Thursday, October 04, 2007

Panthers and Cougars and now Bears? Oh My! Wait.. Oh, Crap!

I may have mentioned that I've got a Sucky Day Job. Let me say that I love the people I work with. When you spend 8 hours a day with folks for years on end and they become your family. My boss is the big brother whose more heinous than me. Scary thought, no? Well, maybe not that mean.. okay, yeah he is. This is the man who calls me Luci, stating it's short for Lucifer. *pfth* Evil gets the job done. More on him in a bit.

Anyway, my hubby comes into my day job often because he and my coworker share books. She's the sweet one. You know the one in every bunch whose always positive, upbeat and nice, until that scary frickin moment that she's not. Then, Omigawd, take cover because like the song goes, Betty's Bein' Bad, and she's probably got a shotgun aimed at your ass. Her name ain't Betty, but I'm not goin to say it. Take not the scary sweet woman's name in vain is my motto, because she could be sneakin up on you unawares.

Well, I thought hubby was visiting Sweetie and discussing just what books to by and not to buy because she's a bad 'rebuyer'. If they change the cover, she'll grab it up, thinking she's got the newest book by one of her fave authors. I firmly believe publishers should put the word REPRINT in big letters on the cover for women such as her. Not that she'd believe it, because even when I tell her this and that she's read it she doesn't believe me. She makes me bring the book to work. Only after reading three or four chapters does she bring it to me with a look of disgust on her face so I can take it home and sneak it back on hubby's no touchit shelf. The lengths I go for this woman. Gaah!

However, hubby wasn't in with Sweetie, nooo, it was much worse, he was in with my boss aka THE CORRUPTER. The Corrupter gives him subversive testosterone laden ideas like; thinking for himself, doing what he wants, buying movies with lotsa bewbies in, going fishin', buying a truck with 4-wheel drive, etc. He'd never come up with these on his own, being more like Sweetie than The Corrupter, so I'd rather he didn't visit with him, as I always hear giggling coming from that office. Yet when I go in, it suddenly stops and they look guilty. Boys are such doofuses.

This time though, The Corrupter was showing him a PSA in the form of the picture shown. I thought this was from someone's deer feeder from Arkansas or Mississippi, so imagine my surprise when Corrupter claimed it was from his own deer feeder. I still wasn't too worried because he's got a camp at the Hooker Hole *pauses* Hush, that's the name of the place. No, I'm not makin it up, I'm from there. No, I'm not from the Hooker Hole! I'm from the general area..oh never mind! Anyway, this picture was taken about ten miles from my house! This is a black bear! While the Corrupter may be Grizzly Adams *snickers* I'm so not.

Intellectually I know we've got panthers and cougars in our area, but they don't let you see them because cats are smart enough to know that out of sight means out of mind. But Bears? Bears? All those dumbass rednecks were supposed to have hunted them to extinction years ago. Can't I depend on them for anything? Jeez Louisiana! I watched enough Discovery Channel to know they're gonna be in my trashcans soon, and once that happens it's onto my porch. Just, eeek! Hubby's response? He smiled and said, "See! I told you we needed to buy a bigger gun!" Dammit, I knew the Corrupter was up to something!

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