Friday, April 28, 2006

Small bit of advice.

If you know an elevator is out of order, perhaps when the door is closing on a person INSIDE said elevator is NOT the time to say loud enough for her to hear. "Let her get on it and we'll see if it's not working and THEN we'll call maintainence." *makes a very unhappy face* As the damn doors are closing .. CLOSING I SAY! I being the lazy heifer on the elevator instead of taking the stairs as I know I should, but I don't as my knees suck from 15 years worth of hind catching.. well, to say I freaked out is a bit of an understatement.

The truth would be more along the lines of somewhere in between me stuck to the ceiling of the elevator ala Sylvester the cat when the mice scared him and a lot of nasty words being bellowed while I searched unsuccessfully for my cigarettes. I'd only bought one down with me and had already smoked it. My oral fixation was not going to be indulged during this horrid stay in a tiny little cubicle of steel that could at any minute drop me the admittedly small distance of oh, say 12 feet or so. This would screw up my weekend to say the least.

Old people are evil. I think since they are closer to death, they don't fear it quite so much. They are the ones that decided that I would be the Jennia pig for their little does the elevator work experiment.

Note: The Aerosmith song, Love in an Elevator at no time ran through my brain. 1. because their aint nobody in there with me 2. because, just ew, how unsanitary, imagine all the germs. *gack* 3. I could get fired so why should I do that when I have a perfectly wonderful hubby at home for such a purpose in the comfort and privacy of my own bedroom.

Ok, relative comfort and so so privacy as at any time you can see the cat sticking his paw beneath the door to aggro us. Or the insane teen queen comes to jiggle the door and then screams "EWW GROSS EWW" as she figures out why we have the door locked. She admonishes us, to use something for heaven's sakes as she don't want no siblings before she runs off, noisily. I am so proud to have taught my baby that protection is important if for no other reason than that she will continue to enjoy her only child status within this household and my hubby will continue to enjoy having his testicles where they belong and not in a jar in my mother's jail cell. *blinks*

Where was I? Oh yes, the damn elevator! I am trapped in the frigging thing and I can hear them buzzards out there saying, well, I guess it doesn't work. Lets call maintainence. At least, I think this is what they say as I am frantically pressing the open door button at the speed of freak, all the while consigning their geriatric asses straight to old people hell. I have just decided to sic my grandfather in law on them, he has a walker and he ain't afraid to use it, when MIRACLE OF MIRACLES!! The damn thing opens.

They look surprised.. and if I don't miss my guess, disappointed that I didn't try and climb out the top. Gah!! So, I just give them the crazy eye, which I've mentioned doesn't work as well as it did at one time. One is a former school teacher, nothing phases her, the other is a man, and well, as you know, NOTHING gets through to them at times. When I whine to my boss, he snickers at me.

This could be because of the evil trick I played on him just this morning, however, I am not admitting to anything and C made me do it. He did!

Friday is finally here!!


The very low on the food chain
Jenn/Jenna Leigh.
PS, when I'm rich and famous, I'm gonna buy that hospital. I'd say I'd fire them, but they're volunteers.


Karen said...

Yes. Buy the hospital and hire George Clooney to walk around and say things like, "we need to get this patient to the ER, STAT!" and wear those sexy blue scrubs. Plus you should have your own private elevator, if you owned the place. That way, no one could mess with you.

Jenna Leigh said...

Can I have Joe Perry in it? I mean, Steve Tyler may be the front man, but Joe's smokin hot! dannng!