Sunday, October 22, 2006

New Orleans: I went.. I saw.. I walked all over the dang place

We the members of the Kenyon Cult..

And yall, I mean that in the best possible way I can say it. I've been a fan of Sherrilyn Kenyon since I picked up Fantasy Lover and opened the page and saw the pencil sketch of Julian's man chest. I sighed over the color of the cover itself (red) I drooled over the premise (paranormal) I hooted over the snarkfest the females had with each other within the opening paragraph. Plus, it happened in N'Awlins. Whoohoo!

That was the beginning of my love of all things Dark Hunter. Even though Julian wasn't an actual DH, hellooooo NURSE he's hot! and he's still one of my all time faves. I flipped over to the back of that book, saw her website and well, the rest is if not history then some serious chaos and disorder, and while my work on a certain fanfic loop is done, I'll never be free of my addiction.

Where's this lurve-fest all going you ask? Well, I'm getting there. This is a two part blog to show both my love and affection for a wonderful author and person and my love and affection for a wonderful city.

Day 1: I get on a bus with my hubby and daughter both about to step on their lips as they wave me off so I can meet the Neegnome aka Sgt Brie in Jackson Miss for our overnight stay before we head on into New Orleans the next morning to meet with some of the Kenyonites at Commander's Palace for lunch. I bought a small cd player and some used cd's at the last minute to make the trip go faster as I couldn't make my MP3 thingit work (read that Mozilla couldn't do it *pffth!*) As I listen to the Desperate Housewifes one, which is pretty good if I skip those talking bits, the lady I am sharing a seat with keeps scooching me over, therefore, I switch cd's to... Eric Clapton's greatest hits. As I cue up I Shot the Sheriff, I feel all empowered to push her back over to her side. I shall NOT give up my side of the seat to some ill-tempered woman that has a titch more 'back' than me. Nay, nay, thrice nay (nobody died on the bus trip)

Nee calls "Where the hell are you?"

Me: "I'm on da bus" the unspoken, 'with a seat hawg' must come through loud and clear because she snickers and tells me to call her when I'm almost there.. I do and she's waiting for me at the stop. I call hubby and daughter and they sniffle. Aww (ahahahahha! I'm free wweeeee!)

We fly to the hotel room like ninnies, yak and then snore for the rest of the night. Nee sets the alarm and asks for a wake up call being so prepared and some junk. *blink blink blink*

Day 2: The alarm goes off, she kills it.. the phone rings, she kills that too. But me, being this wonderful morning person *cringes at the lightening* gets up and takes her shower and gets ready. Nee glares at me from her hole in the covers under which she has burrowed. "What are you doing?" She growls. I fear she is a coffeevamp. She has this hiss that sounds quite like a perculator. Hmmhmm.

As the sweet one of the group for once in my life, I state that I am ready and waiting for her to do the same. She growls and bounds from the bed and shuffles in the bathroom with one eye open glaring at the sorry excuse for the coffeepot that refuses to emit anything but brownish water. However, we persevere, get ready and go downstairs for some slightly stronger blackish water which I, according to her corrupt by putting in milk and sugar (oh the horror and the humanity I have sinned!)

But like a slightly more feminine version of Willie and Weylon we are On the Road Again.. and damn does this woman fly like a bat outta hell! Oh, but I've failed to mention.. we don't like bridges. Yeah, and we've got to go over Lake Pontchartrain. *squeal!* We're chattering like monkeys and she suddenly notices all the water. "Are we on a bridge?" Her eyes go wide and her mouth gets tight.

I show my ignorance and have to look around for a minute or so, "I ur.. I think so."


There is the sound of Bic's being flicked, it's like a rock concert in that car. Inhales.. then I try to rationalize. "Well, tis really a raised road. I can jump out if I gotta."

Sgt Brie gives me the eye. "Shet up." *puff puff puff* And on it goes for about 6 million miles until I decide to call Meme, who had just gotten off the plane. Well, what the heck pops up in front of our eyes but the dang airport exit. Nee says, heck, we'll go get em, cause it's both her and Karen as well as Ange.

"OMG We're in Kenner, ain't this where that Booby Spear's is from, Nee? Nee?"

"I'm driving, doon't talk ta mee." (Uh oh.. I hear the cheese in der.. *zips lip*)The road to hell ain't paved with good intentions.. it's paved with the(moderately hawt) bodies of middleaged housewives who don't like driving or riding in big assed cities!! AAACCK!!

All for these two (I don't got a pick of Ange yet but I will *hee hee heeee!* ) we went into TERMINAL HELLGATE

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I don't drive *pauses to get on her knees and thank God for this fact* Nee does.. *pauses to thank Him again* But we talk to Karen and/or Meme about 12 times in 20 minutes while driving to the airport.. "We're comin." "Weeeeeee're heeerree wooohooo yeah HELL YEAH HOT DAYAM! I SEE ANGE I SEE MEME OMG KAREN HAS ON SHOES THAT ARE 25 STORIES TALL!I gotta pee. My ass hurts. The bastards broke my suitcase, DEATH AND DISMEMBERMENT!" and stuff to that effect have been bandied back and forth. Nee and I are mainlining nicotine and caffeine as we are slowed to a crawl at the entrance to the terminal.

"Nee, I want my mommy."

"Me too. Call her and tell her to come get us, right now."

Karen: "I can hear you two! Shut up and pick us up at gate 5, you big babies!"

Jenn/Nee: "AAAAAAACK!"

Meme: "What are they doing?"

Karen: "Smoking and whining"

Meme: "Perhaps they need some liquor?"

Karen: "No, but I do!"

(snorts) So, I get out and almost break my fool neck as I have on heels over an inch tall (pah!) I find them or more correctly, they find me. We get back to the van where Nee has rearranged things so all luggage can be shoved into the minivan (ha!) Karen slithers into the back jumpseat in a shortish skirt and high heels without showing her arse. I was most impressed. We drop Meme off at the hotel, park Nee's car and all grab a cab (poor Tink got put on a huge Tupperware thingit) and go to Commander's Palace to eat.. FINALLY.

All of us sit I'm usin aliases to protect the innocent.. not for me, as there ain't one big and bad enough to make me innocent bwahahaha! Nipps, Jacs, Tink, Karen, Mo, Nee, Me, Cy, Ange, Er.. Rose (Hell, if I forget someone, I'm sorry! I was hungry and Nee'd scared beejezus outta me!) .. Ange has arranged this by the way (thank goodness) Who do we see when we sit down? Bill Cosby.. All of them whip out their phones and take his picture. I look at him and think Picture Pages and Pudding.. jeez, I'm old and a pig LOL! Nipps says, Dep and Shawn are coming. However, as always at first, I can't understand crap all she says. It gets better as the next little bit of time passes. I go .. Okies. The waiter asks us if we're sisters. *blinks* Ok.. perhaps Karen, Tink, Nipps and myself and maybe Mo. We all have dark hair and eyes and medium skin. However, Jacs is of an obviously different heritage (I'm not sure what, but she's pretty and looks really kewl) the others ranged from blonde to strawberrry blondes and really white skin. I went yeah but Sisters of What is the question dear.. The Kenyon Cult.. and I made a scary hand sign. Kinda got hard to be waited on after that. *snicker*

Suddenly.. Deb and Shawn come in.. I see a lady about my age and a guy come in. Two chairs are left, one by me and the other down at the other end. They are married. I start to get up and move, but the Deb person waves me down sayin she sits by him all the time, she'll sit by me today. Nipps intro's them as Deb and Shawn in her pretty accent. She sits down holds out her hand calls herself Deb and I said I'm Jenn and she hollers and I look puzzled.. she says.. I'm Sol.. it dawns on me who the damn hell she is!.. Oh and Shawn's really cool, wish hubby could have met him.

Have you finally figured out we're all nutters and we've been released from the booby hatch on New Orleans yet? It hasn't? Well, it damn well should have by now! We had a wonderful time!

We ate like pigs at Commander's Palace off our own plates each other's plates bowls... sang.. yelled hooted.. the cabdriver stalked Tink's cell.. dear Lord! I met Sherri! Omg!!!!! *pant pant* Hubby is most jealous. He's her biggest fan (in height more thank likely) All of them were sweet, I the LOS and DH loopers in person for the first time.. And I had a blast. I loved it.. even the damn Chair Incident.. you will all bloody well pay.

Loved it.

I'll post more tomorrow.

Tired as hell, but smilin


PS: I came home and I made MY sweet tea (my only complaint)


L.B. said...

Wonder if anyone missed me there *sniffles* I wanted to go so bad.

Toni Lea Andrews said...

Hey, Sherrilyn Kenyon is TERRIFIC and she is the keynote speaker at our conference in Miami in February. Which is the absolute best time of year to be in Miami. Go to and check it out.

FeyRhi said...

Sounds like an amazing time so far I can't wait to read the rest of it! I only wish I could have been there, maybe one day.*G*

FeyRhi said...
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Karen said...

You got it all right - I snickered at you and Nee, hell yeah I did. And yes, I am most able to slither about in 25 story heels and my cute skirt, all while talking and texting and putting on my lip gloss. You were so sweet to come and get us at the airport - which was why I let ANGE do all the backseat driving and left poor Sgt. Brie alone. After all, she did a bang-up job rearranging that tiny space to fit all my luggage. Plus she was a great roomie who got me coffee in the morning and let me hog the bathroom for hours and hours.