Saturday, September 08, 2007

Faith, Saints and Cable TV

My husband is in a bit of a slump. Oh, no not writing wise. That part is fine and dandy. I'm talking about nothing to watch on the bewwb tube. He loves the television but right now, if you haven't noticed, we've reached a point where Summer is over but, strangely enough, Fall hasn't begun just yet. How could the networks let this season gap happen to the innocent TV sluts like my hubby? He's bereft, bewildered, bothered, and bummed and about his lack of viewing prospects. I'm just pissed that we have all these channels and there still ain't shit to watch. Why the heck are we paying for cable anyway?

I can remember having four channels when I was a kid. NBC, ABC, CBS, and Public Broadcasting. You're either nodding with me, or you're too damn young to remember what a big deal it was to get Fox. I'm more than likely old enough to have changed your diapers.

Do you know who White Snake, Def Leppard, Twisted Sister or Duran Duran are? Was their music ever played on the channel known as MTV? If your answer to either of my questions are no, then git, you little teensy babies you. Go and watch your big brothers and sisters on the Rugrats.

Back to the season gap rant, which ties in with the foosball is of the devil rant I have every year at this time. *sighs*

So, last night with the hubby was bad. The Saints played football, he was all excited and ready to watch it and then, crap if Faith Hill didn't come out and start singin' the national anthem. He despises her since the unfortunate *giggles and tosses back long blonde hair* Oh, but I thank I sang Piece of My Heart better than Janis Joplin *flutters lashes and flashes perfect teeth* incident which happened well over ten years ago.

However, this slight against his precious Janis has festered in his soul like a blight on a pristine rose growing black and bitter with rage and hate. It hasn't gotten better with time, like any of those trite little songs and poems say it will because upon seeing Faith or hearing her voice, astonishingly nasty words burst forth from this usually sweet and calm person's mouth. He has even been known to yell out the c word about her. He usually saves this word for persons that pull out in front of him or slam on their brakes, thus endangering the lives of him and his loved ones. So, don't do that, or say you sing better than Janis, and you won't be thought of as a c*nt in his book.

Side note: Yall, I've yelled his name to come help me wash dishes when he was in the next room and he didn't hear me. Ha! However, I muttered that I may perhaps think that Faith did sing PoMH slightly more in tune than Janis. I repeat that I muttered it under my breath while walking away from a man whose spent half his life listening to frickin Prince and hell yes, Janis at a decibel level detectable on Mars. This man not only heard me say this, but called ME a c*nt. *growls* Oh, yes he did. He said it once, but I said it fifty two times in thirty minutes until he pleaded with me to stop. So, I won, by reclaiming this word since I happen to be the owner of one, thank you very much. He didn't get any of it for quite a while, mind you.

Back to the football game...

By the way he thinks she jinxed the Saints. *snorts* Oh as if! They don't need any help with that, they suck well enough on their own. But I digress, I happen to like Mrs. McGraw, which means hubby and I have The Faith Wars all the time, and as Teen Mean's on my side, he don't stand a chance.

Jenna Leigh
Waiting on the Fall Season
Until then, I'll just aggravate the hell outta JMorgan *evil smiles*

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