Friday, January 26, 2007

Maybe it's not nice to tease your critique partners

But man, sometimes it sure is fun..

When you have critique partners, the relationship is symbiotic at best and parasitic at worst. I am guilty of peering inside the dark and dusty confines my empty mail box and clearing my cyber throat and yelling the words WHERE AND THE HELL IS ITTTTTT? with the best of 'em, but hey, that's my basic personality. I'm not getting any younger, and seriously, I'm flattering the other person, and what's more, they know it. I will say that I'm usually nice about it and I've only written one evil ditty concerning strangulation if I didn't get my smut fix. It was an empty threat seeing how I don't fly and she lives in New Zealand, I don't think calling the cyber cops aka Glamazon and Gnome Nee on me was necessary. If not for Meme, I'd have been toast.

But, I digress as I usually do. Critiquing is a hard job. You have to be or they'll cut you off, never letting you see the end product of what you've been getting in starts and stops the whole time in your inbox. I'm not usually the guilty one, but here lately, due to circumstances beyond my control, I've been unable to sit and write anything at all. So, when I could finally, I did and I sent it out to all and sundry, with a snarky missive at the top as is my wont to do. So, when I wrote a key scene where the heroine figures out what she's been doing in her life concerning guys and why she's been doing it... I sent it to my critique partners and at the end I put, sorry I had to stop, I was getting really tired.

Hey! I have a doctor's excuse, I've been ill. *cough cough cough*

The reply I got was very short, but that's just Kitta.

You. Are. Evil.

Nothing else but her signature line.

She's a bit scary. *shivers*

I'm not, I'm just mean, because my reply had one of those emoticons with the semi-smarmy smiles on it and I said back.

Why.. yes, I am. BWAHAHAHAH.

Perhaps tonight I shall satisfy her cravings for more. However I will point out that she does this to me all the time. I figure it's my turn to shine in the leave 'em hanging department. I've been waiting on one of her stories to be resolved for over a year. I won't say it's not worth the wait because ooh nelly, it so is. She's one of the best writers I've ever had the pleasure of reading. But once in a while, I like to make her give me her succient, angry replies. This means...

I've got her, right where I want her. I wonder if I can get chocolate out of this deal?

Who knows she's safe in her redneck of the woods.
Or.. so I hope *gulps*

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Let's Hear It For the Sacrificial Goats of the World

I work with a bunch of freakos and I wouldn't change that for all the tea in China. The powerball, that's a different story now. If I win that I'm outta there fast as my stumpy little legs will carry me. They know it and what's more, they'll cheer as I totter out the door with both middle fingers in the air. They also know I'm not pointin those fingers at them, but at..ok.. that's another story too, one that could get me fired, so I'll keep it to myself, in my dark bitter evil heart where it can fester and grow and .. er.. well, never you mind. BWAHAHAH!

Anways, the point is, and I do have one, believe it or not, is that despite the freako-ishness of my coworkers, I'm mighty proud of them. The one that works in front with me in particular today as a matter of fact. She, lets call her Evil Edith.. cuz, well, she is. Evil Edith.. EE for short joined the military when she got out of highschool oh so many years ago. *sings* She's older than me tra la la. By one year, but it counts. During her stint, she always gave blood.. ALWAYS!

We work in the hospital and they come round now, and she ALWAYS donates still. ALWAYS. I'd like to take this opportunity to say how much that means to me. Even though I did call her the sacrifical goat for our department.. because when they asked, I said EE went, I can't go! *blink blink blink* I must hold down ze fort! I am very very sorry. The big bad supervisor hid in the back, if you must know. Chicken. At least I have a valid excuse, I'm on meds that prevent me from doing so, or I would for real. And really would you want my crazy, chocy corrupted blood running round in your veins? Think about it.. Yeah, you'd be sayin yall and eatin tater salad before the day was out. Although this would help with my plans for world domination. Hmm, decisions decisions. Anyway..

To EE the Sacrifical Goat.. You're BAAADDD in all senses of the word. *salutes!*

Bok You,

Your Nemesis,
Jenn el Chicken

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

How did this happen?

When did I become ..nice? Someone tell me because, I'd really like to know.
For the longest time, the littlest member of our family.. my tiny sister-in-law of 2 years.. didn't really have much to do with me. She said hi, bye, and muah to me if prompted by my husband and daughter whom she loved best in all the world. My daughter is her a goddess to her because she's a) 14 years older b) 4 and a 1/2 foot taller and c) in possession of a varoom varoom that she will take her for rides in if the mood suits her. When you add up you get goddess.. oh yeah, you can see it shining out of her eyes when she whacks her with something, otherwise it's slavebearer to carry her across the large, muddy yard. If she's not available, my husband aka Bubby the slavebearer II will do just as well.

However around Christmas time, I was ill and went in her room to lay on her bed. My daughter warned me 'the bebbie' wouldn't allow it. I said um.. sheah she will. And flopped down.. surprisingly, I was given a stuffed animal and shoved against the wall and told to be still in de bebbie's bed, and otherwise ignored instead of yelled at and told in no uncertain terms to vacate 'de bebbie's' bed like she did everyone else. I'd open one eye and catch her staring at me before she'd turn back to the tv to watch The Mummy for the five thousandth time. *grunts*

In this she takes after her brother, my husband. He will watch a movie until I am so heartily sick of it I want to scream and throw it out the door, or stomp on it until it cracks. Better the DVD than his head, right? At least the child picks a movie where the scenery is nice. I can watch anything with a bevy of manly studmuffins parading across the screen.. so, I settle in for a bit of Brenden and Ohded watching, little knowing that I'd started something. Something verra bad. *sighs* See, she likes the Mummy, but it sort of scares her in certain parts, and the Mummy Returns (with the Rock ooh) even more so. However, as the ijits in the next room are usually either watching westerns (blech) or football (double blech) I will go in there when she points and lay on the bed to watch these two movies with her.

This has earned me a place in her little evil diapered heart. She is the queen bee of the yard already. As the baby sister of 4 grown brothers, and a baby girl of a man who never thought he'd have another at the age of 60yrs, she's rather spoiled and refers to herself as 'de bebbie' and her things as 'de bebbie's' as in 'de bebbie's' chair, room etc. So, when she asks you to come to de bebbie's room and watch de Mummy wit her it's funny and cute. She's two, I'm only human, deal! Plus.. *sighs* she has a nickname for me now. At first I thought she was calling me mommy, but she calls my daughter Morgan, Momo, and therefore, me being Morgan's mommy, I am the Mo Mee. *hangs head* Crap.. I gotta go.. I'm wanted in de bebbie's room for royal viewing of de Mummy. By golly it's better than Sponge Bob.

Yeah, you say one word, and I'm siccin her on ya,
Mo Mee

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Good news, for the most part.

TRS gave me a pretty icon! Aren't they the sweetest? Like any magpie, I looove a good shiny! While I've always been up front about being a total shallow gal.. this brings it all out lemme tell ya! *stares at it* What was I talking about again? Does it really matter?
Look at the pretty shiny with me. Isn't it beautiful? What's it for again? Oh yeah!! Braless in the Buick, my debut novel about Allie Stephenson and Jake Donally. I love those two which is a good thing since I'm also talking about them this month in the Coffee Time Forums.
Spellfire Moons got a 5 Cup review from Missy Coffee Time
High Chairs and High Stakes
British-born Matthias Gregory is a single vampire who needs help taking care of his child. When he placed an ad for a nanny, he never expected to get a witch. In fact, a witch was the last thing he wanted help from. When Erin MacKenzie meets Matthias Gregory, a vampire raising his daughter alone, the witch-nanny finds that she’s bitten off more than she can chew.

This was an incredibly hot and sexy story and yet it was filled with mystery and tension. Who knew that Mathias would use his incredible sexy voice to record audio romance books? It was so fun and I really enjoyed reading it, and every other surprise and plot twist Mrs. Leigh threw at me.
Braless and Spellfire Are Available in Ebook
Braless has climbed back up to number 5 on Champagne's Fictionwise chart!! And for this month Champagne has Braless in the Buick on Sale in Print.
That's all my book news so far this month.. hey, it's been great so far!
As for me, well, my meemaw and my mamaw both said if you don't have anything good to say, it's best not to say anything at all. Therefore, I'll leave yall with a simple little non-rhyming bit of poetry that sums me up right now. It's called Ignorance, but not ugly kind. Think of it more like back when you were a kid and thought nothing bad could ever happen. I wish I could bottle that time and bring it with me tomorrow. I need it.. but I'll settle for a Starbuck Iced Mocha Venti for after. *winks*
By Jenna Leigh
Before it grew up
And knew about
Or even,
Before it was
Something you should
Be ashamed of..
Ignorance was
Be seein ya in the funny papers,