Thursday, July 20, 2006

The heat is on...

Ok this man is hot. I will admit there is a certain sort of heat, that I actually enjoy. I like to sweat when I look at him. When his smoldering gaze settles upon me alone among the millions of others, and I know it is me that he's looking at not YOU PEOPLE *pauses for a drink of tea* and there's a certain, you know, pooling of liquid, in my ..

Oh .. just.. stop looking at the damn picture.

What? I wasn't talking to yall, I was talkin to myself! Gah! Anyway.. That sort of heat is way cool, and I like it a LOT.. *sigh* Dayam. *shields eyes and types*

If you will recall, hubby and I had the thermo wars not a week ago, and yes, I did state in a not so nice manner that I would buy my own 'flashlight' and if he ticked me off, said 'flashlight' would have three speeds and some most delightfully wicked multi-functional thingimabobble doohickies on it, and it would be my new best friend. However, I did not know my new 'flashlight' wouldn't be a BOB but would in fact be a FAN. Yeah, Xrated has turned into oscillated.

He turned off my damned AC again! OMG! I can NOT believe him. I am between sleep and waking.. it's 2 am. Is this the bitching hour or something? I have to ask Meems, if she doesn't know the answer, she'll either know or she'll let me come live with her, where I am quite sure her hubby doesn't do this sort of heinous crapola. And if he does, then it is two of us against him, so nannie nannie boo boo. Anyhow, I am just there, blinking at the ceiling, wondering why I can't sleep, and then wondering why I'm sweating so profusely.

I again think of the menopause, and smile, but once again, my hopes are dashed upon the shores of the Summer of De'Spare (as in the bedroom, where he'll be sleepin if he does this again) My brain shifts into sweaty overdrive, panicking because I have to work in the morning on no sleep, by myself. What if I pass out, nobody else is there. OMGOMG!

Finally, I snap out of the fugue state, and stomp out of my room down the hall and slam the thing off 95! Yes, you heard me right, 90 frickin 5!! GAAAAAAAAH! I turn around and stomp back into my room and turn the bathroom light on, the one that he always yells about shining him in the eyes. *growls* And I stand at the end of the bed and I glare at him, loudly. Glares make noise, if you do them RIGHT! However, he sleeps on, so peacefully, looking so innocent and sweet that I wish to kill him with my second best knife. I won't use my first best because I will NOT have it languish in the evidence pen of some redneck podunk police department while I get off scot free for killing him. Because let me tell you not a jury will convict me once I tell them why I did it!

Prosecuter: Ma'am? Why'd you stab yo hubby 20 times?
Me: Well, he turned my dang AC off.
Defender: What month was this again?
Me: It was July and ..
Jurists: gasps!!!
Judge: chokes
Prosecuter: I object!!
Judge: To what? Hell, he needed killin! Case dismissed!
Jurists: Hell yeah! Killin's too good for him..

Ok, maybe not scot free, I may have to serve at least ONE term as governor. *sighs* But, after that, I'm not doin nothing else. No talk shows, and no baby kissin, they have germs.

I do love that man, though, and he must have felt guilty, because he bought me my fav salad and a Frosty for lunch.

But he's being watched.. Amazon Teen Queen's is my spy and if he so much as touches that thermostat, she comes and tells me. But the real danger lurks beneath the bed.. EFO the secret agent cat/assassin, he's decided that the time has come to ventilate the MFU (male feeder unit) Meowch!

I hope that we make it through August without killing one another in the Thermo-wars. I'm If I win the Lotto, my first purchase shall be a house at the North Pole, I'm moving there for the remainder of the summer.

Viv La AC!! Blow baby blow


1 comment:

Mechele Armstrong said...

I think I'd have to kill for that too.

Nice pict though.