Saturday, October 07, 2006

Bras, Books and A Starbucks, Hallelujah!

When last we left our intrepid southern mean girl, she was dreading her upcoming trip to the Hellmouth, knowing it would entail spending her hardearned paycheck upon necessary yet perishable goods on which her family would gorge themselves. *oink oink oink* However, this day was made slightly better than most by the fact that she got not 1 but 3 books from ze Book Nazi without Mortal Combat with said nazi as she was off in the bowels of her dark and forbidden cave in ze back *coughs* Sorry, the accent slips in you know. *grins* Master of Swords, Kick A$$ and Book of Spirits fell into her hot lil hands with no trouble at all with the added bennie of a large iced mocha for energy.


So, she hiked through the wilds of the Hellmouth on a caffeine high while avoiding the horrid evil people that liked to get in her way for no reason other than to piss her off. She didn't even have the armor of scrubs to make them afraid of her, instead she was dressed in a pair of cute navy capri sweats and bright red top. Mmph! How dare they use her fashionable looks against her. Well, she'd just run their asses over! Ahaa!! Note to Glamazon: You were right, shopping cart-a-cide does give you a nice glow.

Then, as she and sainted hubby were about to rush home to pick up Mozilla from McHell a ring on the Bitchphone alerted them to the fact that they weren't to get her until 5pm. Therefore, there was time to get the all important bra.. (shet it) So, Jenn.. being without the mother who loves to flash her goods to the world, decides to run to the store and get one. OOooooooh eeww eeek. She did so, with great haste and no little cursing of stupid pregant women whom are apparently off limits to ass kicking despite the fact that they want the cashier to ring up items one at a time even if there are 22 people behind her fat, pregnant tight pants wearing self! You know who you are woman, Karma is after you.. I have my contacts and they are on their way!

Anyway, hubby hopped around in this line like a lil boy having to go pee pee and he whined about it, but there aren't many options for the bazoomably endowed, so he had to deal. Yes, yall, I bribed him, stating I'd buy him food. Gah! However, as neither of us will agree on what foods shall be eaten, the mall was decided on as the food court offers a variety in one convenient spot. And lo... there is something new at the Mall...


Ahem.. do the dreamie fade thing please *wavy wavy woo woo*

Jenn hikes up the metaphorical mountain grown every morning and asks a very important question "Oh Dearest Java Goddess when shall I be blesssed with good coffee? Why must I be deprived of it? All of the other girls have it." She sniffs and lays coffee beans on her coffee altar before she turns sadly away.

The Java Goddess looks down at her sad little alcolyte as she shuffles off with her inferior cuppa and knows it is time.

"By the Blessed Beans this brave child has lived long enough without the good stuff.. ..



Lo.. What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east.. and Starbucks is the one.. eh, I'm not gonna butcher the classics to let you know how happy I was when we pulled into the mall and saw the familiar little circle outside the food court.

I yelled.. "HUBBY!!" and pointed. He sighed, no doubt envisioning many trips to the mall that he'd not had to make because I hate the place. Oh hubby, the force is strong within you... Jethro the Redneck Jedi you are.

You must understand that I've lived in a culturally deprived outpost of humanity having to content myself with those little bottled Starbuck thingits that are frankly, nasty as hell. Sorry, Java Goddess.. ew.

So, I start to go to my food place and stop, only to be bumped into by my hubby who for once in his miserable life wants what I want if only because he don't want to stand in line. We get Chick Fil-a and I go to the *sigh* Starbucks. I get an Iced Mocha (my second if you're counting) It is divine. I shouldn't be surprised for the Java Goddess had chosen to bless me, as she loves me.

Today has been good. The booby fairy smiled on me and gave me two bras that fit. The Book Nazi was out so I got three books that I wanted. And lo and behold the Starbucks has gone redneckin!! Life couldn't get any better than this. I may never blink again, though. Caffeine is good!

Jenna Leigh
Java Ho
Third Coffee Pot from the Sun


Karen said...

Hooray! Finally, a Starbucks. You can rest easy now. The coffee gods are smiling down on you. Try an iced skim caramel macchiato next time. I like mine w/ 2 Splendas, just FYI. Yum.

L.B. said...

Is this the wrong time to mention that I can't remember the last time I didn't have a Starbucks within 5 minutes of me? teehee

Jenna Leigh said...

Brag if thou wish Fanboy. I am the one that will be seeing the AG in 2 weeks. *grins* Is all good, you may have five gabillion Starbucks in your neck of the woods. But I only need the one. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE REDNECK STARBUCKS!!