Saturday, July 01, 2006

There's a thin line

Between love and hate.
This isn't just a song you know. In your relationships, whether spouse, friend, child, work (spit, hiss, growl .. er.. sorry) or where you grocery shop, (ze Hellmart) there are always two sides to the coin. Especially for me. I don't know if it's because I'm a woman, a writer, a Libra or crazy LOL or what, but I have this duality in me.

Case in point:

Hubby comes home while I'm promo-ing the book. Puts on her promo face:
Spellfire Moons is OUT !! WHOO YEAH! I'm so happy about it too, yall.

What does he do? He comes in here and stands over me like a vulture and talks while I'm trying to type out something to the loops knowing I can't walk and chew gum at the same time much less think. I stop and ask him to wait a minute and let me do this and I'll be right out. I do this nicely. *pauses* I do! Why are you all snickering, I can be nice, sometimes. So, he keeps on with his rant. I finally say, in the no longer nice way that if he doesn't remove himself from my immediate vicinity it shan't be pretty. And I gnash my teeth at him. He stalks off still ranting.

I am sick too. *cough cough cough* Is it dark in here or is it just me? Good bye cruel world! Parting is such sweet sorrow.. *opens one eye* Fine! I aint dyin but still, he could leave me the crap alone! I don't care if the daughter is still asleep at noon, hell if I could have stayed asleep I would have too! Stupid new meds, how dare they allow me to wake up so bloody refreshed feeling. Pah! Fiddle and all that. However, I do have a kidney infection, but this doesn't prevent him from whining for me to help him CLEAN THE BLOODY HOUSE
OMG THE HUMANITY THE HORROR!! THE PAIN !!!THE PAIN!!
MY EYES ARE BLEEDING!!! MY BRAIN HAS MELTED..

Yall aren't buyin that any more than he did are yall? Well crap! Am I gonna have to give my Oscar back to the Academy? I refuse.. it's too damn late anways cause I peeled all the gold foil off and ate the chocy so pfffth!

So, we clean and clean and clean.. and I have way more socks than I thought, and way more bras too. Why do I keep old razors? And how in the hell did all this stuff get under the bed? *shoves it all back under there* He enjoys the vacuum, which frightens me. However, he doesn't understand the concept of the toilet brush or the comet on the sink and the cleaning the mirror of all this toothpaste flickings, which irritates ME to no end.

So, basically I hate him. *smiles*

He bought an air purifier so this is why we did all this b.s. and my room smells all clean now, like my mother's house. I will be unable to sleep for fear that she'll come sidling in and loom over me with her arms folded across her chest waiting for me to wake up so she can critique my crappy hospital corners. They're wonderful by the way, and what would SHE know? She's had a damn waterbed for the past 20 years. *snorts* I'm so glad she doesn't read my blog *blinks* At least, I hope she doesn't read my blog. Dear God, don't let her read my blog.

Still hating him...

Then, he comes into the house.. gets his Light Sabers and Darth Vadar Mask (don't ask and NO they haven't been used for THAT! gah) and goes outside. I hear him, my daughter, his baby sister and nieces outside, giggles, squeals. Then the inevitable happens, the high pitched screams begin, the sound of running, more giggles..

He comes in.. slams the door and locks it.. His baby sister (she's two) racked him with a saber.. laughed like a loon. His hair is stuck up all over his head and he looks pretty much adorable.. aw, damn, I guess I've crossed back over the line..

and I love him again,

even though he's Jethro the Redneck Jedi.. ok, especially then.And you know I'm sayin it.

The Force is strong within those young ones and yes, I am teaching them well. Impressive.. most.. impressive.. Hubby better watch out the next time the Jenn-Pire Strikes Back, cause I'm gonna teach the littlest Ewok some new tricks over behind the 3rd moon of Jenndor where he can't see us.

Jenn Vadar
Signing off..
PS: Yall know I'm really peeved now cause I am really a damn Trekkie! I'm down on my knees beggin Spocks forgiveness too(erm.. yeah that's what I'm doin' down here *winks*)

1 comment:

Karen said...

Finally, moves to the Dark Side, Jenzilla does! Hahahahah!And here's my promo face: yeah baby! Spellfire Moons! Soooooo happy. Except now I feel guilty that I haven't cleaned out my closet yet. Damn.