Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Ur.. what?

So, today, I look at the news on my pages and what do I see? A ban on the sale of sex toys. In Old Miss, they are not allowed to even BUY them. I wonder if this extends to online sales too. If so, where do they get off telling people what they can and cannot spend their hard earned money on?

Come on, people. Get with it. You will allow some drunken idiot the right to take a loaded rifle in the woods to shoot a damn deer, and yet you won't let a lonely woman (the one the drunk and probably flaccid hunter left home alone btw) buy a dildo to fill her.. well.. lonely spaces?

Kids take guns to school and shoot people. I'm not for gun control by the government, just so you know. I'm way to freakin southern for that bit of blasphemy, however, I am for gun control by the private citizen. In other words, keep the guns away from the kids and the idiots. Your cousin Fred with the seven toes on each foot, would be an idiot, that's a piece of advice.

I think on it like this. Horny people are bitchy. Bitchy people make other people cranky. Cranky people drive home on the freeway, get way big pissed. You combine horny, bitchy, and cranky all in one person and you've got a hostage situation just waiting to happen. Choco-therapy only helps so much.

Would you rather the person bought a massager that plugs into the wall for this sort of thing? That's a safety hazard. Electricity and moisture.. mm, NO! If a person got their er.. privates fried by the massager because they couldn't in the words of the Rollin Stones "get no satisfaction" otherwise, could said person not sue your ass and move to a more tolerant state so they could get their jollies with the high dollar dildos? Mmm?

Look, you hickish, redneck and yeah, paranoidly jealous freaks; deal with it, your old lady wants some good vibrations. Maybe if you stayed home and stopped hunting and fishing and oooh yeah, visiting your MISTRESS, she'd probably lay off the Battery Operated Boyfriend.


Let's hear ya Louisiana Losers!! And do NOT get me started on the Lone Star State. If you really DID grow em bigger there, the sale of sex toys wouldn't have surpassed the sale of fricking guns. Or, maybe if the sale of guns hadn't surpassed the sale of flowers, or chocolate, or hey, just a little time spent with her..

Give it a try, honey. Until then, leave them girls alone..

Can you hear this? *bbzzzzz bzzzzz* That seems to be coming from the State Senator's house..

Looks like Mrs. Senator's wife has her a battery operated intern.. *grins*

5 comments:

Karen said...

Hey! Teachers! Leave them girls alone! LOL Nice rant, Jennzilla. You KNOW I was in the mood for one.

Karen - writer of porn

FeyRhi said...

hmmm note to self. ~Do not visit Old Miss, the lone start state or surprise visit Jenna for fear of being arrested stepping off the plane.~ *BG* Damn I though them gold o'l boys were tougher then that. Can't stand a little competition from a buzzing bit of silicone?

Deb said...

Now why you gotta go and talk about Texas that way Jenn? Huh? You just gotta stir that shit up doncha?

Mary Stella said...

**A ban on the sale of sex toys. In Old Miss, they are not allowed to even BUY them. I wonder if this extends to online sales too. If so, where do they get off telling people what they can and cannot spend their hard earned money on?**

Given that they've banned sex toys, I, too, wonder when, how and how often they're getting off. Show of hands?

*veg*

Mechele Armstrong said...

I saw that too. *shakes head*

I think they need to get off.