Saturday, June 30, 2007

Fantastic? Hmm, pretty good.

It's been established that my hubby has a deep and abiding love of comic book flicks. In fact, I dub him Sir William, The Duke of Comic Cinema. Whilst I being a good and trusting wife slaved over the shopping list in ZE HELLMART, he ran off to the electronics department. Oh, fine.. I was sniffing the shampoo, are yall happy? I like to sniff the shampoo, it's one of my all time fave things in the whole wide world! Sheesh! The point is this, His Grace of Geekdom got into a slight altercation with the Concubines of Capitalism at our fine department store. All about this...

He wanted this movie they said they didn't have it. He roamed around until he found an entire end cap full of them. This usually laid back man became a royal pain the the ass and stalked back to the counter informing them of the movies' location. (by shoving the DVD in their faces) He then came over to me and said they couldn't find their butts with both hands and a map. It could have gotten ugly if not for the distraction of the strawberry milkshake oreo cookies I'd placed strategically in my buggy.

So, we came home and after the putting away of groceries, some into airtight containers to keep them away from the invasive ants (grr) I lay down to rest on the couch and was subjected to this movie. (It's on again as I type by the way) It was better than I thought it'd be, not as good as say X-Men as sadly, there's no Hugh Jackman to be found anywhere, despite me looking for him. *coughs* All I'm sayin is any movie is made better for the blatant placement of the Half-Nekkie Hugh, or any blog for that matter.

Where was I? *blink blink blink* Oh, yes. What in the world were these Fantastic Fruitcakes thinking when they threw their lot in with a man named Victor Von Doom anyway? I mean really, yall, I know he's not that sort of doctor-- though he plays one on TV*snicker*--but if I were a patient and he came into my room holding out that sinisterly shiny hand of his saying, "Hi, I'm Dr. Von Doom.." That's it.. I'd be out the door before the lights could blink twice.

He was hot on Charmed too but even then.. gack! He was a demon therefore, bad. Since Sue and Reed are all smart and some junk, I know they don't watch TV except for the news or maybe a documentary on the migration habits of the Mongrovian fruit bat for shits and giggles. *rolls eyes* But I'm betting The Human Torch aka Mr. Man Hoor aka Johnny never missed an episode of the WonderBra Witches, so he should have known that Vic was a baddie before they ever hopped a rocket with him. Doom is not a person I'd be going into space with. Surely that name's a jinx. And you know he's bad anyway because he's the only one who's got any dang money in the whole movie!

Only the rich and powerful are really bad in comic movies, unless they have an English accent, a disability and are um.. bald. *Ref to Charles Xavier X-Men home of Half Nekkid Hugh*

If you're mysteriously wealthy, can walk, have all your hair and have an English accent even though you're from Germany and you're Jewish, well, you are bad! Wait, no not bad, yes, bad, no, sort of ambiguous, no bad! We're not sure really, all we know is your powers are gone. Or are we? That chess piece moved. Hmm. Dammit! *Ref to Magneto X-Men Home of.. ahem.. anyway.*

If you have all your hair, can walk and are rich (or were before you lost yo' mind) have a big science-y brain and/or are willing to experiment on yourself and hate spiders, you might be a Spiderman baddie. *Ref to Norman Osborn aka the Green Goblin and his son Harry aka Lil Green and also Dr. Otto Octavius* I think someone didn't care for his science teacher.. hmm.

Note: I only meet one of the above qualifiers, thank you very much! Wait, three , I got hair, I can walk and spiders are really icky. Well, I don't care.. Spiderman sux. More Half Nekkid Hugh!!

While Fantastic Four has made HRH happy.. I wasn't as impressed. Of course, I grade on a different scale. No Hugh and nobody as cute as Ghost Ridin' Nick Cage in a damp towel or as oldster sexy as Sam Elliot either. The action was great though and my fave character of the entire movie was Tha Thang.

Wait a minute, if he's the Duke, that makes me..The Duchess of Geekdom!


Michelle said...

I swear Jenna, you are the most hysterical person! I love reading your blog.

Book marking it now!

Jenna Leigh said...

Har dee har, Michelle. Mock my pain.. go on MOCK IT!

Ze Duchess of Geekdom--Who now has chocy and is really mellow

Michelle said...

oh, dangit. I just saw your last comment where you think 'oldster Sam Elliott' is HOT.

Girl, that man was and probably still is smokin'. Especially with that voice. My chill bumps get chill bumps jes thinkin about him.

or Samantha Reynolds
twice in two days--man I'm on a roll