Sunday, March 19, 2006

I am old enough not to squirm, right?

So, why do I not need the pictured cosmetic when my mother mentions my upcoming books to friends and relatives? *blushes*

She makes me squirm in my chair and I feel myself doing something I, the evil and wicked, never do. I blush. I'm not a modest person, or shy, not with them. I'm loud. With them, you have to be or you don't eat.

But, she did it to me today, brought it up in front of my aunt. Who asked again, when it was coming out. I explained the Braless in the Buick comes out in June of this year.

Then my daughter opens her even larger mouth and informs them that I have another called High Chairs and High Stakes coming out in the summer as well. My aunt was puzzled until I explained that it was about a single vamp dad and his little girl and the nanny that is hired to take care of her. Then she burst into laughter about the play on the word stake.

Thank God she got it. Of course, I shouldn't be surprised. I do get my humor from this gaggle of gregarious geese. Not to mention my big brown eyes *flutters lashes* I will admit that Devil Daddy did contribute to my humor quotient. Especially in light of the fact that mother couldn't tell a joke correctly to save her life.

*** segue into my next topic---oooh so smooth***
Genetics is a strange and heartless beast, you know. I mean it. My mother is tiny, petite even. She wears a size 7 shoe to my big 10. Her legs are bony, her butt is even bonier, and she's just little. I got her eyes, her smile, her chin, but, did I get the tiny buttness factor? Hell no!

I am my father from the neck down. Ok, with pertinent parts different, as I am a woman. But, I'm built on the same sturdy lines. Our legs are identical, our feet too, down to the longer 2nd toes and the almost non-existent pinky toes with the funky nails (curling up toes) Let's move on from my mutated feet please! *blushes* I have the same color skin (reddish bronze, N.A. Melting Pot Girl I am) the same hair type (oily and prone to waves), the same fuller lips, and high cheekbones that make my eyes disappear when I smile. I say this to take blame away from the fat.. *coughs* But, hell, I'm still short, unlike him. I could have been tall, but nooo dumpy short lil thing with large bosoms. (Happy hubby, sad back)

He's a humorous man, funny, witty, and fast with his mouth. Smartass southern is the branch we come from. The heck with the slow talking, dullwitted inbreds that are shown on the television. Honey, you only wish. We can talk our way out of a papersack. Why do you think so many politicians are from the south? Yeah, you think about it. Double speak is our second language. He can remember a joke from 20 years ago, tell it again and put a twist on it to make it even better. He's a born comedian, a big old bullshitter, and I do love him despite our differences over the years.

I can't deny he's my daddy, I don't want to deny it. I refuse to do so, but hey, this lil apple has fallen far from that rotted old tree and I aint' lookin back. I'll take what he gave me, a knack for storytelling, good spelling ability, wicked imagination, big smartass mouth and combine it with my mother's family's penchant for sharp cutting remarks, fighting ability and sheer meanness. They are the pygmies from hell. All of them short and pissed about it. The Napoleon Complex aint' got nothin on these lil banty roosters of the redneck set.

My father's family is all tall. Someone asked me once, why are all your heroes so tall? I went, they aren't' but like 6'1" - 6'3" and after a silence, I was told that was above average. Is it? Wow, we are some long tall rednecks then. My father's brothers are all above 6ft. My own daughter is 6ft tall. My grandmother (his mother) was almost 6ft, this was in an age when women were not that tall, mind you. So, hey, go with what you know. LOL.

By the way, the real reason my heroes are all tall is simply this, my hubby is 6'4" I'm 5'5" and my head fits under his chin when we hug. It's nice, I like that, all cuddly. Great romance for life and for a book.

Tomorrow is Monday, another day in the life of me, the secretary in the hellish environment that is my workplace. Here's to one day being just a writer, or at least, a writer fulltime and going to a job parttime. Wohoo!

Jenn, The Drudge,

PS!! MY NOVELLA WAS ACCEPTED AT MIDNIGHT SHOWCASE!! THANKS JEWEL AND MAE!!! (HUGS) High Chairs and High Stakes!! A paranormal romantic comedy.. coming soon!


Karen said...

Hmmm, so many names that I can call you now. I think I like banty rooster best though. So freaking psyched about the High Chairs & High Stakes. As though there were ANY doubt. Duh. Our digest will kick ass, take names, and catapult us into the ebook stratosphere!! So I have said, so let it be DONE. (Now you can stop all that damn sucking up.) THANK GOD.

Caffey said...

Hi Jenna, I so love your humor its going to be fun reading your books! I loved reading your family reaction to the books! I smile too because I look at years ago pictures of my mom and I look alot like her. I too act alot like her (and I said in the past i'll never be like her, LOL) but you know what, I love it. Her and I loved the comforts of being home, reading our books, doing puzzles, being with the family, and so much more! But its your blog and i'm blabbling! I'm just glad I found it! We met in the Midnight Showcase chats with Mae and Jewel and all. Aren't they fab. I'm glad they picked you too!

Anonymous said...

Major, major congrats!!
Can't wait to read them. I just know they'll be great.