Sunday, July 02, 2006

Children of the Corn... Child of the 80's

Yeah yeah, shut UP! I know I'm supposed to be writing something! However, I must tell about my neurosis. I must purge my pitiful pain upon this page for all to see thereby letting out my sorrow so that I may somehow overcome *sobs*
Oh fiddle, I'm letting yall know that I'm scared of the dang corn, ok?
Yes, me! I'm afraid of corn!
Not on the plate, if you slather it in butter I can scarf it like a big dawg. Then I am the predator and it becomes my prey.. bwhahahahhhah. *coughs*
However, when it's on the stalk *points at the picture* looking like that, and it's dark and the wind blows through it, making that sawing sighing weird noise, I swear I hear that boy talking. "He wants you too Malachai." *shudders* Eeeek! Surely Malachai is my hubby's name, right?*runs away* (How in the crap do you spell that? and how does that little boy talk that way?)

The point is, my father in law has MEANLY planted three rows of that vicious veggie which looms over a small alley of grass for me to walk through to get to my Grandfather in law's. *grumbles*

In the day time, I'm ok. But at night, it turns into .. STEPHEN KING HOUR!! ACCK! I see things.. and then, OMG the movie Signs.. and there is no Mel Gibson to soften the blow either. *whimpers*

Why is corn so scary? And the scarecrow's too. We don't have one thank God, crows don't come down here cause it's too damn hot, and we got a mean Pom who'd eat them. *blinks* Oh and a baby who I mentioned racking the hubby in my previous blog post. *hee hee hee* She'd try and eat them too or drown them in the swimming pool. Which makes me wonder why I'm so scared of the hapless and potentially yummy corn when the Children in the Corn (aka Hubby's baby sister) are where the real danger lies.. Wait, darkness falls, big tall swaying corn.. bugs, spiders. AAAAAACK!

As always, Stephen King had the right idea..

Children of the Corn was a slash and gore book that became a slash and gore 80's film or was it a deep and abiding truthful tell all book about the frightening savagery of children? Mm, points for an author to ponder on a Sunday afternoon when she's supposed to be writing a synopsis instead.

Wait.. You realize, he used kids to scare people a lot?
Little Redrum in the Shining.. and them damn twins too.. eek
Gage in Pet Sematary.. The cat too
Carrie.. poor thing.. she went PMS postal!
Rose Red The little girl with the arm? She was scary

He likes to use little kids in his stories to lure people in to bring them down to . .. SCARE YOU! Kids are innocent they are otherworldly they are simply other to adults and he knows it. We aren't kids anymore and we sometimes look at them like they're aliens. Especially when they're teens. Babies... instruments of horror, who knew? Well, the King did. REDRUM!! And I'm not getting into the dogs, clowns and dolls *shudders* ew.

Who is going back to her dang synopsis now.
psst.. I know there is one that will agree w/me about loving the King of Horror.. *hands her a cookie with blood red icing* *winks*

1 comment:

Mechele Armstrong said...

LOL *takes cookie* Yes I do agree about the King of horror.

My closet door still stays open thanks to that man. I want to make sure ain't nothing hiding in it.