! It's little sister, and it's watching her! Wow!

This whole thing was for parenting class by the way, which is a good for one thing.. If you don't wanna take care of the cryin lil twits, THEN YOU BETTER USE PROTECTION!!

Her grandfather teased her by saying, you be careful with my great-grandbaby on the way to school now! *snort*

It still looked creepy though.. ick! Just in time for Halloween.. Chuck Lives and he had freak nasty babies to send out to unsuspecting peoples' homes. They wait until you go to sleep then they come in your room and.. *urk*

Jenna Leigh
Who is terrified of dolls, but that stud holding the baby up there makes me feel LOTS better *grins*

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Blogging for Friday 13th Queen is playing too.. wow..

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More on the picture at the bottom. *grins*
I've had a rough week. I've felt sort of icky all this month. Tired, run down. My neck aches. I just feel so .. blech.

So, Friday 13th rolls around. The big bad day. Oh what the flip ever! I'm so not into that woo woo bad luck thing.

This morning on the way to work I tell hubby. Sh sh sh sh ha ha ha ha kill kill kill.. Happy Anniversary Honey. *grins* This is the day of the month we got married on, you see. He grins and says it back, without the cheesy Jason Musack, though, as he's driving and you know, can't have the music going and like.. SEE TO DRIVE!! *rolls eyes* Don't frickin' ask, yall. I don't want to open that can of hubby is a goober redneck freako worms. *sighs* Suffice to say, my daughter and I are not happy to ride with him, thank the bitch goddesses of the DMV that she has her lil piece of plastic that says SHE can frickin drive now. YAYYYY!!

Ooohkay, where the crap was I? oooh! Yeah! Friday the 13th. big old badass day. Right? Mmmhmm. Right.

I come home, early cause, well, hell, yesterday I had to stay all day by myself, I may add. From 7 to 5, I was alone, deprived of a lunch and breaks. *wails, gnashes teeth, whines and flails around upon the shores of despair* What? Oh shut up. So, today I ask my boss, the Big T-bone.

"Might I since, I was all by myself go home today?"

Before I get it all out he says "YES, GO JUST GIT GONE!!!"

*blink* You'd think they wish me to leave the pit of despair with all haste, wouldn't you? Well..just.. FINE! I know when I'm not wanted. I tell fellow evil co-worker that I am gone.. she gives me the snarl of snarkitude and I give it back. We are sisters of slavery, we know we are peons meant for the meat market. We know they will grind us down into numb little nubs of nothingness, they will use us up until there is nothing left and toss us aside. *sniffles*

So.. by golly, I ran out of that place and hubby and I went to..

The damn Hellmouth!

I had to get a new fan, my other one quit. Paid a dollar for it since the so-called fan season is over, to make way for Deer season. As if it's cold down here, pah! You know I think am fast approaching a milestone in my life. It is one I look forward to with all the glee of a child that hears the sound of the icecream truck's jingling tune. Yes, I've begun to experience what some call hot flashes, but what I like to call.. POWER SURGES.. oooh The Menopause is upon me, I believe. Some think of it as the end of womanhood. Oh bull! Honey, the day I can stop staking out the feminine product aisle is the day I shall celebrate.

I'm gonna build a big old bonfire in the front yard and guess what I'm gonna use as kindling. You guessed it! Them wings is gonna burn baby burn!

Anyhoo, I've been having a small medical prob, tired and icky. But I've found out about it and hopefully got it fixed. Yahoo for my doctor!! Hail to the man! He's wonderful!

So, this week has been bad for the writer in me. I've written a little on Dateless, but that is it. I've read over some of my other stuff, edited it, shored it up, polished it. But nothing, because I've hurt so bad and been so tired. Today I came home after the trip to Hell.. mouth and went to bed.. Then JMorgan *grins* tells me Whoohooo My book is OUT!!! Hoorah for JMORGAN AND CHARISSA!!!!

You can see their new releases at:


The Michelangelo Blues by JMorgan is a romantic suspense with some sarcastic comedy. The heroine is funny, and sassy, the hero is quirky, hot and sexy as hell. Reminds me of my hubby. *drool*

The Viper Queen by Charissa is a historical with a kickass heroine and a seriously hot broody hero, trust me, Charissa specializes in the big bad batman. She is the best at those. Dayam!

So, if you read my blog. And if you do, I ask why. The answer is probably so you can look at yourself and say.. Look, I'm not as crazy as Jenn is, so ha, I'm all good! Well, la dee da for YOU! But if you do read it and you're wondering why I have Chao aka Aaron Kwok up there at the top beside the drool factor that I have for him, well. He's sort of the inspiration for the character for my story The Wolf's Heart. Marcus Bei is a wonderfully wacky and wickedly hot werewolf who lusts after the sinfully sassy, sexy Elaine Westabrook. Alliteration much? What the hell do you expect at 3 a.m? Why am I mentioning them you ask?

Oh well, *shrugs* Samhain Publishing offered me a contract on them is all. It was waiting in my inbox as I lay on my lazy ass watching Man of the House for the third time. (killing brain cells!jaysus!) On Friday the 13th no, less. Yeah.. that's um.. all..

Yall have a nice night..
Well. Morning..

Jenna Leigh.

PS.. oh um..


Oh yeah, I'm freakin out. May never sleep again.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Why Do Fools Fall In Love?

You may as well ask why birds sing...

I write romance.. or I try to.. and I like to make my romances funny too.. so... I should know what love is right? Riiiiiigghhtt..

Singers sing about it, writers write about it, painters will paint pictures of it and save themselves a thousand words or more.

It's not a chemical reaction, like Tina Turner sang in the 80's fresh from her divorce from the wicked wacky Ike. He needed killin in my book, but that's just the redneck talkin, honest.

Love is a mystical, magical, maniacal sort of thing that just happens. Sometimes it goes BOOM! And hits you like the proverbial ton of bricks when you least expect it , and more than likely least need it to do so, and with the least likely person. That kind, while it burns hot, sometimes also burns out really fast too. Sorry, to say it, but this is true.

But often Love is a stealthy sly creature. Like the ninja it slips into your heart, and sits there quietly waiting for you to notice that hey, this person you've known all your life, or at least a year or two is THE ONE.

There won't be any cheesy harp music like in the movies, unless you have some sort of mental disorder. Oh but, if you do, more power to you. I'd be ok with an illness that played instrumental music when I met the the love of my life. All I felt was a mild queasiness that signaled that I may have probably in all likelihood in the worst case scenario met the man of my dreams. Dither much, libra girl? Sheah!

Then again, love changes.. almost like a living breathing thing, it grows into something else as time passes. Friendship can grow into a passionate love affair and visa versa. It can kill you, driving you crazy, make you weep, laugh, drink, thirst, hunger. It can consume someone's thoughts to the exclusion of all else. Make a strong man weak.. a weak man strong..just ask the Grinch.

But what is it? Why do human's feel it? Do animals feel it? Some believe their pets do.. I'm not so sure my cat loves me, but I'm sure he would miss the food I put in his dish. Dogs though, yeah, they have the I love you eyes thing down pat. Nobody can make those eyes like a dog..

Cynics will tell you it's just something to sell novels and cards on Valentine's Day. But a true romantic will tell you that Love is what makes the world go around, not the sun's gravitational pull or whatever the hell. I hope that if you haven't found THE ONE that you will.. I've heard that beer helps a lot.

Love is a many splintered thing *winks*


Saturday, October 07, 2006

Bras, Books and A Starbucks, Hallelujah!

When last we left our intrepid southern mean girl, she was dreading her upcoming trip to the Hellmouth, knowing it would entail spending her hardearned paycheck upon necessary yet perishable goods on which her family would gorge themselves. *oink oink oink* However, this day was made slightly better than most by the fact that she got not 1 but 3 books from ze Book Nazi without Mortal Combat with said nazi as she was off in the bowels of her dark and forbidden cave in ze back *coughs* Sorry, the accent slips in you know. *grins* Master of Swords, Kick A$$ and Book of Spirits fell into her hot lil hands with no trouble at all with the added bennie of a large iced mocha for energy.


So, she hiked through the wilds of the Hellmouth on a caffeine high while avoiding the horrid evil people that liked to get in her way for no reason other than to piss her off. She didn't even have the armor of scrubs to make them afraid of her, instead she was dressed in a pair of cute navy capri sweats and bright red top. Mmph! How dare they use her fashionable looks against her. Well, she'd just run their asses over! Ahaa!! Note to Glamazon: You were right, shopping cart-a-cide does give you a nice glow.

Then, as she and sainted hubby were about to rush home to pick up Mozilla from McHell a ring on the Bitchphone alerted them to the fact that they weren't to get her until 5pm. Therefore, there was time to get the all important bra.. (shet it) So, Jenn.. being without the mother who loves to flash her goods to the world, decides to run to the store and get one. OOooooooh eeww eeek. She did so, with great haste and no little cursing of stupid pregant women whom are apparently off limits to ass kicking despite the fact that they want the cashier to ring up items one at a time even if there are 22 people behind her fat, pregnant tight pants wearing self! You know who you are woman, Karma is after you.. I have my contacts and they are on their way!

Anyway, hubby hopped around in this line like a lil boy having to go pee pee and he whined about it, but there aren't many options for the bazoomably endowed, so he had to deal. Yes, yall, I bribed him, stating I'd buy him food. Gah! However, as neither of us will agree on what foods shall be eaten, the mall was decided on as the food court offers a variety in one convenient spot. And lo... there is something new at the Mall...


Ahem.. do the dreamie fade thing please *wavy wavy woo woo*

Jenn hikes up the metaphorical mountain grown every morning and asks a very important question "Oh Dearest Java Goddess when shall I be blesssed with good coffee? Why must I be deprived of it? All of the other girls have it." She sniffs and lays coffee beans on her coffee altar before she turns sadly away.

The Java Goddess looks down at her sad little alcolyte as she shuffles off with her inferior cuppa and knows it is time.

"By the Blessed Beans this brave child has lived long enough without the good stuff.. ..



Lo.. What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east.. and Starbucks is the one.. eh, I'm not gonna butcher the classics to let you know how happy I was when we pulled into the mall and saw the familiar little circle outside the food court.

I yelled.. "HUBBY!!" and pointed. He sighed, no doubt envisioning many trips to the mall that he'd not had to make because I hate the place. Oh hubby, the force is strong within you... Jethro the Redneck Jedi you are.

You must understand that I've lived in a culturally deprived outpost of humanity having to content myself with those little bottled Starbuck thingits that are frankly, nasty as hell. Sorry, Java Goddess.. ew.

So, I start to go to my food place and stop, only to be bumped into by my hubby who for once in his miserable life wants what I want if only because he don't want to stand in line. We get Chick Fil-a and I go to the *sigh* Starbucks. I get an Iced Mocha (my second if you're counting) It is divine. I shouldn't be surprised for the Java Goddess had chosen to bless me, as she loves me.

Today has been good. The booby fairy smiled on me and gave me two bras that fit. The Book Nazi was out so I got three books that I wanted. And lo and behold the Starbucks has gone redneckin!! Life couldn't get any better than this. I may never blink again, though. Caffeine is good!

Jenna Leigh
Java Ho
Third Coffee Pot from the Sun

Friday, October 06, 2006

Mozilla is Mobile

That's right, she passed her driving test with flying colors. Hubby was most cast down. I think he was hoping she'd fail so that this milestone wouldn't pass quite so readily. Instead she squealed out of the metaphorical driveway so fast she left tiremarks. One more bridge crossed on the route to the the empty nest syndrome that shall hit him very hard, I fear.

Anyway, we go to the DMV.. *insert the evil music here* This could be an awful experience, but it isn't, simply because I know someone that works here, and she's very sweet. That's right a nice person works at the DMV ladies and gentlemen! I also have to get my ID renewed and while I'm doing that with the nice person, the evil man is doing my child's lisence. My hubby is not my child's biological father and therefore can't do her stuff for her. I'm in the next booth doing my thing, and so, nice lady hands my old id over the side and says he'll have to wait which is fun. *grins*

Now I have a new id, on which I am grinning like a loon. Ffth.

However, daughter PASSED! She aced her test! hoohoo!! Go Mozilla! You rock! Now you can be drivin' Ms Crazy aka your mama.

Now back to your regularly scheduled insanity in which I attempt to write something that resembles a story. Oh, and erm.. I'm going to NOLA in about two weeks.. Yall better watch out!!

Jenna Leigh