Friday, September 23, 2005

Does this make me a sub?

I did it. I really freakin did it!! OMG. I am going to hurl.
I submitted my first ever proposal to an actual publisher. I am going to pass out now. Yes, I believe I am entitled to pass out, right? I mean, right? RIGHT???

In the immortal words of Charlie Brown..


As for the picture on the right, I figure the Doctor will say for me to take two of him and call in the morning. *sighs dreamily* Doc will say it because I am his secretary and I am the evil guardian at the gate. He knows who keeps the irritations at bay. He also knows I am a major irritant in my own right. So, on his orders.. I shall just look upon Yon Blue Eyes there and drool on my keyboard, if this causes me to get a bit of an electrical shock, is all good. I am sure I need the therapy after the week I've had.

Now, because I need to say it and I may as well do it here in public.

Oh, I won't name names so, don't worry, you do know who you are though.

I have had it brought to my attention that I am not a very good friend. I'm not, I freely admit it, I am thoughtless, careless and goofy. But on the plus side, I am a loyal and loudmouthed bitch that will have your back if need be.

I just don't remember birthdays, anniversaries, etc. not even my own sometimes. I love a lot of people, but not very many in any deep and abiding way. My husband, sure, my kid, hell yes. But others? I don't know if maybe it is a defense mechanism of being hurt so damn much and yeah, betrayed by someone close to me (relative wise) that makes me do that. I just sort of have this wall that protects me from things, and its my wall, I have spent 30 some odd years building it. It aint goin down no time soon, unlike the levee in NOLA.

I am not an emotionally demonstrative person either. Not even to my own family. I don't call my mother often enough, I don't ever call my kid brother unless like now, I am worried about him during this yet another bad storm. Kids are ok, in small doses, I am a total cat person, the dog is too demanding of affection.

Rita the PITA is just gonna plow right through the states of LA/TX/ARK I guess. Crap, as if we needed more disaster. My emotions are all so wrapped up in that right now. But it is not an excuse for my somewhat sorry assed behavior.

So, any and all that read this blog. I am saying it now. Please do not send me anything, no gifts cards etc..., do not think of me when you see something and say oh, she needs that. I don't need anything, just a quick hello and/or goodbye once in a while. I cannot return the favor, and I feel guilty, so don't do it.

Love you all. And the one that opened my eyes to my shortcomings, yeah, I love you too. Never doubt it, just know, I have my limitations that I am very much aware of, even more so after today.

Have a good Friday everyone. Please be safe.

I am as always,

Just Jenn

I Know


Karen said...

Everyone has shortcomings, most people just can't see past their own asses to admit to them. I myself am selfish, vain, childish, bossy, and at times insensitive. Oh, yeah, add in stubborn and materialistic. Um, and spoiled. Can't forget that one. Seriously the list could (and does) go on and on. But in spite of all my many quirks and faults, you, in the short time I have known you, have always been cool to me. Had my back, kept it real, and the rest of that shit. So in my book (which is the only one that counts, in my vain, spoiled, materialistic, and self-centered opinion) you is all good, girlie.

Plus, you got off your lazy ass and submitted something, even if it freaked you out. Even Charlie Brown kicks one of those footballs sometimes. Woo hoo! We all have our fingers crossed (me and all my personalities) K

Mechele Armstrong said...

*does a snoopy dance* I'm so glad you submitted. Let me know what happens! You so rock and will keep da fingers crossed.

And we all have our shortcomings *shrugs* and we are all wired differently. Makes the world go round.

One thing you do for me a lot is to make me smile. Your forwards, your straight talking language. I've appreciated it on more than one occasion.

Deshanna said...

Woohoo On the submission! When I grow up (if I ever admit to it anyway) I'm gonna be just like you. I'm so not a good friend. I'm kinda mean, very opinionated and all kinds of spastic about remembering things. I think you're doing just fine and you make me laugh which is all I ever ask.

Meme said...

Aww Jenn,

Look everyone brings something to the table in a relationship. So you forget b-days and such? You are insightful and thoughtful in other ways that are, to me anyway, more important than remembering a date.

When I met you I was in a very dificult transition of my life, I can honestly say that without you ( and the other girls, you know who you are) I would have had a much more difficult time.

You are the sort of friend that gives support when one needs it, a laugh when one needs it, and a kick in the ass when one needs it. I count myself blessed to have you in my life, your friendship is better than a thousand B-day pressies.


FeyRhi said...

Just because a person remembers all the 'special' days for everyone in their universe does not mean that they care more then anyone else.

My dad ALWAYS forgets my birthday. Does that mean he loves me any less. Hell no!! I get a phone call from him about a week later that usually goes. "Hey Kid, Sorry I didn't call you on your birthday but I was thinking about you." It's kind of a joke now and if ever did call on my birthday, I would worry he was really sick or something.

All I'm saying that those that truly love you, will love you for your quirks and excentricities that make us all special. If they get all bunged up about something they think you should have done, then they should have reminded you.

Huge congratulations on your submission. Good luck, I'm saveing some space on my credit card for your book ;o)