Thursday, February 08, 2007

Ya know, he does this to get back at me

For not cleanin the cat box often enough.. I know it's true. I'm Cleopatra Queen of Denial about a lot of things, but not this.

I'm talking about that vile and wicked feline of various aliases, The Felonious Feline , Meowirus Redneckerus, Badasserus Rex, Wicked Whiskers, Bean So Mean, Evil Feline Overlord, EFO for short, or if he had his way, simply, Master. That ain't gonna happen, especially after tonight.

I made chili, and by golly, come hell or high water, I was gonna eat it, because, I make good chili if you must know. Nothing, not that silly child and her new bf sitting on the couch, not my hubby and his bad choice of movies,(European Bigalow or whatever), or EFO's tendency to jump up in my lap would run me off my couch until I'd eaten my little bowl full of yummy delight. Never say never, dearie!!

I sat through that dreck of a movie, with its grody sight gags, and I mean that literally, I did gag at certain parts. So, I had my head down, scooping up the goodness with my spoon, ignoring the igmos on the other side of the room when suddenly, my child says in her kewl teen voice. "Ew mah Gawd, he's got a mouse."

Sure enough, I look up and he's making a beeline right for my feet with a tiny field mouse in his evil maw. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I knew it! My husband's legs pop up in the air and land on each of the arms of his lazyboy faster than I've ever seen him move and much more limber as well. I note that for later use and at the same time, rise from my beloved couch and shuffle as fast as I can into my sanctuary and slam the door all the while screaming for someone to get it and throw it out!

How horrible! How pitiful and how in the crap am I supposed to finish my chili when it's sitting in the other room and there is a potential mouse zombie in there? I've heard of some strange diets in my time but this is ridiculous. Hubby finally took the mouse from EFO and threw it out. My chili was cold by then and I never got to see the end of DB2/The Euro Pimped Version! My life will never be complete.

I'm just glad tomorrow is Friday.. and I hope he doesn't think I'm going to be feeding him food anytime soon. He can give my hubby the feed me face. I am now immune. I mean it, I am! *looks down* Ok, I am immune to the face, however, threats with evil switchblade claws still work very well. My blog is now at an end.

Have a good weekend


No comments: