Thursday, April 24, 2008

Interview with the Baby Vampire

You hear about people interviewing their characters all the time. I've never been able to get into it until I was trying to do my logline/tagline for Dateless and it just happened. So, here it goes, in a channeling her strange little I'm a freaky baby demon mindset type of way.

Gabby, Supah Secret Agent Baby's cunning plan involving Gah(Sharlene) and Cah (Cade)

1. Jump on Gah and suck her face until it bleeds. Then, trap Gah in the backseat of Cah's truck and whack her with my rattle until she sees stars. It made her look all goofy like my mommy does when my daddy kisses her. *gag* But then she screamed and so did Cah. I laughed.

I'm the best at bad backseat behavior.

2.Make faces at Gah until she gives me soda to drink. Smirk about this because she knows she's not supposed to do it. Meet a new man in with blonde sticky up hair who smiles a lot. I smile back, then growl and spit and hiss. I am what my mommy calls 'sugared up' from the soda. Yay! But I don't like the new man. Cah said I could bite him.

Who is Rosemary? My mommy's name is Allie.

3. Next time I see Gah, I grab her and try to pull her bathing suit top off. This wasn’t really part of the plan but, I bet Cah would give me some of his cheese crackers if I did it. And if I couldn't, there's always biting...again. Maybe I'll bite the new man with the sticky up blonde hair. Mommy, I think maybe your name is Rosemary.

Hey, do I hear bees?

4. Bat my eyelashes at Gah when I see her in the grocery store, then cry my no-fail fake tears for which I've won the Diva Diaper Demon Awards. This way she’ll take me from my mommy, and then, I can con her into giving me some of her ice cream. Okay, yes, this one was just for me, the heck with Cah’s crappy crackers.

I happen to like my baby rap songs. Baby G's in the hizzhouz!

5. Make Mommy take me to Gah’s house and then stick passie in her mouth watch the boring 'Fewd Netwuk' with her til she goes to sleep and I can take all her good DVDs. Hey, this diaper bag is good for more than just diapers. Ooh, Blues Brothers, it shall be mine.

I'm on a mission from Mom.

Love ya,

The Smallest Member of
The Neighborhood Inquisition
(Like you didn't know!)

PS: My daddy made me leave before I could see if all my plans worked. I was so mad, I waited til he fell asleep and gave him twirly hair. I do it all the time, so I'm good at it.

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