Thursday, December 29, 2005

You've got mail

But why do I have it? I don't mean the things you get from your friends, associates or even slim acquaintances. I mean this crap you get from some jacked up porn site that you've spent your life being blissfully ignorant of, well, that game's over. Pfth!

Today I got a few emails worthy of a rant. One I got from Paypal in an account used strictly for business. I have no paypal account with this email, therefore I knew it was a fake. However, it looks very official despite all that. I have a paypal account, and my password is..


Well, it ain't spam, that's for sure. Pah!

Others that I get have this sort of subject.

Grow it larger: are they talkin veggies? If so, I suspect they mean the root variety *snicker*

Jendirectmeds: If my name or part of it is in the title, I am sooo gonna trust em. If they but knew the types of meds I actually take, they'd run far far away never to trifle with me again. Yeah, whatever, I hope they read my blog and I scare the crap outta em at least.

Herbal Viagra: Dude, you put your weed in where? :O LMAO

Nasty $mutty teans (the actual spelling, so we know what they've been doin w/them fingers to make em all fumblin and all): Does the little dollar sign make it funkier, jazzier, less like porn and not only porn but apparently illegal porn if they are beneath the age of 18? If so, where is the freakin FBI when I need them? Teen porn is illegal right? Mm.. is this one of those Catch 22 things? What a quandary.

And last but certainly not least

Booty Call: *blinks* Booty call? WTF is that? Do I look like someone that actually answers my phone much less for a flippin booty call? I'm married with a kid, an evil ass kid that makes me wish never to have sex again and p'raps have yet another evil kid. No, she's not that bad, ok, yes, she is! Pah! anyhoo, booty call my er.. ass! Idiots, twanks and nonspellers!!

Hell, they even spammed my blog. But apparently setting the antispam thing stops them. Or else, they are too damn lazy to type in that wiggly code that's up there when you go to comment. Not only are they annoying, but they are also lazy. For shame you spammers!!

If Seuss where alive today, would he have written this book instead?

To: Sam I am
From: Cindyloohoo@whoville*com
Subject line: Spam

I will not read the spam
I will not read it on a train
I will not read it on a plane
I will not read it in a car
I will not read it from a jar
I will not read it with my eyes
I will not read it with all the lies
I will not read the spam
Just, Damn!


Who likes the real spam grilled with cheese


Karen said...

I dislike all types of Spam, whether in a can, on the screen, or served fried with beans. Ick. I will not read it, Sam I am, I will not read it. LOL, nice rant for something long overdue. I got one the other day that said, "check out theese horny housewives!!! Moms in actshun!!!" Yeah, that's something I'm just dying to see.

Mechele Armstrong said...

I hateth the spam. I get tons. I also apparently win the lottery a lot in Europe. Yes, I get German spam *sigh*. LOL